Saturday, March 14, 2026

Free Rein

Post on March 14, 2026

 

A gentle reminder; my darling child, before you came there was a plan, but not one that you believe it to be. Yes, the learning experiences were requested, and a general direction was chosen. 

However, there was a certain ambiguity thrown into the mix. This was not to confuse or confound you, instead the ‘just so’ placement increases your ability to create, learn and grow. 

Instead of one or two paths, there are an infinite number of directions for any given circumstance you experience on a day-to-day basis. Your free will is truly given free rein. 

The goal, the purpose, is not to confine you into a certain place or time, but to allow you to explore as many avenues as you choose.


The Creator

 
Jennifer Farley  

Friday, March 13, 2026

Believes In You




Believes In You
Post on March 13, 2026

 

When you look back on your life and the experiences you have been through; some make you laugh, others make you cry and still others have you shaking your head in awe at how you ever survived. 

Each one of these experiences was watched, guided by and lovingly supported by The Universe. You were never alone. It was beside you the whole time, loving you and knowing you would emerge a stronger, more compassionate and wiser being. 

You may not hear it often enough; The Universe believes in you and you are AMAZING! 


The Creator

 
Jennifer Farley  

Integrate & Attune


Integrate and Attune

By Kate Spreckley

March 13, 2026


We are currently navigating a period that is deep and reflective, where the boundaries between our inner and outer world are dissolving. Within this space we are being invited to step out of the familiar, and align our choices and our actions with our soul’s higher purpose. As the energies continue to reveal what needs to be released, they will also begin to show us where the energy wants to flow next. Even if we cannot yet see what it is or where it leads, there is an intuitive and instinctive pull that is redirecting us forward and will show us the way.

As we move into the weekend, there is a subtle shifting and a lightening of the heaviness of late where the shadow processing of the recent weeks transitions into a more optimistic, action oriented space. Be mindful that your physical body must now integrate and attune to the new energies and expansion that is flowing through your system. While you may still feel the pull of old patterns, or the fog of mercury in retrograde, you are being urged to persevere with self-awareness, recognizing the immense progress you have made thus far even when the path ahead remains uncertain.

Remember that true growth is not just an internal experience, it must be reflected in your choices, your relationships, and how you interact with the world. Use this weekend to ensure your new expansion is rooted in awareness. Allow the quiet power of your intuition to guide you as you continue to confront the unknown and step into your emerging future. As you navigate transition, be gentle with yourself. The process of merging your human experience with your soul’s wisdom takes time and immense conscious presence. Trust that you are being held by the greater currents of life, and that every step no matter how small, is leading you toward a more authentic and empowered version of yourself.

Much love

Kate

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Thursday, March 12, 2026

Full Force

Post on March 12, 2026

 

Take some time and think about this; there is an accumulation of miracles in your life so subtle, so minute that you barely take notice. 

Then, at the precise moment you are ready to experience the full force of these miracles, there is a shift in your awareness, and you will often stand in awe in how you missed this before. 

My dear child, The Universe no longer needs a burning bush to get your attention. 

You are that burning bush.


The Creator

 
Jennifer Farley  

Shift Your Energy


Shift Your Energy

By Kate Spreckley

March 12, 2026


Currently, we are moving through a massive shift where truth is surfacing to set us free. As such, the incoming energy is inviting us to release and let go of what is no longer necessary for the future. We are being urged to use this time to not just let go, but to trust in the new direction life is taking us, while remembering that as we clear the old, we make room for the extraordinary.

Today is a day of revelation and emotional cleansing. You may find yourself confronting hidden patterns or outdated attachments that need to be released to create space for more authentic growth. Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy toward what you can create. Remember that real transformation happens right now, in the present. Honour where you have been while keeping your focus on the path ahead. Be patient as you continue to shed what no longer fits who you are becoming.

Much love

Kate

Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Wednesday, March 11, 2026

Love Remains

Post on March 11, 2026

 

From the beginning to the end, The Universe has been with you. When the conscious realization of this blooms in your mind, separation disappears and fear dissipates until only Love remains. 

This has always been the greatest desire for you; to know your True Self, the Divinity within and that you, a most beautiful creation, are powerful beyond measure! 


The Creator

 
Jennifer Farley  

Mastering Your Internal World


Mastering Your Internal World

By Kate Spreckley

March 10, 2026


The last few months have felt like a chaotic flood of new insights or sudden changes. We have been moving through a period where the way things have always been is collapsing faster than the new can be built. For many this has been incredibly jarring creating feelings of tension, or forced patience, as the pull between expansion and restriction has increased. Now we are having to learn how to balance the pull between outward expansion and internal reflection.

As the mental fog of the last few months begins to lift, you will finally be able to see which of your new ideas are grounded in truth and which are merely reactions to the chaos. This is a moment of real honesty where you are being asked to refine your vision, keeping the breakthroughs that align with your core purpose and discarding the distractions that no longer serve the person you have become. This requires a level of emotional self-awareness that comes from mastering your internal world. By staying centered amidst the remaining shifts, you become the bridge between the old world that is fading and the new reality you are now ready to inhabit.

Much love

Kate

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Tuesday, March 10, 2026

THE QUANTUM AWAKENING #324

Corpo da mensagem


THE QUANTUM AWAKENING #324 

By Gillian MacBeth-Louthan

Post on March 10, 2026

 

As March twirls about like the straw man caught in a dust devil, we are also dispersed about dimensionally and inter-dimensionally; with a little of us in the past, a little bit of us in the present, some scatterings in the future.  Just like humpty dumpty we too are trying to put together all the missing pieces of our soul as we try to figure out who we are in this new placement of time and circumstance and dimensional reflux.

Time-influences have been happening to Earth for millions of years pushing the life force of Earth into different placements of learning and discovery.  Time itself ebbs and flows as we all get a little nauseous trying to keep our balance thru all of these shifting sands.  We are learning ‘not to stick our hand or nose outside the vehicle of time’ as we accelerate into new creational highways and learn the new rules of the road.

As spring pushes her sweet self into every pore of our life, we feel a sense of expectancy like a young girl on her first date. We all feel a slight urgency a push forward, to accomplish that which is yet to be determined. At a deep level our inner light kicks and pokes at us from the inside out.  We look at ourselves seeing a newness that has not made its way to the surface as of yet, but still we feel the stirring waters of change deep within.

We feel compelled and driven to move out of our winter blues searching blindly for those rose tinted glasses we hid from ourselves. We are becoming seasoned in places we did not even know we were bland. Everyday life gives us another tidbit of truth to digest, an appetizer that keeps us spooning for more.

People we know and love pass from the earth leaving a little hole in our heart. Regrets pile up like laundry that needs to be tended to, as we cling to what was and what could have been. We mourn for easier times and reflect upon what once was. The minutes of the day become more precious in the celebration of life.

Time is in a circular pattern as it rounds itself up from the ‘I AM O.K. Corral. Like the very year of the snake itself it uncoils and slithers into new edges of expansion. Time gives us the gift of what we least expect. It shows us within the granular content of its gritty expression exactly what is expected of us. Like snowflakes that are birthed from 35 dimensions, this energy comes into its own power and configuration with or without you. Like one who speaks Words of Power into water and proclamations of Hope into the air.



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The Spiritual Teachings of Mucous

As we all move forward like a wild mustang in 2026 we come to a place of corralling and clearing what has gained entrance and become stuck in our emotional body, memories, past grief, and internal fears for tears. We come to place of complete clearing, a place of letting go of what is still wedged in the highways and by-ways of the body, past, present and future.

In spiritual beliefs mucus is viewed as a physical manifestation of "stuck" energy, repressed emotions, and a need for protection. It is linked to a buildup of thoughts, memories and feelings that have not been properly processed or released. When mucus is part of a cold that won't go away, it often serves as a forced "time-out." It may indicate a subconscious desire to retreat from a situation that feels overwhelming.

♥Unprocessed Grief and Sadness: Mucus and phlegm are closely associated with the lungs and respiratory system, which are tied to grief and loss. A build-up shows"internal crying" or a need to finally release long-held sorrow.

♥Mental "Congestion" and Overthinking: Metaphysically, excess mucus in the sinuses can represent being "too much in the head". It may signify a conflict between logic and intuition, or an inability to make a clear decision.

♥Repressed Anger and Irritation: sinus issues are often linked to being "annoyed with or angry at someone close".

♥Protection and Boundaries: From a symbolic viewpoint, mucus serves as a natural defense. Spiritually, it may indicate a subconscious desire to shield you from perceived attacks.

♥Spiritual Disconnection: Congestion can feel like a physical barrier to breath, It may symbolize feeling stifled, limited, or cut off from your inner wisdom. 

When mucus persists spiritual metaphysical reasons are revealed

♥Sinuses & Nose: Associated with your "sense of self" and how you perceive the world.

♥Indecision: It can symbolize mental overthinking and an inability to make a clear choice, causing energy to get "stuck" in the head.

♥Throat (Phlegm): Linked to communication and your "voice."

♥Unspoken Truths: A persistent need to clear the throat can represent holding back angry words or a feeling that you cannot express your true self.

♥Creative Block: signals a blockage in your "truth" or a resistance to following your gut instinct.

♥Lungs & Chest: Deeply tied to the breath of life and the emotion of grief.

♥Unprocessed Sadness: the lungs are seen as the "seat of grief." Persistent chest mucus may be the body trying to "cry" out old, unreleased sorrow or loss.

♥Emotional Release: Since mucus and tears are chemically similar, a "runny" cold is sometimes viewed as a physical surrogate for emotional weeping.

Spiritually, losing your sense of taste and smell during a cold is often viewed as a forced withdrawal from the external world to focus on internal disorder and healing. Literally Disconnection from "Inspiration": The word "inhale" comes from the Latin inspirare, "inspire". A blocked nose can symbolize a temporary disconnection from your spiritual "breath" or divine inspiration.

♥the sense of smell is tied to intuition, losing this sense may reflect a period where you feel unable to sniff out "toxic" situations or people in your life.

♥Losing your sense of taste can symbolize a loss of "flavor" for life. It serves as a reminder to savoring the present moment. 

♥Third-Eye Blockage: Congestion in the sinuses is sometimes associated with a blockage in the Third-Eye Chakra, which relates to clarity, wisdom, and inner vision.

The message within the above information was given to me in a very kick butt biological form that chose to show me many Soul lessons I had neglected. I thought I had cleared my energy on so many levels physical, mental, spiritual Etc but alas I had failed to clear the congestion out of my soul. I thought I had done all my soul homework but to no avail. What I have found in this very humbling biological muscous initiation for the last 10 days is that the Universe wants me to get rid of all the congestion, all the sadness, all the loss I didn't digest, I didn't mourn I didn't address.

I have found the easiest and highest aspect of creating this soul congestion is to create a bridge of light. A bridge of light from your heart space to the heart space of who or what you are intending to clear through time and space. Be it person place thing memory truth or falsehood, matters not it needs cleared. I have found the bridge of light heart clearing to be much easier than the head clearing.  Give thanks for the tiny flicker of peace in your part of the world, in your part of the heart, and in your part of the scheme of things. I give these truths from my heart to yours♥

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We all are in-between here and there,

What was and what wasn't, what is and what is not

The universe in all of her perception does its best to pad the ‘Landing field’ of experience for each of us. Not guaranteeing a soft Landing but a landing. As we all straddle the frequency of Mercury retrograde in Pisces we come to a place in between here and there, in between reality and Imagination, in between truth and fact. We are biologically and literally straddling the dark and the light, like riding a dark and light horse at once.  We as a people and planet all gallop forward to a place that seems safe of purpose, safe of light, safe of structure and foundation. The teachings of the body come quick like an Arrow's quiver in the night, showing us from the inside out what we had not cleared, what we have not dealt with, what we have not loved, released and forgiven. This emotional body teaching comes not as a punishment but as a place of renewal, a place of letting go of all that still keeps the soul stuck in emotional time.

We all are in-between here and there, what was and what wasn't, what is and what is not. We are all immobilized in so many different ways thru interloping, manipulation, just life and her tricks in general. Is this a bad thing or a good thing? Is this a biological timeout your body is asking for like overdue vacation time? Or is this a place of Deep Well holy healing, liberating the soul and the self? In this personal place of healing  that we literally baptize ourselves  with the liquid assets of  confusion.  

We all danced into this year with a bright heart and upbeat thoughts, knowing that it was a double fire horse year knowing it was about movement, knowing it was about strength and motivation and trueness to purpose. But we cannot have expectations of our outer world until we till the field of our inner world. We still refuse to look at in the totality of time mostly in the forms of old hurts wounds soul wounds injustices that we have not fully let go of. This will be totally different for each individual as they move through the inner currents of their own personal emotional Riptide.

We are seeing deeply into ourselves and soul what has not been cleared. This biological humbling which is happening to many upon on earth is not a punishment it is a spiritual timeout, a spiritual go to your room and just sleep through this part of the play. It is a refuge it is a hidden gift that ask you to go deep within and in this inward Journey lives a great explanation of self and soul. It is not until we stand in the fullness of our own personal power allowing the past and present and all dimensional influxes thru time to rotate around us simulating things yet to come.


The vibration of spring is just that, it asks you to Spring like a bunny, like a deer, across what appears to block your path on the way to sacred mountain. It asks you to spring up past the hard cold winter into the warmth of the earth heart and move upward like a spring bud towards the light. You are both a figment of time and a fragment of the future, you are the cul-de-sac of your soul where you meet all the possibilities and all aspects of who you, are who you were born to be, and who you will become


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Honoring who you are… becoming your truth

Will ease the evolution and revolution. 

Life is getting messy and pushy and very demanding.  Everything is changing and upgrading. It is demanding that you pay attention, that you listen. Like a grandmother the universe is fine-tuning your life and pulling your ear; pinching your elbow to get your full attention.  It is demanding that you listen with your heart and not your very hard human head.  The brain that has kept things secret is now is ready to speak its peace (seems some things have been redacted for your souls growth)   It is ready to kiss and tell you all about yourself.  Who are you really? You are so afraid to look at your real self; you busy yourself in relationships, in cleaning, and boring repetitive chores.  When you finally do stop, you switch completely off; you are running from the inside out.

Life is constantly giving to you.  There is a balance of give and receive, that must always be met; Gifting you small miracles that keep you afloat during the low tides of life.  As soon as the magic of the moment is seen it disappears like fog in the morning sun. It is time to stop running from your humanness.  Stop going around in circles.  Even the hamster gets dizzy going around and around. Everything in your body speaks to you.  Everything in your world speaks to you showing you just what you need at the moment.  You are who and what you are destined to be it can be no other ways. 

Honoring who you are and becoming your truth will ease the evolution and revolution.   Now it is time to relax into who you really are, how you really look, how you really smell, and how you really feel. Do not give up on what you know in your heart is right for you.  You are the visionaries, you are the prophecies, and you are the future.  You walk ahead of the pack.  Do not give up because others do not recognize you.  You are a beautiful being of Light, it is time to see that true reflection.



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EMERALD STAR-MOTHERS

Emerald is a stone of prophecy

Emerald stimulates the “high heart”

These are two of the most beautiful emerald energies I have ever seen. They are hand carved from Brazil in exquisite detail. They have been on a long journey escorting ‘the Star-Mothers ‘Star♦Stone’ Bracelet into manifestation.  the star-mothers have held the energy for them until they went full circle in their birth cycle.

The emerald is the most sacred and powerful of stones; it is the sacred stone of the Goddess Venus. It is the stone which helps one to ‘live and act from the Heart’.  Emerald can help to heal ‘heartbreak,’ teaching you to love yourself thru all of lives ups and downs.   Emerald is a stone of great vision (inner and outer). It is associated with the eyes and all types of sight.

An emerald can foretell future events and reveal deep truths. It enhances memory and increases mental clarity.  Emerald is a stone of prophecy it activates psychic abilities. They were once used as a protection against enchantment and spells.  While Emerald has a calming effect on the emotions, it has an invigorating effect on thought, reflection, and philosophy. It is a marvelous crystal for activating artistic creativity, and for bringing focus in to one’s lifework. Emerald  held for five minutes a day brings rapid recall of facts, and gives visionary insight. 

The emerald Ray represents crystallization of matter, knowledge, Healing and science. The emerald ray is the Flame of Divine Truth which is unlike earthen truth. It leads to development of ideas especially Divine designs.  Those ideas ultimately produce wisdom and light. This is the Ray of healing and manifestation of the undisturbed. In the Emerald light we recognize physical healing, perfection and Gods manifested will.

These gorgeous emerald hand carved star-mother carvings were mined and created in Minas, Brazil. The power of this lush green healing crystal stirs the soul like a spring day. They symbolize hope for the future, renewal of dreams and ‘true new beginnings’. Emeralds magnificent green-ray is a strong healer of the physical heart on every level.

Emerald lightens the heart nourishing the aura with the energy of hope, infusing the energy field with the vibration of Raphael the Archangel of Healing. Emerald heals heartbreak and gives the strength needed to overcome the plights of life. It clears away negative patterns of victimization and loss of personal power. Emerald opens the heart and provides healing to all four chambers of the heart.  From the deep dark past to the ancient future, this stone Heals with all of its heart♥ Go to www.thequantumawakening.com to see pix and prices.

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Star-Mothers ‘Star ♦ Stone’ Bracelet

The ‘Galactic Star-Mothers’ are of an interstellar-feminine frequency that is assisting woman-kind to awaken to pathways of a different possibility and a different outcome, in future pre-destined events of Earth.

Meteorites can emanate a strong vibrational sensation that stimulate the entire energy field, the Third Eye and Crown Chakra; creating a continuum, a doorway of inner and outer time, a place of  vision and visualization. Meteorite in any form is a energetic stone of major transformation.  Meteorite offers protection, provides a clear sense of direction thru all dimensions; in this teaching we learn how important it is to be present in this present dimension, as it centers us in time within our authentic self.  Star stones are cosmic catalysts yet at the same time they are instructional and protective. 

A Meteorite is a star-born creation a powerful catalyst of healing and completeness; it is a sacred talisman of awakening opening the doors and allowing one to see into their Destiny. The changes it brings can be intense and rapid. The healing will occur in all aspects of the physical body, one’s dream life and many other spiritual dimensions. This is a valuable stone for star-children and sensitive souls who find it difficult being on earth. 

Placed on the heart, meteors can uncover the reasons and purpose for why one is here on earth, and can ease the "homesickness" for the stars

A large amount of iridium, gold and olivine crystals are found in high concentrations of meteors. A meteorite is used for high-frequency energy bridging, both cosmic and earthly. Meteors are said to link Earth with other cosmic and time realms, enhancing intuition and mystical growth. They are believed to cleanse energy fields, open chakras while providing strong earth protection.

This is one magical and powerful bracelet made out of a very very rare star-stone and I am so honored to have been working with it for a couple of months. The universe directed me towards these and there is no more available. These stars stone bracelets are like no other and they have become a powerful friend and ally for me.

This bracelet is made out of Cintamani stone, also known as Chintamani or Saffordite (also called the Sirius meteorite) it is a very rare, high-vibrational tektite. This stone is known to be a wish-fulfilling jewel from legend.  Revered in Buddhist traditions as a "thought-gem" for enlightenment and manifestation, it is called the "Star Stone" or the Female Counterpart to Moldavite (which it totally displays, much more user friendly for us sensitive goddesses) . This stone can appear, smoky, or brownish-grey to the naked eye, but when held to the light (any kind of light) it looks more like luminous, smoky lavender to amber hues, just gorgeous.

This particular stone is found only in the Arizona desert, these are considered a different type of tektite formed from a meteorite impact. It is said that this particular meteorite originated outside of our solar system and does not have minerals or elements found in other meteorites. Many that have touched this meteor say it is from the star system Sirius, as they felt connected to the 3rd Star in the Sirius system which is known as Sirius C… the ‘Home of the Divine Feminine & Sacred Female’

The energy of the Sirius meteorite is soft and yet very high-frequency; it is able to penetrate every part the human body and energy field strengthening the human body's magnetic field enfolding it in a strong layer of protection. The Sirius meteorite can quickly clean the energy field setting up a higher fence of protection without anyone asking. The this meteorite has a strong effect in warding off hateful energy. This star mother ‘star stone’ Bracelet is a piece of cosmic history, formed from the collision of celestial bodies millions of years ago. This extraordinary star-stone carries with it the mystery and energy of the universes, offering a tangible connection to the cosmos that lives beyond our little world.

Tektites are small, black-to-greenish, gravel-sized bodies of natural, silica-rich glass formed on Earth during high-velocity meteorite impacts. Derived from the Greek word tektos ("melted"), these glassy objects solidified from liquid rock in the atmosphere, often forming aerodynamic shapes like spheres, dumbbells, and teardrops. Go to www.thequantumawakening.com to see pix/ prices

 

▲▲▲I found these Sirius meteorite beads several months ago and waited for a long time for them to land they must have gone on walk about. The universe directed me towards the perfect earth goddess to put these powerful stones into bracelets. These star stone bracelets’ are very well made with love and light and all the star-light in-between. If you are interested in getting powerful personalized jewelry made just for you, please contact Stacey Howard at **sbhoward221@gmail.com** or facebook Stacey Burger Howard

 

Gillian MacBeth-Louthan
 


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This Time, This Now



This Time, This Now
Post on March 10, 2026

 

You may have been feeling lately that, to advance spiritually, you will need to leave behind all that is familiar, comfortable and safe. In the past, when the consciousness level of your Earth plane was lower, that may have been true, but not today…. not in this moment.
 
Yes, there will be some people that fall away from your existence because they choose not to grow, but do not let that stop you! You manifested here, in this time and in this place to assist the raising of vibration of humankind. 

Please do not turn your back your work. You will not be left alone or abandoned because there is a multitude doing the very same thing! This time, this now is the most important thing that has ever happened and you are needed!


The Creator

 
Jennifer Farley  

Remain Receptive


Remain Receptive

By Kate Spreckley

March 10, 2026


Today marks a quiet but profound turning point with Jupiter stationing direct after being in retrograde since November. This transition shifts us from internal reflection to outward expansion where the seeds that have been growing in the dark, are finally ready to break the surface. We are urged to remain receptive and to allow the clarity we need to arrive.

Since November we have been forced to look inward at our roots and inner foundations. Now the energy shifts from questioning and reflecting to action, where we stop analyzing and start building. As such, you may feel a strong desire to move on from the past. This may require a kind of radical honesty that strips away illusions to see clearly where the old version of yourself and your life is standing in your way. It may be uncomfortable but is ultimately liberating.

Use the wisdom you've gathered to address what needs addressing, and to clear what needs to be cleared. Balance the internal fire with moments of stillness to ensure that your drive for expansion doesn’t lead to burnout. Remember that growth is certain but must be tempered with grace.

Much love

Kate

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Monday, March 9, 2026

Love, Loss, and Liberation


Love, Loss, and Liberation

By Ogun Holder

Post on March 9, 2026



Learn how grief and decolonization can lead to deeper spirituality and more fulfilling relationships.

Grief is our response to loss. It is natural, unpredictable, emotional, embodied, and life-altering. It can be overwhelming or manageable, paralyzing or liberating, and everything in between.

Navigating grief is an exercise in acceptance, surrender, and vulnerability. It is not something to be healed but a journey of healing in which the best maps and guides will never help us find our destination. There is no destination—only the journey.

During the first few years after my wife’s death in 2015, I believed grief was an opponent to be understood and conquered, like a boxer nimbly moving in the ring across from me, always evading my attempts to land an impactful blow—any blow, really—and slipping past my defenses to pummel me in ways and at times I didn’t see coming.

It was only after being repeatedly knocked down and out, after reaching physical and emotional exhaustion, after countless failed attempts to distract and numb myself—with alcohol, sex, relationships, retail therapy, and spiritual and emotional bypassing—that I finally surrendered to grief. It was only then that grief extended its hand to help me up and opened its arms to embrace me. Together we walked away from the ring, side by side, combatants turned compatriots. I had misunderstood the assignment.

The Lesson of Grief: Impermanence

My grief wasn’t only for my wife. Over the next 10 years, I lost two aunts, an uncle, two grandparents, a best friend, and my father. All these deaths changed my relationship with relationships, especially the romantic and intimate ones.

I fell in love again—more than once, actually—but in a different way. I initially thought I just didn’t care as deeply about these partners because they were not my wife. Some of them, to be honest, were a better match for me than my wife had been—at least for the person I was becoming. But there was still an unnamed detachment—a part of me that I unconsciously held back. I believed I simply did not want to feel such deep and intense pain again, so I didn’t love as fully as I had in the past.

I would eventually realize what was actually happening: Grief was guiding me to a more expansive understanding and practice of nonattachment. It’s possible I might have gotten there without all the death and grieving—I believe all have the potential to do so—but sometimes we’re given a catalyst that we didn’t know we needed.

We arrive at and live from a state of nonattachment when we embrace impermanence; when we make peace with the knowing that we could lose everything we know and love, including our own life. The Buddha said, “You only lose what you cling to.”

We could infer from his words that when we no longer hold on to anything—when we no longer possess it, no longer fixate on a desired outcome—we won’t feel the sting of loss when it’s gone. It sounds lovely on paper. It feels both inspirational and aspirational and, to be honest, absolutely inhuman and impossible. Sometimes I wonder whether the Buddha actually had friends after saying things like that. (Probably not.) The truth is, it’s all of the above. And like grief, it’s more about practice, not perfection.

Capitalism Within Relationships

While I was grieving and deepening my mindfulness practices, I was also working to decolonize myself from internalized, unconscious traits of oppressive ideologies such as capitalism, white supremacy, and patriarchy. While patriarchy’s influence on how I navigated intimate relationships was fairly obvious, I was surprised to uncover how much late-stage capitalism impacted them as well. It teaches us that life is defined by acquisition; that there is always more to gain, to hoard; that simply having enough is considered failure; that our worthiness is directly proportional to how much we have accumulated, how fast we’ve accumulated it, and how much power we can wield with it. All lies.

I realized I had been viewing my partners through the lenses of possession and transaction, with seemingly innocuous and normalized language reflecting as much: This is my spouse/girlfriend/partner—they belong to me; they owe me, and only me, certain intimacies.

The hierarchical and transactional values of capitalism kept showing up. Who is the boss in the relationship? Should I have more authority because I make more money? Am I keeping track of who does what and how much more or less? Is my partner a high-value individual (a problematic social media dating/relationship parameter mostly centered around financial success)? How much is my sense of worth related to my partner/relationship?

Of course, it’s important to be in an equitable relationship with agreements that honor the desires of all involved, along with a method of accountability and communication that’s more inviting than hostile. (I like and use the RADAR format). But it’s different when we keep score to exert control or from fear the relationship will end. Fear can lead us to acquiesce or reduce our fullness to fit into a manageable and non-threatening facsimile.

Love Without Attachment

When you hold someone you love in your arms as they gasp their final breath, impermanence stops being an abstract concept. It becomes a reality felt in every fiber of your being, so deeply intertwined with your essential self that you don’t know how to make sense of it. Over time, however, if you let it inform and transform you, you come to understand how much—and why—you grasp onto others: fear of loneliness; fear that you are broken and unlovable; fear of dying alone; fear of death itself.

If you are truly patient, you might discover that you don’t need to hold so tightly; that loving and being loved will never fully allay those fears. You might learn to love with an increasingly looser grip, until all you are holding is the space for love to bloom—or to wither—content in knowing that it, and they, were never yours to keep.

To love without attachment does not mean loving without commitment, or compassion, or kindness, or vulnerability. To love without attachment invites us into connection without control; into authenticity without anxiety; into being the fullness of who we are without fear of rejection; into knowing that love cannot exist without loss—and that love and loss both open our hearts wider than we thought possible. To love without attachment is freedom.

Ogun Holder

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