The Purple Light: 8 Signs Someone Hates You Secretly

Saturday, June 8, 2024

8 Signs Someone Hates You Secretly

By Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted on June 8, 2024

If someone hates you secretly, they will act in a much different way. Unlike people who blatantly dislike you, they will be a bit more covert in their actions and words.

The only thing worse than being outright hated is when someone hates you secretly. It’s worse because, sometimes their actions aren’t noticed by other people, much like with a narcissist.

Many people who secretly hate others are narcissists. Behaviors such as this are draining and can damage your self-esteem. Worst of all, they will leave you feeling confused.

Signs someone hates you secretly

While individuals who don’t like you may not yell or insult you outright, they will resort to devious behaviors. They will make sure you’re aware of how they really feel. To understand how this works and see the big picture, here are a few signs that someone hates you secretly.

1. They cannot compliment you

Someone who hates you secretly is fake. Considering compliments are acts of praise that let someone know you care about them, this doesn’t match with the hater’s mindset. In fact, your noticeable good qualities may be what makes someone secretly hate you.

Yeah, they’re not going to bring attention to your good points, so you’ll know.

2. They throw shade

In case you’re wondering what that means, let me fill you in. Throwing shade is kind of like the opposite of a compliment, except it’s not a blatant insult. Shade tends to be negative connotations veiled in subtle expressions or comments. It’s a sidelong insult.

An example would be the “side eye”, which is often used by unhealthy cliques known for excluding anyone different.

3. They use passive aggression

Someone who hates you secretly, as I’ve mentioned before, will not be outwardly aggressive in their remarks or actions. This individual will use passive aggression with snide remarks or fake comments, and you’ll know they’re taking jabs at you.

Other people may not notice the aggression like you do, and that’s normal. When it comes to being passive aggressive, the point is to show dislike only to the object of your disdain.

4. Baseless disagreement

It’s okay to disagree with someone. Don’t get me wrong. But when someone hates you secretly, they will disagree with you for no logical reason. It could be obvious that you said the correct thing, but they will say you’re wrong, anyway.

It seems the only way for this person to express their frustration is to argue with you. And you may have no clue why they’re doing this.

5. They aren’t happy for you

When you’re successful at something or achieve a goal, they aren’t happy for you. People who like you will celebrate your life and truly care for you. It will be obvious that someone hates you secretly when they refuse to acknowledge the good things you do.

I know this can be hard to accept, but the sooner you do, the sooner you can move on to someone who truly cares about you.

6. You’re being excluded

What I’m about to say may not apply to everyone. But do you remember being excluded in school by certain cliques of people? Yeah, well, I do. There was always this group of people who seemed closed off from others.

Here’s the interesting part: many times, they pretended to be kind and good listeners, but they were really hateful toward particular people. If you feel like you’re being excluded by someone, and it’s reminiscent of high school, you could be seeing secret hatred. While not all groups are like this, unfortunately, many are.

7. They spread rumors about you

It’s so hurtful when someone spreads a rumor about you, and more so, excruciating when you think it’s your friend doing this. Let me break it to you.

You’re being secretly hated by the one person you thought was there for you. But instead of supporting you, they’re going behind your back and spreading rumors. If you hear that your friend has done this, it’s a huge sign that they may not like you as much as you thought. In fact, they may hate you.

8. They vilify you

A step further from spreading rumors is making other people hate you, too. This is the whole objective. If someone hates you secretly, they will want others to hate you. But they want to make sure you look like the villain first, so it’s “well-founded” hatred.

This is probably the most diabolical thing that they do to you. Not only are you on this hater’s poop list, but you’re also being hatred by others for no reason at all.

So, what can you do with this information?

Well, if you figure out that you’re being secretly hated, it’s best to cut all ties with this person. You know what kind of individual you are, and their presence damages you. To live a full life and enjoy the company of real friends, you must sever ties with the fake ones.

Consider these signs and ask yourself, “Am I being secretly hated by someone?” If so, I hope you have a smooth process of cleaning out your circle.

Featured image by karlyukav on Freepik

Sherrie Hurd

About the author:

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

Staff writer at Learning Mind
Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.

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