Exiting the Cycle as a Single

Exiting the Cycle as a Single

By Steve Beckow

Posted on September 8, 2023

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These conversations have been gathered together into one volume: Leaving the Cycle of Conflict available at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Leaving-the-Cycle-of-Conflict-15.pdf

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Exiting the Cycle as a Single

I’m a satisfied single … ok, a happy hermit … so I don’t have the opportunity to pursue the exit points from the cycle of conflict with anyone in the context of relationship.

I have to make changes in myself, which is probably all we need to do anyways!

So my first contribution to ending the cycle of conflict in myself is going to be:

To examine what it means to “get mad.”

There’s a trigger point on one side of which I’m not mad and on the other side of which, I am. Why is it not an easy thing for me to just rule out crossing the line?

I know why. My Dad yelled at me from inches away from my face when I was seven and I shattered …. It took fifty years to put Humpty together again. During those years, I did notice that I fused back together again when I got mad. So I came to value “getting mad.” I was myself again.

It was only the other person who didn’t like it.

So that’s where my below-consciousness embracing of “getting mad” comes from.

Now that I see that, I can let it go. On the other side of it, I feel fine embracing boundaries.

My second contribution is:

To examine what it means to take personal responsibility for my life.

Whenever I blame another person or accept blame from another person, I’m reproducing my Father’s thoughtless pattern. My Father was reproducing my Grandfather’s. I knew my Grandpa.

I need to take responsibility for the pattern and end it in me.

To take complete responsibility for my life – if not for what happens to me necessarily, but definitely for my response – that’s a goal worth aiming for. And that too, I think, would interrupt the cycle of conflict.

It’s as if we all have virtual-reality headmasks on and yet we star in each other’s holodrama. The game decides what our partners do but we decide our responses. All along it remains our virtual-reality game.

This is all my game.

Finally, I took a look to see if I’d ever discussed the subject of the cycle of conflict before and here we are in 2021 looking at my family’s:

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“From Vasanas to Scripts,” September 17, 2021, in An Ascension Ethnography at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/An-Ascension-Ethnography-11.pdf

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My family went through a cycle of conflict – mounting disagreement, then a fight, then separation, then making up, then mounting disagreement…. It went on endlessly.

My Dad really believed he was – and had to be – “the man of the house.” He could be arrogant, self-important.

When that happened my Mother invariably responded with disappointment and depression and, surprised at not getting the deference he expected, they fought.

They followed a predictable script and what’s happening for me is that, if one side of their two-handed script gets triggered, the other side comes up with it.

I saw the problem arise after I had a grumpy, irritable thought. I became depressed almost right after it. And I finally … finally recognized what was happening as something I knew well.

I’m recalling how my Dad, when he got in one of his moods, would wreck everything that stood in his path. I now know about the difficulties of his own childhood and can appreciate why he was that way. But it was no fun growing up with it.

I now see myself playing my Dad’s and Mom’s hands, sequentially. I have both inside my mind.

Previously I would have looked for layers in a single vasana – depression is one layer, say; arrogance a second. But this was clearly the family’s circular emotional process having been etched in stone in memory, rather than my own singular reaction pattern or vasana.

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“The family’s circular emotional process” is the cycle of conflict.

At the end of it all, bless Mom and Dad. They did the best they could with a pretty bad hand.

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Thank you for coming along! The subject is just starting for me and represents one of my offerings towards bringing peace to Earth.

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These conversations have been gathered together into one volume: Leaving the Cycle of Conflict available at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Leaving-the-Cycle-of-Conflict-15.pdf 

Steve Beckow

• goldenageofgaia.com/

Exiting Your Nest

Exiting Your Nest

Life Tapestry Creations
Channel: Brenda Hoffman

Posted on July 24, 2023

Dear Ones,

Perhaps you feel caged because nothing seems to be changing in your life.

You would not feel that dismay if nothing had changed within your being. What you are feeling is somewhat like infants before they crawl. Their crib or playpen begins to feel limiting, urging them from within to explore beyond their cozy nest. So it is for you even though you are likely not limited verbally, by mobility or other factors. You are free to change your life or thoughts. Nothing is stopping you, nor do you need more advice, cajoling, or fear.

Your new world is waiting for you to grasp or shift whatever you are afraid of. Of course, you think you are not afraid, but you cannot do or say something because… Limiting your actions and thoughts. “What if I make a mistake?” “What if I upset someone?” “What if I’m imagining a false new life, and the one I have is better?” “What if I lose everything?” Allowing your fears to reduce your thoughts, dreams, and actions.

Even though you do not yet know the inner workings of infants, fear or doubt is not part of their thoughts or actions. It is more about “How do I get from here to there without being able to tell someone who moves easily that I want to do the same?”

Your fear enmeshment throughout previous earth lives is the genesis of your current fears, not the action itself.

Those you care about are most likely also shifting, just not in the same way or time. But they will also say or do things that surprise you, so there is no need to contain yourself, hoping that doing so will maintain a relationship. An infant does not refuse to crawl because they fear their parent will no longer hold them. And so it is with you. You are expected to progress.

Because infants have not yet adjusted to 3D fear, their impetus is from within, just as is true for your current need to move forward. The difference is you were trained to speak, act, and shift in fear. So, your new life seems fearful even though compelling. Your previous life is known.

We of the Universes recently spoke of the domino effect. Most likely, your response is you are not yet ready to fall. And so it might be. In spite of that, you are allowed discomfort or anger about your current situation.

You are fighting with your inner being, hoping you can shift easily without letting go of what you have or think you have. Which is little different than the comfort newborns leave exiting the womb. Each time infants progress, they let go of the past with little or no remorse, trusting their inner urges. Most of you limit your inner urges because of the fears you accumulated over earth eons.

Others of you are bored, waiting impatiently for any spark of interest to ignite. You are angry, lashing out at others within your being or in more overt ways. All of which are cries for help, for answers. You are not alone; you will shift when the time is right for you. Perhaps you know of a young child who wished to drive a car. The urge was there, but not the hand/eye/stature necessary to complete that task. So it is now. You might be starting to shift to your new world or soon-to-be domino-falling experience. Even though maybe not quite yet, you will do so.

It does not matter, for you will shift. Perhaps not as you thought you wanted, but as you need internally. There are no longer mistakes. In 3D, you tested partnerships, jobs, homes, communities, and families. Going from one to another until you found the most comfortable environment or one you felt you needed. Along the way, you added to your fear library, “This isn’t right.” “This is painful.” “I don’t like this,” and on and on.

Your new world is what you do need.

In 3D, you tried to find the most comfortable or uncomfortable environment to ensure the completion of karma – or some comfort despite your fears. Fear is no longer necessary.

Your falling domino is not a step to your right place; it will be the right place, maybe not for the remainder of your current earth life, but for the immediate future. For your falling domino is about self-love. It is not a small stepping stone to something that might happen or just another painful step encouraging you to pine for what might happen.

Your falling domino is not about the carrot and the stick, as was true in your 3D lives. This inner-directed step allows you to accept all your being has to offer in this life. It is not necessarily a permanent shift but an important one so that self-love becomes your dominant theme.

Accept your boredom or anger as a rocket thrust forward. Do not fear yourself. All inner actions push you to leave the warm nest that no longer serves you. You are new with new needs, including the need to express self-love.

Allow yourself to move in any direction you feel you must, knowing that others you interact with are changing as rapidly as you. So be it.

 

Amen.

Brenda Hoffman

http://www.lifetapestrycreations.com/

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