8 Phrases Fake People Use to Pretend to Be Nice

8 Phrases Fake People Use to Pretend to Be Nice

By Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted on January 30, 2024

 

There are phrases fake people use to charm you. These words can sound incredibly genuine, so it’s important to familiarize yourself with some of those statements for your own protection.

I know there are fake people worldwide, but I live in the Southern U.S., where people are especially good at charming others. The phrases fake people use here are so charismatic that you’d swear Southerners in the United States are the nicest people. And yeah, there are some nice ones, but maybe not the ones you think.

And, like I said, there are fake people everywhere, people who use all sorts of phrases to get what they want.

A few phrases fake people use

Here’s the trick. You must listen carefully to the words that come out of people’s mouths. Watch their body language and their smile. Over time, you’ll be able to distinguish the real person from the façade. The phrases that fake people use come in many forms, so here are a few examples:

1. “Bless your heart”

I’m just going to go ahead and knock this one out. “Bless your heart”, especially when coming out of a U. S. Southerner’s mouth, is coated in sarcasm. Now, some really are trying to give you warm blessings, but most of them…meh, it’s questionable.

Sometimes this phrase is used to cover up the resentment and deep disgust the fake person is feeling. I know that’s a little harsh, but trust me, I’ve been on the receiving end of this phrase one too many times. It feels like they’re patronizing you.

2. “I like the way you think”

And I think this is hilarious. The truth of the matter is that there’s a good chance that they DO NOT like the way you think. They’re being passive-aggressive, honestly. Because most people who actually like the way your mind works wouldn’t say it like that. It’s just a vague statement that leaves you feeling confused.

3. “I hate drama”

Usually, when someone states that they hate drama, they are the first ones to cause drama. And they know this. They know they are probably the reason for whatever dramatic event is happening, and they’re just trying to clear themselves of the responsibility.

You will see a clear connection between their role in certain events and their impulsive use of this phrase.

4. “I was just joking”

I encountered the fake usage of this phrase many years ago. Yes, we can all joke around with friends and poke fun at them. But here’s the thing: fake people also use this phrase to smooth over their previous offensive statements.

For example, let’s say your “friend” insults you. Well, as soon as they see that they’ve offended you, they will start proclaiming that it was a joke. Guess what? It was not a joke, and they meant every word of it.

5. “I strive to put others before myself”

If you have to just say that to someone, then you’re probably not really putting others before yourself. In fact, you’re proclaiming that you do this “good deed”, and it’s probably for attention.

So, in truth, you’re actually striving to put yourself first by talking so much about how you help people and do selfless acts. It reminds me of those people who help others and take photographs every time they do it. Does this sound familiar?

6. “Wow! That’s interesting”

People can use this statement genuinely, and it can be utilized by fake people as well. It’s normal to find other people interesting, I get that. But, many times when someone says, “That’s interesting” when you’re talking, they just want you to shut up.

They may not find what you’re talking about all that interesting and may not ask any follow-up questions either. Maybe they’re trying to be nice, but they have no interest in the conversation. Either way, they’re being fake.

7. “It’s great to see you”

At first, this seems like such a genuinely nice thing to say, right? Some phrases fake people use can be identical to what a caring person would say. So, it’s always important to look at the phrase in context with the rest of the conversation or situation.

A fake person will say this but fail to continue with a pleasant conversation. In this case, they aren’t glad to see you. They couldn’t care less. It’s almost as if they’re a robot who’s programmed to give you a generic greeting.

8. “We should hang out sometime”

If you see someone you know in public and they say this, just know it might not be genuine. It’s another one of the typical phrases fake people use.

Fake people will act like they want to spend time with you, but in truth, they’re putting on a show for everyone else. Chances are, and those chances are good, they’ll never get back in touch with you until you see them in public again.

Beware of fake people

I know some of these seem hurtful and presumptuous of me, but like I said, examine them in context. Some people are genuinely happy to see you and will find your conversation interesting.

But to be able to tell the difference between fake and genuine people, you will need discernment and experience. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to go through being hurt before you learn.

So, my wish for you today is that you can see the truth without experiencing the pain. And again, pay attention to how they act and their body language as well as what they say.

I hope this helps you filter out the fake ones.. 

Sherrie Hurd

About the author:

 

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

Staff writer at Learning Mind
Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.

Copyright © 2012-2024 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

6 Triggers for Empaths and How to Protect Yourself

6 Triggers for Empaths and How to Protect Yourself

By Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

Posted on January 7, 2024

 

 

Empaths are highly sensitive people who can tune into other people’s feelings. Often called emotional sponges, empaths feel another person’s distress as if it were their own. They can easily burn out, becoming overwhelmed as they soak up emotional baggage. But what triggers an empath? Are certain situations more likely to provoke a response than others? Here are 6 triggers for empaths.

6 Triggers for Empaths

1. Death

One of the biggest triggers for empaths is death. Losing a loved one is devastating for everyone, but death is a huge trigger for empaths, whether the empath is grieving for their own loss or supporting someone.

Some are afraid to grieve or acknowledge the loss because they fear falling into a deep depression. The worry for empaths is that they’ll tap into these all-consuming feelings of devastation and they won’t be able pull themselves out.

However, it is necessary for empaths to experience grief so they can process the feeling of loss.

2. Being misunderstood

Empaths are authentic, understanding people who value sincerity. They often open up and reveal their own vulnerabilities to help others.

Being misunderstood is triggering for empaths because they are so honest. They’re always genuine, so to be misunderstood is heartbreaking for them. They assume people know they are not putting on an act or presenting a false front.

If this is triggering for you, try re-framing the situation; for example, change the perspective of your relationship with others. Stop seeing one as the victim and the other as the villain. Once we change the energy around the situation, it allows healing to take place.

3. Fake people or situations

Another trigger for empaths is fake people. It’s why empathic people find small talk so challenging.

Empaths are self-aware and know their strengths and weaknesses. They never hide one or exaggerate the other. You rarely see empaths posting dozens of gurning selfies on social media because they don’t need to live up to the fake hype of a perfect life.

However, this expectation of presenting a false front is also triggering. There’s an unspoken pressure to conform and be inauthentic on stage. Empaths fall into this trap as they strive to fulfill others’ needs.

If you’re triggered by fake people or situations, give yourself permission to sit in the audience, quietly clapping but not being part of the performance. And don’t forget, you can leave.

4. Helplessness

Empaths have an ingrained sense of responsibility to help others; whether this is people, animals or situations. But of course, they can’t help everyone. Charity adverts asking for donations trigger empaths because they want to help end suffering. The world’s atrocities often go unnoticed by others, but not empaths.

You have finite resources and there’s only one of you. Learn to protect, develop, and use what energy you have in the right places. You do not have unlimited energy. Remember, step away when you need to.

Otherwise, you’ll burn out and be no use to anyone. I would also add, be wary of manipulators who are happy to lead a parasitic life with sensitive people like you.

5. Over-commitment/Letting people down

This trigger for empaths follows on from helplessness. In the quest to be whatever others need, empaths often over-commit and then feel a dreadful sense of guilt when they can’t deliver what they’ve promised.

Empaths will always say yes, to their own detriment. They can get lost in other people’s narratives and neglect their own needs. But empaths sometimes need help too. Likewise, an empath feels obliged to accept an invitation and hasn’t got the energy or inclination when the time comes.

This is a trigger for empaths, as they hate to disappoint people.

To overcome this, think of yourself as the protagonist in your own story, rather than a character in someone else’s. You are as valid as anyone else, and there will be times when you are the most important person and times when you take a backseat. You don’t always have to put your needs last.

6. Being called different

Many empaths are introverted, solitary people who need time and space alone to recharge their energy. They are not at their best in crowds (I mentioned small talk is difficult for them) so they’ll be reluctant to attend large gatherings. They think on a different level than everyone else.

We label people who are different weird and ostracize them. Empaths have a few close friends, rather than a wide circle of acquaintances. They are better at one-on-one conversations than flitting from person to person. It’s hard for empaths, after all, we’re all supposed to be social butterflies these days.

Perhaps you are the black sheep of your family and you’ve never understood why, but it is triggering for you. It is OK to be different. And you are not alone; there are many more people like you out there.

What to Do If Something Triggers You as an Empath?

Where does the trigger come from?

My favorite saying about empaths is ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup.’ It is important to recognize triggers for empaths and work through where they originate from. Perhaps something in your childhood makes you susceptible to certain situations, or maybe you have always been a people-pleaser?

Look after yourself

Acknowledge you feel others’ pain, and that is a wonderful gift. However, you must take time to recharge yourself. Accept there will be times you don’t have it in you to help, and you cannot help everyone, or please everyone.

What do people really want from you?

Frequently, people just want someone to listen to them. When you allow a person to verbalize their worries, they can work through them. Don’t feel you always have to come up with solutions. Appreciate that we are all on different journeys and it’s not up to you to figure out someone’s life.

If something triggers you, imagine observing at a distance and thinking objectively, rather than getting embroiled in other people’s problems.

Final Thoughts

There are many triggers for empaths, but remember, it is not your responsibility to make other people feel happy, relaxed, or comfortable. Empaths are acutely self-aware, so why not use your triggers to further your own self-development?

References:

• apa.org
• journals.sagepub.com
• wikihow.com

Janey Davies

 

 

Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

Sub-editor & staff writer at Learning Mind

Janey Davies has been published online for over 10 years. She has suffered from a panic disorder for over 30 years, which prompted her to study and receive an Honours degree in Psychology with the Open University. Janey uses the experiences of her own anxiety to offer help and advice to others dealing with mental health issues.

 

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