Showing posts with label decision-making. Show all posts
Showing posts with label decision-making. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 19, 2025

Pain

Pain

The Great Quantum Transition

By Lev

Posted on February 19, 2025
 
 


The death of a child… is it a punishment or a lesson for parents and non-embodied Soul? Even knowing about our multidimensionality, the meaning and goals of incarnations we have passed through, to us, by our 3D consciousness, the loss of own kid is a huge tragedy. But is this always the case? Below are excerpts from the chat about this problem with the Guardian on the example of Mrs. N.

THE QUESTION: Why she got so terrible lesson in the absence of actual reasons? Did N.’s Soul deserve such an ordeal and grief?

ANSWER: You misunderstand the term “deserve”, the concept of guilt. Once again, you forget that everything is experience and Souls’ emotions in decision-making are not the same with which you take them here, on Earth. Through physical and mental pain, vibrations increase and boost change, upgrading. What you consider unhappiness, we perceive as an impetus to development and Spiritual growth.

Q: Emotions are given to us so that we can work through them. The person who did nothing wrong in this case was punished with a heaviest life blow.

A: What makes you think she was punished?

Q: The death and loss of her child looks like punishment. We were told earlier that the decision was made at the level of Souls and Higher Selves. I’d like to understand why?

A: In our take, no one deserves to be punished and no one has any so-called “sins”. “Punishment, good, bad, loss, hurt” – all of these things disintegrate a person. When you learn how to apply what we give you in life, you will realize that no one is inflicted with a penalty. Each incarnation has a specific program, and to fulfill it, everyone got free will and choice freedom. Yes, things constantly alter, but in turning moments, only the Higher Self makes decisions for your Spiritual growth, and the perception of events as bad according to the principle of “why” is deeply erroneous from the beginning.

Everything is given not “because of”, but “for something”, and always aimed at the Soul’s further strengthening through a certain experience and emotional outbursts. No one is chastened for anything. The causal relationships that you call karma impact on in a different way. Majority has already worked it out.

Q: But what is the point of losing Mrs. N’s child, then?

A: In this case, the child’s Soul, as well as the Souls of the parents, initially agreed on the possibility of such an outcome after the kid’s incarnation. The key word is the possibility, and NOT the guaranteed success. The fact is that N’s Soul in many embodiments had not evolved and stopped at the third stage out of ten. This could have been overcome by conscious inner work or through trauma.

For example, a kid grows up when he falls off a bike or gets burned. Yes, it hurts, but this is a learning and integral part of life that teaches him in the future to be more careful, attentive and responsible for his actions. No one is punished by this pain, it is simply part of the choices made – getting on a bike that is too big and fast, sticking fingers in boiling water or touching hot stove, etc.

You can teach a child not to fall or get burned in theory, but this doesn’t work without practice, because the kid’s mind is inquisitive and wants to explore this world by itself. This is how the main aspects of the creator and creation manifest in him – curiosity, openness to experimentation and the search for his own answers. In this search, pain is both a response to exceeding one’s capabilities and needs, and an incentive for growth. Of course, the pain can be avoided, but not everything happens as wanted.

Similarly, young Souls who are striving to move on the next level of their evolution, enter worlds like 3D Earth, undergo growing up through various types of pain – the pain of separation from parents, the pain of physical body maturing, the pain of first unrequited love, and so on. All this is part of the incarnation program, and it’s impossible to bypass that if the aim is to get a full and rich experience.

In the case of N., she had to develop certain understandings and energy intensity that would allow her to bring the child’s Soul into the world in compliance with true potential of both. It unfolds with the growing together with a kid’s Soul. This upgrade can be independent and based on the knowing not to stick fingers in scalding boiling water unnecessarily. Or it can be stimulated by terrible loss, as it happened with her.

She is aware that her behavior in many years was far from conscious and correct. If previously, she took risks solely for herself, then now, she has no right to do the same for both by a unilateral decision. Not only because these risks are unjustified. They significantly reduce her vitality that won’t allow the child’s Soul to harmoniously enter the physical body and reveal self the way his Soul desires.

Q: What risks are we talking about?

A: Booze, smoking, hazardous driving habits, disregard for own body, flirting with “magical” energies and entities beyond her comprehension, and a couple more things, about which she perfectly knows. There were many incentives to stop and not stick fingers anywhere, but she didn’t hear them.

Q: What kind, for example?

A: Three car accidents, the loss of an ex-husband, health and business, for instance.

Q: Well, then, how could she get pregnant this time?

A: She was given a chance that desired so fervently. The Higher Self guides and prompts, but the personality always decides for self, because has free will. The child’s Soul was ready to incarnate, but when it became clear that N. can’t give him the life he needs, the kid left your dimension.

Q: Did your trust run out in the middle of pregnancy?

A: Yes.

Q: Why?

A: Because she took too many risks for both again.

Q: Has her timeline changed?

A: Initially there were several of them. This is always the case at key starting points. In one timeline, she could have given birth to a child with heavy disability, which would have been even more shocking. But it was decided not to do it, in the hope that next time she would be more responsible as a mom. In another timeline, she could have become more conscious, more energy-intensive, and perfectly cope. All of these and some other vectors were planned in advance, but the crucial point at the starting point was the sequence of her choices.

Q: So, the child’s Soul decided to incarnate, but had to refuse because the mother wasn’t ready to bear such responsibility?

A: Yes. This option was one of the main ones, although undesirable. As I said, N. behaved that reckless way in many lives, and we hoped that now she would more conscious, but it didn’t happen.

Q: What will this behavior cause in the future?

A: Much more pain. Today, she faces two choices: to care herself and future children or to sink even lower into burning out own life. We cannot intervene in her decisions, but believe that she will choose the first option.

Q: What will happen with the second one?

A: The extinction of the psyche and the destruction of the body. Slow or fast, depends on her.

Q: What will bring the first option?

A: Full revitalizing, rebirth from the ashes, a new beginning. She reached the higher vibrational level, but can’t keep it, because does not have sufficient energy and determination. She needed an extra charge to break through her own jam-ups, and now she got it, but we don’t know what she will do next. It may help to upgrade or lead to a complete collapse, which will still be followed by a reboot and new chances for growth. Her pain was caused by her deeds and the child’s decision not to incarnate in adverse circumstances.

Q: So, at the level of the Higher Selves, will no one impose or condemn anything?

A: No, they won’t. For all Souls involved, this is just one potential scenario.

Q: What is the role of the father here?

A: Her husband could have had more influence on her to reduce the risks, but it’s too late to talk about this now. He can still ease the pain sharing it with her, and give wife support, love and understanding. His inner strength is sufficient to keep the situation under control. Some Souls go through all possible pains before making the right decisions. Others only need to burn themselves once to avoid putting their fingers in boiling water again. And although she repeated it many times, he can make that new “burn” decisive and final.

Q: Has he been with her in other lives?

A: Yes, they have changed their roles many times, if to look at it from our level.

Q: What happens to them in other timelines?

A: It’s unimportant. For them, the only thing that matters is what happens here, in this reality.

Q: Will she be able to get pregnant again?

A: Yes, as soon as she gets over this trauma and recovers. She needs to live it through and cry it out. We’re helping, but she has to let go of the situation, draw conclusions, and make a CHOICE.

Q: What is the best way for her to give birth next time? She wanted to do it at home in the water, without hospitals or obstetricians.

A: This is one of the great risks that may be, but far from the only one. You call it a quest. For her, this is part of a life quest, walking on thin ice to see how much we really help her. Such behavior is too presumptuous in her situation and with the amount of energy she is now able to contain to offset the consequences of dangerous choices. She can give birth anywhere, having all necessary things nearby for quick response in an unforeseen situation. But it’s impossible to predict how her body and baby will react to childbirth stress, so all options must be considered. Maximum caution, respect for life and minimum risks are required.

Q: Are there any other risk factors?

A: She knows about them, we give her warnings during her sleep.

Q: For example?

A: For example, giving up alcohol and tobacco as well as being reckless. It directly impacts the speed of falling or returning to life, fading or healing.

Q: What experience did the child’s Soul gain from this situation?

A: The experience of not being born. This is the first time for it, and most likely the last one.

Q: Does he feel pain or bitterness about it?

A: No, it’s just an interesting experience for him. Not quite successful, but also not critical, no pain and bitterness. He is very grateful for it.

Q: Is it worth giving N. this information?

A: It’s not worth it yet. She needs time to recover from the trauma and cope. Give this info to her husband. He knows better how to bring it to her little by little in a language she understands.

Q: Can she talk to the kid’s Soul?

A: Yes, they communicate all the time. The connection is not lost and won’t be lost, but her psychological state will not allow her to make full contact in the near future.

Q: What kind of karma burden does N. assume in this case?

A: She does not take any karma burden, only the burden of responsibility and pain, which will subside with a new pregnancy. No one judges or punishes.

Q: Will the same Soul come in the next pregnancy?

A: It is not decided yet. The kid’s Monad has many manifestation bodies, and each wants to get an experience on Earth. With which parents is considered each time in a special way.

Q: Does the child’s Soul want to convey something to N.?

A: Yes. “Everything will be fine, don’t worry. I love you and I’m not offended. Don’t blame yourself.”

Q: How can she not blame herself after this?

A: The feeling of guilt is self-condemnation for something that can no longer be changed. It is an extremely destructive emotion and energy, inherent in the worlds and beings of your dimension. But it’s an excellent breeding ground for the growth of the Spirit, if to draw the right conclusions. In our dimension, guilt and condemnation don’t exist, because we see them differently, like you, on the Soul’s level. But 3D feelings and logic prevent you from recalling and realizing this.

Q: Recall what?

A: That in the higher dimensions, from which your Souls came, there is no guilt and resentment, no crimes and punishments, no victims and executioners. There are only roles that you play, scenarios that you write yourself, and experiences that are more or less favorable for individual and collective evolution.

You come to the physical world to gain this experience. And you can’t be offended by yourself, by the Creator, or by us for your choices and the consequences they lead to. When you forgive yourself for an experience that you consider yourself guilty of, you release a huge amount of energy to continue growing and expanding your capabilities. It couldn’t have been any other way, because that was how you chose to grow up, even though it meant getting burned and crashing against the ground. But from the ashes, you reborn again and again, like a Phoenix. That’s the power of your Spark. It may dim and change the glow, but they never goes out. Remember that.

Lev

My note: Reading this week report of independent journalist Benjamin Fulford will help better understand this article: https://purple-rays.blogspot.com/2025/02/its-us-space-force-versus-isis-as.html 

Saturday, July 29, 2023

19 Subtle Signs of Gaslighting Most People Ignore (But Shouldn’t)

19 Subtle Signs of Gaslighting Most People Ignore (But Shouldn’t)

By Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

Posted on July 29, 2023



Gaslighting has become the buzzword of the last decade. Most of us can state the obvious signs; deliberate isolation, demeaning behavior, making you doubt your memory, and second-guessing yourself. So, are there subtle signs of gaslighting?

Gaslighting is an insidious way of controlling someone, but it doesn’t start with obvious behavior. If it did, we’d spot it immediately and ditch the abuser.

For gaslighting to be truly effective, it must be subtle at first. A gaslighter will cross small lines to begin with; ones you may not even notice. Only then will they bring out the big guns. Being able to spot the less obvious signs now can save you from a toxic relationship in the future.


19 Subtle Signs of Gaslighting


1. Putting down important people in your life.


Manipulators know they have a better chance of controlling someone once isolated. However, if your partner suddenly asked you to stop seeing the important people in your life, you’d push against them.

Instead, they’ll start badmouthing your family or best friends. They’ll tell you that someone is a bad influence on you and perhaps you shouldn’t spend so much time with them. You don’t need people like that around you, they only bring you down. That you are better than them.


2. Being incapable of decision-making, then complaining about your choices.

Isn’t it annoying when someone won’t make a decision and then complains about the ones you make? Why do people do this?

There are several reasons; it’s a way of undermining your confidence and it is how manipulators shift the blame from themselves to others. Refusing to decide on a course of action and then moaning about your decision is a sneaky way of making you doubt yourself.


3. Changing their mind constantly and expecting you to keep up with them.

One of the more subtle signs of gaslighting is when someone constantly changes their mind. This is designed to make you doubt yourself. You question your memory.

When someone keeps changing their mind, it’s the equivalent of having the rug pulled from underneath your feet. You don’t know where you stand, literally. Moreover, it makes you anxious about future events.


4. Initially liking something about you then after a while putting you down about it.


Before I dated one guy, he would tell me how much he liked my outgoing and friendly nature. When we dated, he would get into a bad mood if I looked at or talked to another man. He would accuse me of having affairs, of eyeing up guys, and frequently would call me a slag. What he liked about me, in the beginning, he hated once we dated.


5. Implying you’re overreacting to a situation they’ve created.


This is classic gaslighting behavior, but it will start off subtly. The gaslighter will accuse you of being over-sensitive. You can’t take a joke. They’ll tell you to relax or chill out. You are the only person upset in these situations.

But you know how you feel. If only one person is accusing you of being overly sensitive, this is a subtle sign of gaslighting.


6. Telling you ‘They’re just being honest’ when talking about your faults.

Aren’t you fed up with people who use phrases like ‘I’m just being honest’ or ‘I’m only telling it like it is’? This sort of behavior winds me up especially when I haven’t asked for advice.

This potential gaslighter does not have your best interests at heart. Here’s an idea, try bringing up one of their faults and see how they react. Then tell them ‘Hey, I’m just being honest’.


7. Bad-mouthing you to their friends and family behind your back.

I had a friend once; we called her BS Sue. She would shower you with attention when you were with her. She became my best friend. Then I noticed my other friends dropping off the radar or acting weird whenever I saw them.

Turns out, BS Sue was telling lies about me and alienating me from my other friends. Look out for changes with friends and family members. This could be one of the more subtle signs of gaslighting you haven’t considered.


8. Being over-the-top friendly to someone in your presence then hating them behind their back.

You might not relate this to one of the subtle signs of gaslighting, but it’s also a good way to judge character. You can tell if someone has integrity or not by the way they speak about them when they’re not around. But this is not just about integrity.

Acting one way and then behaving in another makes you feel off balance. You cannot trust what they’re saying from one moment to the next? How do you know when they’re telling the truth? You don’t, and that’s the point.


9. Claiming not to remember something hurtful about you they’d said in the past.


This subtle sign of gaslighting makes you question your recollection. Do you remember the situation correctly? Did this person say that? Perhaps you are overreacting or misremembering. You’re confused, which is exactly what the gaslighter wants.


10. Suggesting you should do something out of your comfort zone and then berating you for being negative.

I have a friend who learned to drive an automatic car. She wasn’t a confident driver, so an automatic suited her. Her boyfriend at the time kept pressurizing her to learn in a manual. She didn’t want to. He bought her a manual car to learn in, even though she didn’t ask or want to learn in one. That manual car sat on their drive as a constant reminder of how useless she was.

If you don’t want to do something, that’s up to you.


11. Constantly making promises and never keeping them.


This is another subtle gaslighting sign you might not immediately associate with manipulation. For example, some people are always late; that’s just who they are. However, if they mean to be on time, they’ll apologize for their lateness.

Making promises and never keeping them keeps you on edge. Are they going to turn up? Will they pay the bills this month? Can they keep their job this time?


12. Using your mental or physical problems to lower your self-esteem.

Mental health or physical problems are like catnip to a manipulator. They use your problems to goad, berate, or degrade you. Constant belittling lowers your self-esteem, making it easier for them to control you.


13. Saying they didn’t intend to upset you.

This is a little like the ‘I’m only being honest’ subtle sign of gaslighting. It’s a way of getting away with saying or doing something that does upset you.

You know when people say things like ‘No disrespect but…’ and then say something disrespectful? Of course, they intended to upset you; they just didn’t want you to argue about it.


14. If they apologize, they say ‘I’m sorry you feel that way.’


An apology that isn’t an apology. If someone is genuinely sorry, they’ll take responsibility for their actions. Saying they’re sorry for the way you feel leaves them unaccountable.


15. Arbitrarily withholding affection for no obvious reason.

It’s so disheartening when a partner rejects you when you go to them for a kiss or hug, but what a great way to lower someone’s esteem!

Fear of rejection can go back to childhood. It’s triggering for some people. The rejecting person can dismiss your reaction by explaining it away. For example, they have a headache, they’re tired, they’re concentrating on work, etc. You come across as a nagging, whiny, sad sap.


16. Lying about small things that don’t matter.

Lying about inconsequential things is an effective but one of the more subtle signs of gaslighting. You never know where you are with this person. They’ll deny the truth even when presented with the facts.


17. Changing the subject abruptly and projecting their faults onto you.

You’ll find that they quickly change the subject when a gaslighter is running out of lies. Watch out for replies like

“Oh I haven’t got time for this nonsense” or “I’ve got more important things to do”.

If they really want to get out of the situation, they’ll turn it around and accuse you of what you’re asking them to explain.


18. Leaves your text messages on ‘read’ but doesn’t reply.

This is one of the more modern subtle signs of gaslighting. It’s frustrating when you know a person has read your message but hasn’t answered it for hours or even days.

However, it’s also a genius passive-aggressive technique. Manipulators will lie and say they haven’t seen your message or that you shouldn’t be so needy; they’ll answer when they can fit you in.


19. Uses ambiguous language and then berates you for not understanding what they meant.

The final example of my subtle signs of gaslighting is vague language. Gaslighters deliberately use ambiguous language to confuse you or make you feel uncertain. Their aim is to make you feel crazy or over-sensitive. You question your memory or second-guess yourself.


Final Thoughts

I said at the start, if gaslighting was obvious, we’d recognize it and run a mile. It must start off subtly to be effective. Hopefully, you’ll be able to spot the subtle signs of gaslighting before you get drawn into the manipulator’s web.

References:

Janey Davies


Sub-editor & staff writer at Learning Mind
Janey Davies has been published online for over 10 years. She has suffered from a panic disorder for over 30 years, which prompted her to study and receive an Honours degree in Psychology with the Open University. Janey uses the experiences of her own anxiety to offer help and advice to others dealing with mental health issues.

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