My dearest brothers and sisters,
This is Tunia speaking. I love you so very much.
Times are still challenging for many people on your world. I empathize very much with your plight. However, things should slowly start improving relatively soon, although there might be a few scary events before that.
Today I would like to talk about connection. Having a connection with someone else means that you feel seen and understood by them. They feel emotionally safe. Having a connection can also mean that you can do fun activities with them, or that you can ask them for a conversation or a hug or for help if you are in distress.
Feeling connected to other people is absolutely critical for many people. Many people are not able to be fully psychologically healthy without it. In fact, humans are meant to be in constant telepathic and mind-reading contact with each other. We understand that most of you aren’t able to do that yet, but this does illustrate that close connection is important.
In previous generations, a child’s grandparents might be living in the same house as them. Often children would have a community around them, not of an anonymous billion people, but of a relatively small number of people who they can get to know. Children also more often had both parents. One reason why so many people feel lost nowadays is that they often grew up with less connection in their life than their grandparents did.
We expect and hope that in the future, human living will be more community-focused again, and will have fewer people living in a million-people city where no one really knows anyone else. Some people are already designing a new, more community-focused way of structuring society. Michael Tellinger’s One Small Town initiative is one such example.
There are a lot of people out there who are starved for connection. If you feel called, you can help a lot of people if you can work to address that. For example, you can create events where people can get to know each other in an emotionally safe way and perhaps do a fun activity together, or just discuss a certain topic. You could also become a professional cuddler — yes, that is a job that exists.
Many people try to fill the void left by a lack of connection, either through social media or through following internet personalities or by having a lot of casual sex). But those things are like eating junkfood when you have a nutrient deficiency.
Now I love casual sex, but I have sex because I love sex. I don’t use casual sex to meet my need for connection. If I want connection, then I spend more time with family or friends. Or if I want to connect with myself, I spend time feeling my emotions. If I was an Earth human woman and wanted to connect to myself, I also might spend time journalling.
It is also important to be in connection with yourself. If parts of you really don’t want you to do something, then if at all possible, please don’t bulldoze those parts. Listen to them, because they’re you and no one else is going to stand up for them.
Another good practice is occasionally just saying or thinking: “my belly, how are you doing?” Whichever answer immediately arises is the answer from your belly. You can do the same with your heart, with your throat, with your penis or vagina, with your crown chakra, with your inner child or children et cetera. This helps you connect with yourself. That is important — most people are in fact not connected to themselves.
Many people are disconnected from their own inner pain and trauma, and from their own wounded parts. If people are not ready or unwilling to start their healing and integration process, they can sometimes be hostile to or cold towards or angry towards people who subconsciously remind them of their own inner pain. For example, if two people are in a relationship, and if one is actively working on resolving their childhood wounds, but the other person is at that time unwilling or unable to resolve their childhood wounds, then the second person will likely become cold or distant or hostile towards the person who is doing their inner work. This is because the second person experiences subconscious pain or fear, because the first person is bringing up those painful or scary topics. Likely this second person will at some point break up with the first person, and the stated reason will be something completely different from the actual reason, namely that the work that the other person is doing is reminding them of their own pain.
Most people will give lip service to the idea that healing your emotional wounds is valuable, but most people are not willing to actually do that, unless it can be done in say half an hour. Well, most emotional wounds cannot be fully healed in half an hour.
Let’s discuss another kind of disconnection. Most people are also disconnected from whatever political group they dislike. How does that work? Well, they often don’t feel that this group understands them (which is usually true). But they also often don’t actually understand this disliked political group, contrary to what they might think. This is evidenced by the fact that most people are unable to argue for the point of view of their disliked political group, in such a way that people of the disliked political group would agree with.
One way that helps me feel compassion and understanding for other people, even people who I think are wrong and are behaving in a way that is harmful to others, is to realize that these people are often in a lot of psychological pain. This is a safe bet, because most people on Earth are in a lot of psychological pain — so much, in fact, that most are suppressing it. But well, how can you judge or feel resentment against someone who is in a lot of psychological pain? They need love and healing, not people telling them they are wrong.
That said, your own political side probably also is in a lot of psychological pain and could use love and healing. Frankly, if we look at US politics, then neither side is very spiritually advanced. Spiritually advanced people are so few that they are not a big, commonly known mainstream movement.
Most men nowadays also feel disconnected from most women, and this is entirely understandable. Most women have no idea what life is like for an average man (when they picture a man’s life, what they usually picture is the life of an unusually privileged, handsome, rich or successful man; or they picture the life of a man who lives immorally). Not all, but a whole lot of women out there also aren’t willing to lift a finger to help an unknown average man, while they are expecting unknown men to help them and to change their behavior in ways that benefit women overall.
One of the things that still needs to be resolved before Earth humans can enter their love-based society is that women should resolve their pain, anger, fear, hatred, trauma and resistance towards men and masculinity.
And sure, men shouldn’t assault women or be tyrannical, I agree, but well, any reasonable person already accepts those statements as being true. The vast majority of men don’t do those things. And it’s not fair to be hostile towards someone just because they happen to have been born with a penis. There’s even systemic discrimination against men, such as in family court, or in fact in courts in general, or because more women go to university and yet there are still more women-only scholarships than men-only scholarships. There are also plenty of places nowadays that will hire women over men, which is simply discrimination and sexism against men. This is not equality — note that even though less men attend university than women, no one is trying to introduce male quotas or male-only scholarships at university. In 2023 we still have sexism and systemic discrimination, we’re just doing it in the other direction. Which isn’t fair, and which will not lead to healing or justice or to a love-based society.
The road of: “let’s not lift a finger to help men, until there is no man anymore who behaves poorly” doesn’t lead to a happy place. Believe me.
Women quotas should be abolished. If that means that fewer women than men reach top positions, so be it. In fact, an equal and fair society will have more men than women at top positions, because men are just inherently far more likely to dedicate their entire life to their job or to their chosen field. This is true both in your society as well as in ours. Meanwhile women are inherently far more likely to choose to lead more balanced lives, spending more time socializing with others, spending more time exploring different hobbies, spending more time with their children, et cetera. Frankly I think women are making the wiser choice here, but yes, someone who spends their entire life focused on one job will likely be better at that job than someone who chooses a more balanced life. Which means that if you choose people based on competence, then yes, the very top positions will have more men than women. This is how it should be, because men and women simply have a slightly different psychology. It’s not that men and women are the same, only one has a penis and the other has a vagina. Men and women genuinely are different, including psychologically. And no, this isn’t just cultural differences.
I’ll use Hakann as an example here because he has become a personal friend, and hence I know his situation. Hakann is a commander, not because some sexist man at the top chose him over an equally qualified woman. It’s because he simply works harder than just about anything else. Even during non-crisis times he voluntarily works about 40 hours during every Earth day, which he can do because he’s able to be in multiple places at once. If he worked any harder than he currently does, I and a couple of other people would literally hold an intervention and ask him to slow down. There is simply no Pleiadian woman in the military field who has been willing to work 40 hours every day for as long as Hakann has. And partly because of this, there is no Pleiadian woman who could do Hakann’s job better than he can. So yes, I am happy that Hakann is in charge of some portion of our military, and I am not bothered by the fact that there are more men than women in high positions in our military. In fact, I very much benefit from the fact that a bunch of our men are willing to work unbelievably hard in their chosen field. Whenever I meet someone in a high position, I often thank him or her for their service and hard work, because I know that they are working very hard and very competently for the benefit of everyone in our society. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t be in a high position in the first place.
Now I get that not everyone on your world reaches high positions due to merit and hard work. However, the solution to this situation is to try to be as fair as possible. That means: just hire the most qualified and hard-working person, whether that is a man or woman. If that means more men reach high positions, so be it.
Unfortunately, back on Earth, any man who says that society should treat men better is immediately deplatformed. Therefore men can’t really say that. It will have to be women that speak out against society’s, and women’s, coldness and indifference towards average men and their issues and their suffering. Women of course have the right to refuse to do this, but if they do, it will be very hard or impossible to build this new love-based society. Because how can you have a love-based society if one half of the population is fine with systemic discrimination against the other half?
It’s also not nearly as true that men are cold towards women, or aren’t connected to women and their needs. Men are perfectly aware that women feel that they are assaulted too often, that they feel that they are discriminated against in the workplace and in particular in high positions, that they feel that society and often husbands unfairly expects them to work and also care for the kids and do too much of the work at home, that they don’t feel supported enough, that they feel that house prices and study costs and healthcare costs are too high, that women feel that there are few good men available and that women worry about certain social and global issues and about certain political leaders and about perceived unfairness or perceived radical or unsafe people. Of course these are generalizations, but men pretty much know what issues most women feel they have, and lots of men are trying to do their part to help with this. Yes, some men aren’t doing their part, but you can’t punish all men for the actions of a few men..
Conversely, the average woman doesn’t have an accurate idea of what the average man wants. In fact, the average man barely knows how he would like society to change to benefit men, because average men know that no one cares about their opinion and hence they often haven’t even considered how they would like society to change to help them out.
If you want to build a new love-based society, then it will be necessary for women to start caring about what average men want and need, and to spend some energy actually helping out average men and not just giving lip service to that idea, just as women expect men to spend some energy to help out women. It will indirectly help not just men but also women a lot if women re-establish their connection with average men in general, and not just with only a handful of individual men. It’s not healthy for women to walk around with the idea that most men are thrash, except for a few specific individuals.
That said, there’s good news here too. The good news is: the vast majority of men just want to work together with women to build a society that’s good for everyone. The vast majority of men aren’t looking to dominate women, or to get revenge at them, or to fight them, or anything like that. Yes, some men do want to keep women down, but that’s not even close to the majority.
The majority of men think that women are great, as they already are, and they don’t think women are incomplete or insufficient or not good enough or like they need to change. A lot of Earth women don’t actually feel good enough, deep down. My beautiful sisters, I so wish that you could see yourself through the eyes of an average Earth man. You would see that you are good enough, as you are. You are so much more beautiful and courageous and radiant than you may realize. You don’t need to accomplish anything in the outside world to become good enough or to become worthy of love. You already are those things.
So, my wish for today is that you may find connection with other people, that you may find connection with yourself, and that you may heal the things that lead to disconnection between you and certain groups of other people. Realizing that other people are suffering can be a good key to letting go of judgement and disconnection, and to love them instead. Because even if a person is lost and confused, doesn’t a person who is in pain deserve love?
With love,
