5 Ways to Listen to Your Body

5 Ways to Listen to Your Body

By Julie Peters

Posted on August 16, 2025

Your body is part of you for your entire life. Are you listening to what it’s asking of you?

Do you listen to your body? Do you attend to its needs moment to moment, or do you find ways to suppress those signals so you can get through your day? What does it really mean, anyway, to “listen” to the body?

Listening to the body is a powerful practice of reclaiming our bodies—and our whole selves—from the daily grind of all the things we have to do, whether it’s for other people, for work, or for systems that we participate in but don’t have control over, like capitalism. Our world is generally set up to benefit those of us who don’t listen to our bodies: people who use caffeine or other substances to stay awake and stay productive; who eat according to diets prescribed by someone else; whose productivity does not change in the dark, cold winter or the bright, hot summer. Sometimes it’s easy to feel like we’d be better off as robots instead of the human animals we are.

People who ignore their bodies for the sake of productivity, expectations, thinness, people-pleasing, making money, or whatever else our culture tells us is important will get along like that for a while, but there’s a great risk of collapse. When we consistently ignore our bodies’ needs, we can get sick, either acutely or chronically. Yet we live in a world where we often can’t take a rest day when we need one, are unable to choose to work more hours when daylight is long and fewer hours when it is short, and cannot attend to the needs and whims of the “soft animal of our bodies,” as Mary Oliver called them. We must negotiate the needs of this world with the needs of our bodies.

One thing that may help is knowing that the practice of listening to the body is valuable in and of itself, even if you don’t do what the body is asking for. Taking the time to slow down and tune in to the itchiness around our eyes when we are tired, the sudden low mood when we haven’t eaten in a while, or the intense longing for our bed during the dark days of January matters—even if we can’t attend to those urges right away. Becoming aware that we feel tired, even if we can’t pass out in the middle of the workday, still matters. Acknowledging the body’s needs could inspire a different choice later, like going to bed a little earlier or saying no to an additional project we know we don’t have time for if we’re also going to rest.

Mindfulness Meditation

One way to listen to the body is through mindfulness meditation. All this entails is slowing down and quieting ourselves enough to notice how we feel physically. Our minds can be very good at overriding signals from the body through busyness and anxiety, giving us so many things to worry about that we don’t stop to feel ourselves feeling. When we do, it’s very helpful to step back from analyzing and judging what we feel and simply notice: a weight on our shoulders; a tenderness around our heart; a buzzing behind the eyes like there’s too much on our mind.

When we practice mindfulness consistently, we open ourselves to learning the language of the body, which is not verbal or intellectual but based in sensations and sometimes images. At first, it can be like hearing a word from a language we don’t know, just a collection of strange sounds without meaning. But with time and repetition, we start to put together context clues. For example, I notice that when my left eye twitches, I’ve spent too much time with Kevin from Accounting. Or when my feet feel swollen and hot, the only thing that helps is a gentle yoga class.

The simple practice of learning the language of your body is individual and personal; a practice of intimacy with yourself. But there are a few keys that can help decode these messages, and when you can find ways to attend to the needs your body is signaling, you can improve your overall health, wellness, immune and hormone function—and, yes, even productivity at work.

Cyclical Awareness

One way to help decode messages from the body is to think about how our bodies tend to respond to the seasons, the weather, and the cycles of the moon. This is easy to remember because it’s so intuitive, and there are easy correspondences to keep in mind.

Spring, waxing moon, follicular phase, and the morning: These are times when energy is growing. This is the best time to exercise, get things done, and take action on projects we’ve been working on.

Summer, full moon, ovulation, and midday: These are peak times, and while in some cases that means we have peak energy, it’s actually a good time to pause and look at what we’ve been doing, and maybe take a rest. Imagine climbing a mountain: When you get to the top, you need to sit down and enjoy the view and take in the fruits of your labor rather than rush to get back down again.

Fall, waning moon, luteal phase, and the afternoon and evening: Energy is waning, and it’s a time to wrap up, integrate, and prepare for rest. Integrate lessons, edit, polish, reconsider, and finish things.

Winter, new moon, menstrual phase, and nighttime: Rest! Stop, pause, slow down, and don’t do so much. Sleep more if you can. Pause projects if that’s possible. Dream, imagine, feel—but don’t do.

When we attend to these cyclic realities, we will tend to already be aligned with what our bodies want to do. We may notice rewards in that way: more energy, more focus and productivity, more stable moods, all which may help us work with our bodies instead of against them.

Attuning to Parts of the Body

The language of the body tends to be metaphorical. We have plenty of cliches in our language about the body and emotional meaning that are actually pretty accurate. Here are some examples:

• Headaches: Is there a lot on your mind?

• Shoulder pain: Are you carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders?

• Neck pain: Is someone or something being a pain in your neck?

• Lower back pain: Are you bending over backwards for someone?

Think about the function of the body that’s impaired. Is it a part of the body that filters or digests? Does it help you communicate or express yourself, or does it allow you to move? What actions does this impairment prevent you from doing, or what actions does it force you to do instead? There’s very useful information in these answers about how you might need to rebalance.

Self-Consent

Consent is the concept that you are doing (or not doing) something with someone’s permission. If you consider your body as an entity that can consent, ask yourself what you are doing that your body might be saying no to, as well as what it might be saying yes to. Treat your body like a good friend whose thoughts, feelings, and comfort you care about, and consider asking for its consent before you partake in a certain activity. You might be surprised at how much information there is at the ready.

When your body asks for a need to be met—relieving yourself, eating, having a nap, putting on lip balm—meet that need as best you can. Take a moment to notice the slight settling in your body when a need it has been asking for has been met. This is a simple practice you can do to get in touch with your body, to ally yourself with it with gentleness and care.

Negotiating the Body with Life and Work

Of course, we can’t do everything the body requests of us. Sometimes the body has conflicting needs at the same time, like when you need to get more sleep but also have to get out of bed to go pee. We also have other responsibilities in life—obviously, we can’t nap the moment we feel tired in the middle of a meeting. But we can become more aware of our bodies’ needs and find ways to meet them in small or large ways.

To live a life that allows for listening to the body, we need consistent quiet time to allow for slowness. That could look like meditation, journaling, quiet walks, or more space between appointments. Sometimes we need to reprioritize or ask for help so we’re not taking on too much and can have space to attend to our bodies. It can feel really difficult, even countercultural, to do this at first. But it will benefit the only relationship that will be with you until death: your relationship with your body.

Julie Peters

• https://www.spiritualityhealth.com/ways-to-listen-to-your-body

The Spiritual Meaning of Confusion

Spiritual Meaning of Confusion

By Julie Peters

Posted on July 16, 2025

Confused about a decision? Parts of you may be at odds. Dive into the spiritual meaning of confusion.

We all experience a passing moment of confusion, not quite grasping a concept or idea, from time to time. But confusion can also be a state of mind—an ongoing feeling that the world simply doesn’t make sense. It may arise whenever we think about a particular situation or relationship, and we may get stuck there, not knowing which way to turn. So, we mentally retreat and focus on something else, avoiding the issue altogether.

We all know what it feels like to feel uncertain or upside down. But what is confusion, exactly? And what is the spiritual meaning of being confused?

Cognitive Dissonance

Confusion is, essentially, the cognitive dissonance that arises when two conflicting ideas battle within us. This is different than simply failing to understand something. Confusion typically happens not when we are missing information, but that the information we are getting clashes with a previously held belief, understanding, or experience.

In my counseling practice, we often work somatically to explore what feelings and body sensations come up around a certain issue. This often includes getting to know individual parts of oneself that react to an issue in different ways. For example, part of me wants to quit my job and go back to school, but another part fears losing stability.

The experience of confusion can be quite heady—we tend to feel it around the head and upper body, like a constantly moving cloud spinning in all directions. It prevents us from dropping down into the lower body, which is often where we really feel our feelings.

Confusion, then, functions similarly to anxiety (and they can certainly coexist). Like anxiety, confusion pulls us up into our minds, making us focus on thoughts, ideas, and questions, which in turns spirals fear. We feel uncomfortable when we are confused because there is a core emotion wanting to be felt underneath all that thinking, but our system has already decided it would be unsafe for us to feel that feeling. Confusion prevents us from taking action, keeping us in a state of hesitation to protect us from making a choice where we could get hurt.

Self-Protection

Our systems tend to prioritize safety above everything else. But sometimes our unconscious ideas about what safety means are outdated. For example, as children, we may have thought we would generally be safer by staying quiet. But as adults, we know we need to speak up if we are going to get our needs met. So, we may discover that part of our confusion comes from a place that’s working on old information. Sometimes becoming consciously aware of that can be enough to cut through the confusion.

Not too long ago, I was trying to decide whether to start preparing for something on the horizon for me or wait a little longer. Every time I thought about the decision, I could only feel confusion and couldn’t take a single step forward. When I took a little time with the sensations, thoughts, and feelings around what was going on, I noticed two conflicting parts: One part of me likes to prepare because it helps ease my anxiety. The other part, however, feared that preparing would make this coming event more real, which would spike the anxiety that preparation was trying to soothe. These two parts could not agree on how to keep me safe from pain, so they held me in confusion instead, preventing me from being able to take any action at all.

This realization didn’t quite shift me out of confusion and into action, but it did help me better understand how my system—my ecosystem of selves—was trying to protect me from hurt and pain. I was able to find compassion for my vulnerability and fear and empathize with my conflicting parts. With that empathy came gentleness and patience. It was as if I’d had a foot on the brake and the accelerator at the same time, and I was able to simply ease up on both. I did need a little more time before I could start preparing, and when it was the right time to do so, I was able to start without too much struggle.

A Need for Honesty About Our Feelings

There’s also an incredible power in allowing ourselves to be honest about how we really feel. We might assume that when we admit we feel a certain way—frustrated with a partner, for example, or unsure if we want to finish a degree program—we will have to act on it immediately, even if we’re not ready. But that’s not the case.

When we can honestly acknowledge what we’re feeling, we can discover that we have choices. The part of us that wants to stay in a relationship or job might be competing against the part of us that is struggling, ensuring we get stuck in confusion. But if we can take an honest look at each part at play, we can shift out of confusion and become empowered to make decisions that will bring us clarity and improve our lives for the better.

Julie Peters

• https://www.spiritualityhealth.com/spiritual-meaning-confusion

The Spiritual Meaning of Eye Issues

The Spiritual Meaning of Eye Issues

By Julie Peters

Posted on February 13, 2025

When issues arise with the eyes and our vision, we may want to consider how we are “seeing” things and ourselves.

Vision changes are common enough, especially as we age or during major hormonal changes, like with pregnancy. We can also get styes, dry eyes, cysts, and all kinds of other issues in and around our eyes. Of course, it’s a good idea to talk to your doctor, ophthalmologist, or other healthcare practitioner to address any eye issues directly, but let’s also think about the spiritual meaning of issues surrounding the eyes.

Clear Seeing

The eyes are the organs through which we see and perceive the world. When issues come up with the eyes, we may want to consider how we are “seeing” things.

• Is something happening in your life or in the world that has confused the sense you make of the world around you, the way you “see” things?

• Has your perception changed or been changing about yourself, the people around you, or the world?

• Is there something you are not seeing that you want to see?

• Is there something you’ve seen that you wish you hadn’t?

• What do you spend most of your time looking at?

• What is your relationship like with whatever it is you spend most of your time looking at?

The Sixth Chakra

In the Hindu chakra system, the eyes are connected to the sixth chakra, ajna, which is located between and just above the eyes, in the location of the metaphorical third eye. This is the energy center related to seeing, both inwardly and outwardly. It represents our intuition—our ability to know and understand the world literally as well as intuitively. One of the best ways to support the sixth chakra is to sit in meditation, allowing your mind to quiet enough that you can see, hear, and feel inwardly.

• Do you feel connected to your intuition, your inner knowing that comes from a non-rational place?

• Have you been ignoring your intuition about something?

• Does your intuition feel confused by fear, trauma, or unhelpful inner narratives?

• Did something happen that completely confused your intuition?

• Do you ever get quiet enough to be able to listen to your intuition, or are you too busy to pay attention?

Overvaluing Logic

Seeing is related to a very masculine, rational, logical way of knowing. We trust what we see with our own eyes, sometimes to the detriment of other forms of knowing. Knowing with touch, smell, taste, and other subtler forms of perception are often more related to the feminine—the unseen powers of the universe. When we over-focus on seeing at the cost of knowing, we may be privileging logic over intuition and, by extension, masculine energy over feminine energy.

• What happens when you close your eyes?

• How connected are you to what you are feeling—both to emotion and your other senses?

• If you were to close your eyes to the world for a little while, what might you feel, sense, or know differently?

• Do you tend to overthink problems without pausing to feel into them?

• Do you move ahead with something because it “makes sense” even if it doesn’t feel right to you?

• Do you honor your other forms of knowing beyond thinking, logic, and analysis?

• Do you have internalized gender bias, especially around things like rationality, logic, and intuition?

Seeing Out Versus Seeing In

We see out of the eyes, but the eyes are also a prominent part of our faces, which is what others see. Especially if there is a stye, cyst, lump, or some other visual change to your eye, you may want to think about how you are perceived as well as how you are perceiving.

• How do you feel about yourself at this moment?

• Do you feel that you are worthy of love, care, and attention, just as you are?

• Do you fear that there is something about your inner or outer self that makes you less worthy of attention?

• Do you feel your outer appearance matches who you are and how you feel on the inside?

• Is there something you would like to communicate to the outside world about yourself? Something you feel others don’t see or understand about you?

The Eyes as a Method of Connection

One of the simplest, quickest ways we make connections with other people is through eye contact. So much information can be expressed through the micro-expressions of the eyes. When we look into each other’s eyes and take the time to listen and hear, we can feel “seen” and connected with each other in important ways.

• Do you feel seen, understood, and connected with?

• Is there someone you’d like to feel more connected with?

• Are you lonely?

• Do you look others in the eye, willing and able to see their truth as you reveal your own? Or do you shy away from seeing and being seen completely?

• Does intimacy instigate fear or anxiety?

The Need for Tears

Especially if your eyes are dry or if you have blockages like styes or cysts, your eyes might have a buildup of tears.

• Is there something you haven’t been grieving completely?

• Is there an unresolved sadness in your life, even if it’s from a long time ago?

• Is there something happening in your life that is hard to accept or understand?

• Have you been crying enough? Or too much?

Notice how these questions resonate for you and use them to ask your body what wisdom it is holding through the symptoms it is showing. Remember that your body is always on your side, always trying to bring you back to balance (even if it doesn’t feel that way!). Consider helping your body rebalance by attending to spiritual and emotional concerns. Along with any medical advice you might need to follow, your eyes might just start to feel better.

Julie Peters

• https://www.spiritualityhealth.com/spiritual-meaning-eye-issues

What If the Meaning of Life Is in the Body?

What If the Meaning of Life Is in the Body?

By Julie Peters

Posted on January 6, 2025

How would your day-to-day life change if you knew your sole purpose in this life was to be in your body well?

The meaning of life is a big concept, of course, and no one has ever been able to satisfactorily answer what, exactly, it is. And yet many of us still wonder what it is we’re doing here, what our purpose is, and what we must accomplish during the short time we have on Earth.

Some believe we should pray, connect with God, and join with divinity. Others believe we must follow the rules of a religion to have a good life. Some of us believe there is no meaning; we’re just here following our animal instincts. From other perspectives, our higher self has some plan for us—but we don’t ever get to find out what the plan is.

What if the meaning of life was a little simpler than all that? What if the meaning of life is being in a body well?

Discovering Your “Spark” Through Lived Experience

The Pixar movie Soul addresses this very question through an exploration of death, the afterlife, and the before-life, when we are souls getting ready to come down to Earth and begin our lives. In the movie, Joe Gardner is a musician who finds himself suddenly dead on the very day he’s supposed to play jazz with his hero. He connects with a soul named 22 in the before-life who has no interest at all in becoming alive, and the two scheme to get Joe back into his body and allow 22 to avoid having to go through the bother of living a life.

The two work to help 22 find her “spark,” which is the inspiration with which she will live her life on Earth (so that she can give it to Joe). The two spend a lot of time trying to figure out what a “spark” actually is. Joe is sure his is jazz music, while 22 has never felt interested in any of the mundane tasks of human life. Through a series of hijinks, the two end up on Earth, with 22 inhabiting Joe’s body and Joe stuck for a little while in the body of a cat. While in Joe’s body, 22 experiences things she couldn’t in the before-life that introduce her to concepts like music, art, performance, and so on. She gets to eat pizza. She walks and feels the breeze from a subway vent. She collects a maple seed pirouetting from a tree. She listens to music, feeling the rhythm with a body she’d never had before. And, sure enough, she finds her spark.

The movie carefully avoids defining the meaning of life, but there is a moment in the movie when the beings of the before-life explain that our purpose is not about having a particular “thing” to accomplish. It’s more about the desire to experience life on Earth, in a body.

The Meaning of Life as Experiencing Your Body

Some people are so sure they know the purpose of life that they devote their entire existence to worship through abstinence. They don’t drink, barely eat, and never have sex. Most of their time is spent in deep contemplation and meditation. What if one of these people made it to the afterlife expecting a great reward, only to discover they’d gotten it completely wrong and needed to go back and try again? What if the meaning of life is about experiencing rather than denying your body?

There are plenty of theories about what happens before and after life, but the one thing we know for sure is that we have some limited amount of time to exist in a body. Even if our consciousness continues in some heaven-like place, it’s without a body that can feel pleasure or suffering. If we are reborn into endless new lives, we only get this body, this life, once.

Emotions are physical, after all. Big emotions like sadness, joy, and rage are fundamentally physical. We may have thoughts about them, but they are called feelings because we feel them. Whatever we can think or judge or imagine about our before-lives and afterlives, we likely can’t feel them.

There is a funny moment in Soul when Joe and 22 are experimenting with the different theoretical experiences that could help 22 find her spark. They come across a piece of theoretical pizza. They try to eat it, but they can’t smell or taste it, and when they put it in their mouths, the piece of pizza pops, fully formed, right back out of their behinds. They can experience almost any theoretical reality in the before-life, but they can’t smell, taste, or touch anything. These are the gifts we can only have during the short time when we exist within a body.

So, what if our work here is not so much about changing the world or leaving some type of mark, but simply experiencing the world? Having empathy, connection, loss, grief, joy, and pain? How would your day-to-day life change if you knew your sole purpose in this life was to be in your body well?

Julie Peters

• https://www.spiritualityhealth.com/meaning-of-life-the-body

How Helpful Is Plant Medicine for Pain and Mental Health?

How Helpful Is Plant Medicine for Pain and Mental Health?

By Julie Peters

Posted on November 18, 2024

Many people report that plant medicines have helped ease their pain, anxiety, and depression. But it’s important not to see sacred plant medicines as “magic pills.” Explore more about the history and potential of plant medicines.

Plant medicines have been used for generations in many cultures to heal mental and physical health issues. When talk therapy was not an option (and before it existed), spirituality often met that need, helping people put their problems into a larger context to find hope and faith. Plant medicines have often assisted with that journey.

An Introduction to Plant Medicine

Medicines like ayahuasca and psilocybin mushrooms are known for their ability to bring on hallucinations. When these kinds of plant medicines are given in a ritual context, which usually includes guidance, safe boundaries, and trained sober guides, those hallucinations can spark useful insights and open the mind to seeing things in a different way.

Many people report that these plant medicine experiences help them by easing their pain, resolving health issues, calming anxiety, and dissipating depression, among other self-reported benefits.

While the benefits of plant medicines may be eye-catching, it’s important to note that both ayahuasca and psilocybin mushrooms are federally illegal in the US. (Ayahuasca is only legally utilized by a handful of “ayahuasca churches,” and psilocybin mushrooms are either legal or decriminalized in only Colorado, Oregon, and a handful of cities in other states.) Where these medicines are legal, it is important to do one’s research on the plant medicine retreats or treatments being offered and to consult with a trusted healthcare practitioner as you do your research.

A Therapist’s Perspective on Plant Medicine

In my experience as a counseling therapist who incorporates work with both the body and the imagination into her practice, it is incredibly helpful to be able to address mental health concerns in non-mental ways. The mind is very useful, but it can also get stuck in trauma-based patterns. To resolve trauma, I find we need to be able to talk to the body, the nervous system, and sometimes the spirit in order to really make movement toward change. One way to do this is through working with images and symbols, which plant medicines can help to bring to the surface.

I don’t personally use plant medicines in my practice—any therapist who does should be specifically trained to do so in a legal context. But I’ve also found that the kinds of insights and shifts that are experienced during plant medicine ceremonies can also be accessed through the imagination alone when we are properly guided. When we stop trying so hard to analyze and judge what’s happening to us and allow the body to share its wisdom, we can have major insights without needing to partake in plant medicine.

At the same time, it’s not easy for everyone to access their inner world. Sometimes we have defense mechanisms in place within us that help us feel safe. Many of us feel better in the realm of thought than the wild world of the spirit or the body. Plant medicines could lower inhibitions enough for someone to be able to access this wisdom without having to work so hard or struggle with old defensive patterns.

There’s also nothing wrong with needing a little help to create change in the ways we want to. Human beings don’t live in a vacuum, and we cannot expect someone to get better through willpower alone. Medication, food, lifestyle changes, therapy, and plant medicines are all examples of interventions that have the capacity to help us get better and live happier lives when utilized legally and with a skillful practitioner.

The Possibilities of Microdosing

Psychedelics could also be helpful in small doses that don’t induce hallucinations. Some people have been experimenting with microdosing psychedelic substances to see if the effects are helpful for mental health. This is theoretically a gentler, subtler way of working with plant medicines to assist with improving mental health.

Microdosing means taking a very small amount of a psychedelic, usually psilocybin or LSD (though LSD is a synthetic compound and not a plant medicine), on a semi-regular basis. This sub-hallucinogenic or sub-perceptual dose is intended to be used alongside a regular routine of life and work with the intention of subtly improving mood, empathy, and pain perception.

People who try microdosing are reporting lots of benefits, including improved focus, more regular menstrual cycles, more creativity, and more empathy. Some people also report more sensitivity and heightened emotions, which can be either a positive or negative effect depending on the person.

Side effects are generally minimal, especially with psilocybin. LSD can sometimes bring on anxiety, and too high a dose of psilocybin could cause an unwanted hallucination. Both drugs could also theoretically affect heart rate. The biggest risks at this point are the legal restrictions around such medicines, though they are being increasingly decriminalized and/or approved for medical use, especially as studies find benefits with relatively low risks.

Plant Medicines as Teachers

Studies on microdosing have shown plenty of self-reported benefits. Other studies show that microdosing has no greater effect than a placebo. Neuroimaging studies have, however, seen that these psychedelic medicines increase brain activity, serotonin levels, and neuroplasticity.

Plant medicines are somewhat difficult to study well. Changes in mood are subtle and subjective, and many studies rely on surveys and self-reports, which are notoriously difficult to measure objectively. But the cultures that have used these medicines for generations don’t think of them as magic pills to be used to cure unhappiness.

These plant medicines are teachers. They can shift our mental state, give us insights, and help us to feel our feelings—not just the positive ones, but the negative ones as well. Pharmaceutical medicines for mental health are commonly used to lift mood or numb negative experiences, while plant teachers are there to help us understand ourselves and our symptoms better. If we treat them like magic pills that make all our problems go away, we are really missing the point.

Julie Peters

• https://www.spiritualityhealth.com/how-helpful-is-plant-medicine

Is It My Intuition or Fear?

Is It My Intuition or Fear?

By Julie Peters

Posted on October 17, 2024

Intuition and fear often feel similar but have very different effects on our decision-making processes. Explore a therapeutic perspective on differentiating between the two.

We all know that having a connection to our intuition is a good thing. It can help us differentiate a good friend from someone who is trying to take advantage of us. It can help us move toward what we want even when other people might disagree with our choices. It can help us know whether we should go up or down, right or left. Or can it?

Intuition is, essentially, our sixth sense. It’s a feeling of knowing beneath our cognitive understanding. It’s knowing without being able to explain how we know. But what if our intuition is broken? What if what we’ve been feeling all along is actually something else, like fear?

Where Does Intuition Come From?

Intuition is important, but it’s complex. On a literal level, intuition is a sense, judgment, feeling, or emotion that arises before we have time to cognitively decide how we feel. It doesn’t come from our prefrontal cortex, the rational, thinking aspect of our brains—it comes from more primitive places: older parts of the brain, like the amygdala, and our nervous system, which is more sensitive in our gut than in our mind. Intuitive information tends to come through the body, not the thinking mind.

What we must keep in mind is that most of this information is learned. Our intuition is essentially a collection of information that we’ve gathered throughout our lives that our bodies have stored in places that don’t need thinking to activate. If we’ve been traumatized by men, for example, our “intuitive” reaction to a new man might be to push him away—even if he’s a lovely person.

There may be something more to intuition, however. Many people believe we can access something bigger than ourselves when we pay attention. We could call this Spirit, the collective unconscious, guidance from angels or spirit guides, or advice from a higher self. This type of intuition is a little different, and it works differently from the aforementioned quick reactions based on past experiences.

A Gut Feeling Versus Spiritual Intuition

In my experience, this spiritual intuition is slower and more long acting. It shows up when we are paying attention without fear or judgment; when we are “tuned in” to ourselves or another person. One way to know if this type of intuition is true spiritual guidance or just fear is if it sticks around no matter your mood, over days, weeks, or even months. This type of guidance helps you grow and learn and not just keep you safe.

Another way of defining intuition is through understanding our inner emotional compass. We were born with the capacity to feel a number of core emotions that are intended to guide us specifically in our relationships. Fear is a core emotion that tells us something is unsafe. This emotion gets a pretty bad rap, and yes, it can hold us back when we’re confusing unsafe with uncomfortable. But when things are genuinely unsafe, we should listen to our fear and get away.

Similarly, anger is a much-maligned emotion that’s supposed to help us understand our needs and boundaries and ensure we are protected. When we constantly suppress our anger, we can’t discern what our needs and boundaries even are, let alone stand up for them.

With both fear and anger (and most of the other core emotions), it’s a good idea to measure these emotions against our intelligence and the general context of what we’re experiencing. Ideally, we don’t need to react the moment we feel these emotions, but rather slow down and feel into them so we can understand the message they are trying to give us, cleared of any emotional or contextual debris (like, for example, we are tired, hungry, or dysregulated).

Intuition and the Attachment Styles

Intuition may be most challenging when it comes to love. That’s because our love relationships tend to trigger our oldest relational wounds, and it’s very easy for fear to arise and tell us we’d better not take the risk (whether that’s to stay, leave, approach someone, etc.). We learn love through the dynamics we grew up with, so if love was associated with anxiety and abandonment, for example, our “intuition” may look for those feelings in love relationships and avoid someone who invokes feelings of safety and stability.

Most of us form an attachment style in childhood that can show up in our romantic relationships looking like intuition. If we grew up with secure, consistent love, we will tend to assume love is available and possible. We’ll be less likely to become dysregulated with our partners, and it might be easier to move into a safe, connected state when we can attend to our intuition.

If we grew up with inconsistency around love in some way (including the loss of a parent or experiences of trauma), we will tend to experience anxious attachment, which means we’re much less likely to trust in our lovers. Our intuition can be overridden by a need for reassurance and closeness—even when we don’t particularly like the person we’re with.

If our needs were consistently unmet in childhood, we tend to experience avoidant attachment, which means we feel safer alone, used to meeting our own needs without the complication of another. Our intuitive responses to love will tend to lean towards breakups, distance, and separateness because those experiences feel safer. We don’t decide these reactions cognitively; they are wired in as strategies to deal with stressful childhood experiences that influence us well into adulthood.

How to Discern Between Intuition and Fear

So how do we know if it’s intuition or fear? Well, there’s truly no simple answer to this question, as intuition and fear both come with so many layers based on what we’ve been through and how tapped in we are to Spirit and ourselves. As many of us have learned, even when we’re feeling tapped in and are listening to ourselves closely, our intuition can still turn out to be wrong.

It’s important we don’t think of this “sixth sense” as infallible, like being able to look into a crystal ball and tell the future. Especially when it comes to love, it takes time to get to know people and figure out if someone is a good choice for us in the long term. Some of the work around intuition might be about trusting ourselves to take risks and make mistakes and know we’ll be okay if things don’t go the way we hoped.

That being said, here are a few hints to be able to tell the difference between unreasonable fear and healthy intuition:

• Intuition comes through when you feel calm and safe, not when you are already dysregulated.

• If you’re afraid, ask yourself if you are actually in danger or if something simply feels uncomfortable, challenging, or unfamiliar.

• Pay attention to the intuitive feeling when it arises—does it pass when you eat well or get enough sleep or when an argument is resolved? Or does it stick around through various moods and cycles?

• Try to set aside overthinking and rationalization and notice what is happening in your body.
  Allow yourself to settle into one side of a decision. What do you feel in your body? If there is tension, nausea, and a sense of being “not right,” that is likely an intuitive “no.” Do the opposite, and look for a sense of settling, exhaling, calmness, and “rightness,” even if there might also be emotions like sadness and fear. That is closer to an intuitive “yes” from your body.

• Compare your intuitive feeling against your past experiences and the opinions of trusted friends and loved ones. Maybe even ask the opinion of various “parts” of yourself.

• Keep in mind that intuition is just one aspect of decision making, and it’s a good idea to use all your parts, your bodily reactions, your emotions, and your mind when deciding what to do.

Julie Peters

• https://www.spiritualityhealth.com/intuition-or-fear