Big Steve Writing
by Steve Beckow
Posted on February 4, 2024
This share will slightly disturb the chronology of the next two or three articles. In the growth movement, we’d call it a “red-hot share.” I acknowledge that growth work Kathleen has been doing in trauma therapy has likely played a role in my realization, below.
I’m experiencing the most amazing gradual – and sometimes sudden – transformation over here from a person whose wounded Child has been running the show for the past 78 years to a person whose Adult is now running it.
One of the sudden transformations happened this morning. Out of the blue. (1)
I’ve been looking at what “self-control” constituted or looked like. Again preparing to be a CEO.
And in the course of it, I got more and more in touch with my Adult (Big Steve, the Commander, my Higher Self). This was the gradual side of the process.
I stopped complaining; that was a big one. You can regard that as brush clearing.
I chose happiness and actually began to cultivate it. I saw that I chose my feelings just as I chose which random thoughts to go with. On and on the process of self-awareness went.
Remember: I’m on the path of awareness and love, the latter drawing me to God and the former allowing me to recognize the Mother/Father One when I see Her.
Then, this morning, I suddenly saw myself reach a point where I was about to complain – and caught myself. It was a trivial matter. But what an impact it had.
Brace yourself now because we’re about to go at lightning speed from the intellectual level through the experiential to the realizational. (2) This is a roller-coaster ride. We call this “a realization.” Here we go.
At that moment I (in my Adult consciousness state) realized that my wounded Child was at the steering wheel. And at that same moment my wounded Child also realized that it was.
This is the second time in my life that two sides of me, “unknown” to each other at an intimate level, arose at the same time and “met” in some way. (3)
And it was OK. I (the Observer) didn’t die. My light didn’t get extinguished.
My wounded Child was reassured. It’s been protecting me (the Observer) since forever from the world of “Adults.”
AND my wounded Child asked my Adult to take the wheel. All of this went on without words. And my Adult took the wheel.
This is sooooo significant because the Adult cannot forcibly take the wheel from the wounded Child. That would produce more wounding. So for the wounded Child at that moment to have handed the wheel over gladly and willingly was a blessing and I (the Observer of it all) knew it was as and when it happened. All this went on in my creative “imagination.”
I cannot overlook pointing out that this is another step in the process of reparenting myself. In this process, the growth movement has played a big role. (4)
So this is now Big Steve writing. No complaints. No drama. Just, as Jesus said, yes, yes, and no, no. (5)
Footnotes
(1) OK, OK. It undoubtedly wasn’t “out of the blue.” Some trauma therapy work Kathleen has done inspired me.
(2) I have an enlightenment team on the other side, as do you. They have a hand in deciding what happens when. See Our Enlightenment Partnership at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Our-Enlightenment-Partnership-4.pdf.
Of it the Mother said:
Steve: Now, implicit in what you are saying, Mother, is something that hasn’t been really talked about very much and that’s that the archangels or somebody else is managing our enlightenment experiences, timing, intensity.… Am I correct in that?
Divine Mother: It is a Board of Directors rather than being, “managed by.” That concept, the way that you have phrased it, dear heart, implies that you are being “managed” and that is not correct.
[Steve: It ‘d be a violation of free will.]
Now also know, and it is delightful to speak about this … the timing, the pacing (and when I say “pace,” I mean the sequential unfoldment) of an Enlightenment process is such that of course you have a guardian and usually an archangel that is working with you so that it is humanly and can we say, soul or esoterically – via your Universal Self – managed. (The Divine Mother in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Oct. 26, 2018.)
The partnership between the embodied individual and their guides and mentors resulting in enlightenment was not explored by, if it was known to, classical enlightenment theorists.
(2) “Attaining a consciousness of absolute truth is the evolutionary journey. This is what you are now ready for, practicing, and moving into. Truth begins as intellectual knowledge, but can never manifest into expression until realized.” (“The Arcturian Group via Marilyn Raffaele. January 10, 2016,” January 11, 2016, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2016/01/11/the-arcturian-group-via-marilyn-raffaele-january-10-2016/.)
See:
(3) The first time was in 1986, at Expo 86 in Vancouver. My then girlfriend said to me, “Do you know that you have the profile of an abused child?” And two sides of me, a public and a private, arose at the same time and said “Yes!” They “looked” at each other and said “Who are you?” I was explosive for two weeks after.
I realized I was dissociated. I later saw that my personality had been shattered at around age seven. It took eighteen more years to heal. The blessing of it all is that I can describe the process of healing from personality disintegration, of reparenting myself, of finding the source of love, etc.
On the reparenting process involved, see On the Constructed Self at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/On-the-Constructed-Self-5.pdf. Search on “reparenting.”
(4) Specifically, for me, Cold Mountain Institute resident fellowship, the est Training, Vipassana meditation, and enlightenment intensives.
(5) Archangel Michael and I have a prearranged signal. I just got a “blast” on the “intercom”: Yes!
Steve Beckow
