9 Helpful Ways to Stop Overworking and Overdoing
By Sarah Bowen
Post on May 14, 2026
Daylight saving time kicks me in the rump every fall. As the days get shorter, the amount of time that feels available shrinks. Each year I commit to honoring the Earth’s not-so-subtle nudges to rest and rejuvenate. And most years, I fall short.
As my to-do list grows and my timeliness falters, everything starts slipping at once. My writing projects lag, students’ homework to grade piles up, and holiday cards sit untouched. I can’t remember the last time I talked to someone about something that wasn’t work-related. Even my volunteer animal advocacy seems overwhelming. What was once a reprieve from the workday is now the work of my life. I experience a predictable emotional cycle of guilt, shame, and profuse apologies to the people around me. “I’ll catch up, I know I will!”
Eventually, my deep, inner knowing—helped along, perhaps, by a whisper of grace—finally accepts the truth: I will not catch up. Something must be shed. A recalibration must begin. And that’s when recovery becomes possible.
We Are in an Epidemic of Busyness
We often describe busyness as a personal failing—bad planning, poor discipline—but it’s also a cultural epidemic. While Americans do not work more hours than any other nation (Colombia is currently the lead), we rank in the top third, according to the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development.
Microsoft Research reports that remote work, while offering flexibility, extended the average workday during and after the pandemic, as remote workers use evening hours as a “productive window for quiet catch-up.” We’re working more on the weekends, too. Digital chatting interrupts all hours of the day, leading to what they call “a culture of always-on responsiveness.” What’s more, the rapid adoption of AI has led to what Microsoft now calls “the chaos of the infinite workday.”
A boundary-blurred work-from-home life has fueled rising burnout rates, with job insecurity another leading factor. The American Psychological Association’s Work in America Survey reports that 38 percent of Americans believe their personal relationships are suffering due to work stress, and 44 percent have difficulty sleeping.
So it’s apparently not just me struggling with how to keep up. We’re a nation of people constantly flipping between “I’m fine!” and “I’m drowning!” unsure of how to get ourselves off a proverbial runaway train.
Start Setting Simple Boundaries
At some point, the body and spirit will stage an intervention. Change begins not with a grand gesture, but with a single honest question: What can I realistically fit into my life?
Start by renegotiating expectations—both yours and others’. Practice saying: “My bandwidth is lower right now; can we adjust the timeline?” or “I’d like to help, but I can’t take that on right now.”
People-pleasing often masquerades as kindness, but in reality, it’s a slow self-abandonment. Try replacing an automatic yes with a pause: “Let me check my capacity and get back to you in a few days.”
9 Ways to Reclaim Time and Balance
Build micro-boundaries, especially if you work from home.
- Start Each Day SlowlySet a 15-minute timer dedicated to your chosen spiritual practice. Whether you decide to partake in a sun meditation, recite a centering prayer, read devotional literature, or write nature poetry, you get to set the pace of how your body should function during the day.
- Set Focus Modes on Your PhoneFocus modes, such as Work, Rest, and Personal automatically turn on and off at precise times. Modes restrict which apps or people can notify you based on the priorities you set. (Google “focus time phone” for instructions for your phone model.)
- Be Inspired by Slow AnimalsObserving snails, manatees, sloths, and other slower-paced creatures can provide creative ideas for self-care.
- Ditch the Screens at Meal TimeEat at least one meal a day without looking at a screen. Ideally, this should be done while using actual utensils and while sitting at a table, not eating hastily over the sink or while hovering over your laptop.
- Create a Midday Check-inLook at your to-do list and judge what is feasible. If looking at your list brings overwhelm, call a friend and ask for help.
- Create a Shutdown RitualUse an automatic timer for the lamps in your work area. Set a prescribed time for the lights to turn off, creating a visible “done for the day” indicator.
- Say Out Loud, “I’m Stopping Now.”This simple verbal cue can work surprisingly well to interrupt the compulsion to keep going.
- Practice the One-Screen RuleIf you’re watching a movie to rest, only watch the movie. No dual-tasking unless it is absolutely necessary. Better yet, leave your phone and laptop in another room.
- Choose One Day a Month for Slow TravelTaking a slow, leisurely drive with the radio off can do wonders for creating spaciousness in your life. Try these other tips, too.
Reasons We May Overwork and Overdo
Chronic overdoing doesn’t appear out of nowhere. It often has roots in family-of-origin systems. For many people, the compulsion to overwork isn’t merely a habit—it’s a survival strategy that once kept them emotionally safe.
In Chained to the Desk: A Guidebook for Workaholics, Their Partners and Children, and the Clinicians Who Treat Them, psychotherapist Bryan E. Robinson observes that overworkers often experienced conditional approval, inconsistent caregiving, or emotionally unpredictable environments in childhood, causing them to equate productivity with safety, lovability, and control in adulthood.
Robinson notes that even when taking time away from the job, work-addicted people will find their minds engaged in “mental preoccupation [about work], even when they appear to be relaxing or socializing.” They succumb to “self-imposed demands, an inability to regulate work habits, and an overindulgence in work to the exclusion of most other life activities.”
A mature body of literature on the behavioral addiction of overdoing and overworking—as well as overcaring for a loved one—reveals that some of us may not be able to “just choose” to change. Professional help can benefit us in taking better caring of ourselves.
Here are a few resources to start:
- Read Chained to the Desk: A Guidebook for Workaholics, Their Partners and Children, and the Clinicians Who Treat Them or Chained to the Desk in a Hybrid World: A Guide to Work-Life Balance by Bryan E. Robinson, PhD.
- Peer-support groups can offer both solidarity and practical tools. Workaholics Anonymous (WA) holds free meetings—in person, by phone, and on Zoom—and their website includes helpful resources for discerning whether work addiction may be part of your story.
- Look for therapists familiar with workaholism, perfectionism, burnout, family systems, or behavioral addictions.
- Spiritual care providers and chaplains can help you explore deeper existential or values-based questions.
A Shift May Only Take Minutes
Whether your overdoing impacts you some days or every day, you don’t have to keep white-knuckling your way through a life of too much. Prioritize time to unlearn the survival strategies that no longer serve you. Above all else, honor seemingly small wins.
Today, I spent a luxurious five minutes in winter meditation, staring out my writing room window at our snow-filled backyard. A few willful leaves still fluttered on the maples. Underneath, I saw the tracks of critters who visited last night. Rather than taking in the backyard as a whole, I tried to look at each tree separately, a seemingly impossible task that felt simultaneously less efficient yet deeply necessary for slowing down my day.
