Casting Down a Lack of Self-Confidence

Casting Down a Lack of Self-Confidence

by Steve Beckow

Posted on July 29, 2023

 

Yes!

Things are moving through me at such a rate that I may have to resort to posting notes if I’m to journal my own Ascension, as I agreed with Michael and the Mother to do.  (1)

Only if I write these things down will I remember them.

Never mind what I ate for breakfast. Right now I can’t remember if I had breakfast. I’m forced to live in the moment.

In this last moment, I just cast down a lack of self-confidence. In the middle of being outraged at feeling that way this late in the game, I invoked the Law of Elimination and the Divine Mother and cast a lack of self-confidence away from me with a resounding “Yes!” – and a thank you to my guides.

I don’t for a minute overlook the role of the Company of Heaven likely plays in such a move. I have every faith that they took me at my word and removed it.

Michael was quite candid about anchoring in a different clearing experience I had, demonstrating right there the role the celestials and the Mother play in our spiritual experiences:

Steve: The experience I had last night where I went back to age six before all the fighting started in my family [and drove a stake into the ground, pushing away all the bad stuff since then], is that going to produce a permanent effect or is it going to just pass again like so many other things?

Archangel Michael: No, it is not simply going to pass. It has been a true and deep transformation, release, but also what has been happening is that you have made the decision, and that is part of what has triggered all this, to anchor that release. So sometimes there are events or releases that are not fully embraced, can we say? Therefore they are not anchored in the permanency of your field.

But you have chosen, and we have anchored the permanency of this situation to be gone. (2)

“We have anchored the permanency of this situation” – where in any enlightenment text will you read that the celestials – in this case, the archangels – participate in everything to do with our spiritual experiences? And yet this generation (us) is getting this information.

Getting back to the experience itself, I put nothing in place of the space I created by letting go of the tale of family woe. For me, this isn’t about filling up the space. It’s about emptying it. It’s about creating it.

I am space, after all. Intelligent, loving space.

***

I notice that other things went with it. I think all my life I’ve had a certain belligerence, which is most noticeable in the range of my voice. I lived down among the growls.

My voice has been freed up now. Of course its remaining freed up depends on me not resuming being (a leftover from dissociation) un-self-confident. (3)

My voice is still in the same range because I probably always will be a serious person (non-fiction, don’t waste time, married to his work, etc.) but there’s no hook in it now. It’s just who I am, not who I’m pretending to be.

I also notice that other things go with self-confidence. I’ve noticed how many situations lately can be solved by my being humble. If I feel self-confident, I don’t need constant affirmation. I can yield, give way.

A friend just about caused a fire. In the right/wrong world, I was perfectly justified to scold and prance up and down as a person who would never make that kind of mistake (at least, not recently).

Instead I found myself able to remain quiet and calm, clean up the mess, and later replace what was destroyed.  How many years have I spent in the other world of charge and counter-charge, attack-and-defend? How grateful am I even to feel as if I’m on more dry land now.

Footnotes

(1) I agreed to ascend with everyone else and, as Everyman, write about it:

Archangel Michael: There is much to be said for Everyman, and that is part of the role you play. Yes, you are a pillar. You are an anchor. You’re [a monitor] but you’re also playing the role of Everyman – with curiosity, with exploration, with insight. So our desire is not to separate you from the collective. (Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Nov. 11, 2015.) (Hereafter AAM.)

We’re all angels. What Michael says about me could also potentially be said about anyone else. See An Explosion in the Meaning of Humanness at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/An-Explosion-in-the-Meaning-of-Humanness-12.pdf

(2) AAM, May 9, 2014.

(3) I dissociated at age 7 when my Dad yelled at me from inches in front of my face. I shattered into a thousand pieces; hence the Humpty Dumpty Man, as I thought of myself later in life.

This casting down of a lack of self-confidence is another stage in the Humpty Dumpty Man’s recovery from dissociation.

See “From the Humpty Dumpty Man to Here: Completing the Fear of Being Wrong,” June 5, 2019, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2019/06/05/300939/

Steve Beckow

• https://goldenageofgaia.com/

My Relationship to Anger is Changing

My Relationship to Anger is Changing

By Steve Beckow

Posted on July 15, 2023

 

 

As the love energies increase on the planet, my relationship to anger is changing.

The background is that my Dad shouted at me from inches in front of my face at age 7. My personality shattered. That bent the twig and the tree inclined in the direction of dissociation – for another 50 years – and anger.

Dissociation meant I had no sense of myself. In the journey back, years later, I saw that I had a public and a private self and that they had never met. When they met, at age 40, I went off like a volcano for around two weeks. (1) Definitely toxic. Nobody to be around.

The fact that I was a house divided was not a pleasant experience and I sought ways out of it. Not like I knew exactly what “it” was for years and years.

Karate was one such way. I discovered that I was such a fearsome-looking fighter that no one in the dojo wanted to come near me.

I attracted violence on the street, in the subway, even in the classroom, so aggressive were my vibes.

In fact when a fight was pending, I preferred to cut to the chase and dispense with the words. Let’s get on with it.

I liked anger. It had distinct advantages over being defenseless in my household.

Now my Dad could never come within five feet of me or I’d make him regret it.

A big plus was that I fused back together again temporarily whenever I got angry. I felt powerful again, strong, my self, etc. So I’ve grown up all these years seeing anger as my friend and as the place I’m more than happy to end up in.

Well, now, as the Reval looms, and with it very large duties, anger becomes a liability. And the vasanas (or core issues) behind the anger are an even greater liability. (2) The whole thing becomes what I called the other day a “vulnerability,” “fatal flaw,” or “Achilles’ heel.” (3)

Our channeled sources tell us often that the rising love energies are going to raise to the surface all our vasanas. There’s nothing hid that shall not be known – before we ascend, I imagine.

The hid shall be made known to us, not to the readers of the New York Times. The rising energies are forcing our remaining issues to the surface, in my opinion. But Ascension is a private and individual process … errr, unless writing about it is part of your soul contract.

Especially since I realized the true context in which I’m operating – a co-creative partner with Archangel Michael, something we can all be  – changes have been happening. None are more dramatic than the fact that, when I feel angry, I don’t like the way I feel any more.

I have thoughts like: Anger has brought most of the sorrow into my life. The rest has been brought in by hatred, jealousy, greed, and all the rest, but anger is the big one.

At the same time, I can’t now dissociate from my angry self. That’ll recreate the problem. I have to have it walk with me and talk with me. I have to get to know it, understand how it got to be angry, and love it out of its despondency.

I already know that anger has no place in the higher dimensions. It isn’t that it has no place because it’s taboo. It has no place because the love the flows there, like the air here, lifts us up to such a level that no harmful thoughts (1) can arise, (2) do arise, and (3) would ever arise.

So anger was my friend and still is. But now it’s mine to bring back into the fold and into the center.  Mine to inform that the war is over. Mission accomplished. Come join the banquet with the rest of us.

Footnotes

(1) My then-girlfriend said to me on the fairgrounds of Expo 86, “Do you know you have the profile of an abused child?” And both my private and public selves came forward at the same time to say, “Yes!” It was as if they looked at each other and said, “Who are you?” I then knew I had split off from myself.  It took eighteen more years for me to fuse back together again (at age 58).

Eleven more years and I had the heart opening. This completely revolutionized my life. I could say that my life really only started at age 69.

(2) VAH-sa-nas. A Vedantic term for the seeds of future action or karma. What we do today returns to us. I use it to mean the complex of conclusions and decisions arising from earlier traumatic incidents that influence – and sometimes determine – present-day behavior.

See Vasanas: Preparing For Ascension by Clearing Old Issues at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Vasanas-Preparing-for-Ascension-R3.pdf

(3) “For Humanitarian Philanthropists: An Example of an Achilles’ Heel,” July 11, 2023, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2023/07/11/for-humanitarian-philanthropists-an-example-of-an-achilles-heel/.

 

Steve Beckow

• https://goldenageofgaia.com/