This conversation comes from a recent Spiritual Awareness Group.
Participant: How can I choose to see things from the observer’s mind?
It seems that you can choose either ego or Spirit. In truth, there is no choosing. It is already written. It is just what happens. The mind may see it as choosing, but there is just the appearance of choosing happening, just as there might be the appearance of a sunrise happening. The viewer would just notice that there is an apparent choosing. The choice does not affect the movie. It is a scripted part of the movie. Ego mind wants to hold on to the thought that it is choosing. Ego wants to claim that “I” am angry. In reality, there is no one to “own” that anger. There is only the appearance of anger being present. There is no judgment in this noticing. Anger is not good or bad; it is simply present. The observer feels no anger. It is only aware of the presence of anger in the movie.
Participant: I seem to be stuck here
There seems to be the appearance of stuckness here. The observer is not stuck, but only noticing the presence of stuckness.
Participant: I am worried that my observer might be laughing at me.
The observer has no reaction other than absolute love for whatever is there. The part that you think of as me, who feels separate from the One, who feels it can choose – and is therefore not doing a good job – is thinking “Why did it choose this?” The observer simply notices that there seems to be a belief in choosing; there seem to be upsetness; there seems to be stuckness.
Participant: I can be okay with that. I don’t want to just jump from this place right now because something is needed to be done here. I don’t want to go back and try to be nice. That’s not so fun.
If you could simply choose to jump from your ego and only see from the Divine Observer, you would have done that long ago. You can have the intention to do that, but you can’t make it happen because you don’t have choice. If you had choice, that would place you separate from the Divine. But you can’t be separate, so what is happening can only be perfect, part of the script that is already written. At some point it may be that in the noticing of the now the ego is just seen rather than experienced as self. That cannot be chosen because only the ego mind can pretend to choose. The noticing simply happens. There no longer is anyone there, there is just the noticing. But you can’t choose that.
Participant: Not just now.
Not at any time. It will happen when it happens.
Participant: Something feels very powerful in this.
If you have the thought that there is stuckness, and you hang on to that thought, you will likely decide there is some fault in you that maintains the feeling of stuckness. When you are aware of that, let the sense of stuckness be there as long as it is going to be there. It is perfect. There is nothing to fix. There is no effort you could make to cause the stuckness to go away.
Participant: I could sing a song. Then I’m not focused on the stuckness.
Yes and then what is apparent is the singing of the song. Will the feeling of stuckness return? Probably.
Participant: This is vey good. I like it very much.
Choice is the domain of the ego mind. As you let go of control and simply notice what is present, you are opening to the possibility of seeing through Divine eyes. If you do that to try to enable Divine seeing, you are back in the ego trap of choosing. So, you just do it when you notice and stop trying to choose, instead noticing what is present. It’s a razor’s edge you are walking. I mean let’s get serious. Is the ego really going to choose to give up its control by truly allowing you to choose Spirit? That would be suicide. The ego is a survivor and a very clever one. Choice is not a choice; it is a subterfuge. Every choice affirms the reality of the ego. Its disappearance requires not choosing. The best you can hope to do is to notice what is going on without following any of the threads.
Participant: But I do know that this is all an ego game. I know that it will probably eventually go over to something else, but I guess that right now I need to be in it.
This is such a humorous thing – perhaps more humorous from this perspective than from yours – but whatever you decide you want to do; you can’t possibly do. All that is left is to give up trying. But you can’t try to give up trying. Finally, you get so exhausted from trying and failing that you just give up trying.
Participant: But sometimes I’m able to walk or sit quietly or sing and my mind comes down.
Yes, but what you have then is a calmer ego driven person, but still not awake. Not that this a bad thing. Being calm might be more enjoyable, but the balancing dualistic energy will eventually surface. Watching from the viewer is not about being calm or distressed. It is noticing what is present without identifying that as self. There is no self. There are no techniques for taking you to that place. If anything, it may be necessary to let go of all techniques, but that can become its own technique.
Participant: Just now, this is what I needed.
The perfect thing is always here. If you try to understand why it is perfect, you are back in the ego mind. You will never understand.
Participant: Then I could be grateful that this is what it is…and not a heart attack.
That would be perfect, too (much laughing). It would be what is there. If you have the thought that awakening means feeling fine all of the time, which you think you might be able to do if you let yourself just find and practice the right things consistently, you may, as I said, find yourself as a mostly satisfied sleeping person. You will, however, still believe yourself to be your “self“, separate from the One. What is transpiring for an individual or for the world in general has no identification for the Divine Viewer. Happiness or sadness may be present, but it makes no difference. There is nobody there experiencing this. There is something magnetic for the searcher in having a practice, but eventually the practice doesn’t deliver. So, you try another and then another until perhaps you crumble into hopelessness.
Participant: I am tired of techniques. I just want to be.
Notice that that is all you can ever do. Just to be. You cannot stop being. You cannot make yourself be. You are. Any technique is simply a diversion from noticing the isness of everything. So, we are back to this razor’s edge of having no techniques without that becoming a technique. Everything is perfect as it is. Nothing to change and nobody there to make a change. There is just what is, Divinely inspired. You can’t change anything, but you might be aware of the desire for change. You can’t make yourself accept what is here, but you might notice that the desire to do so is present.
Participant: I have the thought that coming to this group is a holy thing to do, that it will support my spiritual goals. This morning I didn’t feel very holy so I thought I shouldn’t come.
Sorry, but there is nothing holy here. This is like Walpurgis night in Sweden (a holiday celebrated on the last day of April where people make fires and burn whatever has accumulated over the dark period of the year). You come here to release things, not to get anything. There is nothing to get. You already have it. Your job is not to be or feel holy, but to take out and burn the trash. So please! Bring us your garbage. Of course, you don’t need to come here to throw out the trash. You can do that at home. There is nothing holy about this or any other place, or it could be said that every place is holy. There is only holiness. That is all there is. You are also not here because you chose to be here.
Participant: It is not my choice to be here? You mean in this body?
Well, yes that too, but to be here in this room now. That is just a belief of the ego mind. It might be more accurate to say that you are here because the universe has chosen for you to be here. It might be most accurate to say that you here because you are here. You can play the game of believing that you are choosing things, but did you choose to become aware of this group? Even when you might think that you decided to be here today, it was the universe that provided you with a ride. The universe could have caused the car not to start or there might have been an accident on route. You could have been too sick to get out of bed or you could have listened to the voice that said you weren’t holy enough to be here today. The universe wanted you here. It is a fool’s task for you to wonder why you were wanted here. It is just yours to be here and notice what is here before you. On the other hand, you may notice that there is nurturance here for this seemingly separated being. That nurturance is also here for the group member who did not appear today. The universe wanted him elsewhere, even though he might be beating himself up for believing that he created not being present. There is nothing wrong or right about attending or not attending. There just is what is.
Participant: Yes, I do think it is good to be here. Good to have support in seeing things from another side.
If you allow yourself to notice when you think you are choosing or when you find yourself feeling negative emotions that you wish were not taking place, if you decide to then reverse the process – good luck with that. You cannot choose that or anything else. At the same time, within the imaginary realms of past and future, which don’t exist yet feel so real to choosing part of you that believes you have a whole story of connected events that led you to being where you are now, there is just the isness of this moment. There is no past or future; there is just the isness, the being of what is here in this moment from the vertical perspective. There is just what is being observed. Nothing else. It certainly cannot slow down this illusory process of becoming the Observer to be more aware of when you think you are the chooser, but if you are doing it to try get “there”, there is nowhere to get, and you are spinning your imaginary wheels. But that doesn’t mean not to do it, if doing it is what is here right now. What is being noticed is that there is resistance to what is here now. What is going on right now is that “I” think that I am this body, and “I” is being used to identify that body. Can that identification be changed right now? No, that is just what appears to be happening. All that is really happening is the noticing that this appears to be going on. Thinking you are the body does not make you the body. Thinking that you are not the body does not stop you from believing you are. Thinking doesn’t do anything. There is no you to be or not be the body. There is just the seeing, just the being.
Participant: That’s good. Good enough.
Or bad enough (laughs all around). This noticing that there is no chooser, there is only the Divine watching can only come upon one who believes in their separated self. There is no chooser so it cannot be chosen. This Divine Watcher has no idea what is coming next. Everything is being viewed for the first time. How could that not be thrilling? This creation is only Love. Everything is seen through these eyes of Love. This does not mean that pain won’t seem to be present, but it will not be owned or possessed by the Viewer who can possess nothing, Who is not there but only Is. Like everything else in the illusion, pain will appear and then disappear. Pain is not good or bad; it is simply what is on the screen now. Ego mind wants to hang on to the exhilaration of the positive experience, but that can only be accompanied by the pain of the fall. The Viewer owns neither. Ego mind is destined to a seeming eternity of up and down. It wants to hold on to the up and it fails, adding insult to injury. Meanwhile there is just Life, Oneness, Divinity. There is no up and down, no judgment, no separation, no guilt, no suffering. The ego mind really believes that it is responsible, that it is in control and can handle things. But it absolutely is not and cannot be. It has no idea that everything filling that mind comes from someplace other than Divinity.
Participant: But isn’t it the human state to seek happiness and avoid pain?
The deeper truth is that the human desire is to go home, and the belief is that something must be done to get there. For some the belief is that seeking happiness will bring them home. For others, the belief may be that pain and deprivation will lead them home. Spirit says that you are home; you never left. The ego mind can never see this, but the Observer’s eye does. Sooner or later the ego mind gets tired of trying.
Participant: I’m tired already.
Wonderful! (laughter) How successful have you been so far in manifesting what you wish to create in your life? That must be exhausting! You can stop trying. Your true nature is Oneness. You are Oneness playing the game of twoness. Is the game always fun? Not from the ego mind, not from the perception of twoness. From Oneness, from the Observer it is neither fun nor not fun; it simply is and all that simply is is Divine, is Love. But in absolute Oneness there is no experience. There is no movie. There is no sunset. There is no storm. There is no pain. There is no sweetness. There is no orgasm. So, Oneness can have the experience of these sensations through this movie. Every moment of the movie is glorious to the Observer.
Participant: How can the Observer experience yet not be a part of what is happening?
The Observer watches without projection. This Watcher does not pretend that It is the person being observed. There is no story, no history. Nothing is held on to. There is no future. There is just the Divine moment. Pain, for example to the ego mind, is connected with past ideas of blame and guilt, and with fears of the future. For the Observer pain is just a particular sensation in the Divine now. Nothing lasts. Everything changes. Nothing is held on to. Everything is noticed. The Observer notices the pain is present but is not identified with it. Again, these are just words and cannot approximate the actual experience of not seeing through the ego’s eyes. You call this twoness “me”, but where is this “me”? Who is “me”? The twoness is “me-ing” while the Oneness is “be ing”. “Me-ing” always has questions. “Be-ing” knows, but not in words.
Good Now
