After writing an earlier article, (1) I had a realization while sitting at the keyboard.
I realized that a step on the overall, endless journey is to surrender any attachment to individuality.
I said “attachment.” I still use my name and have possessions. But I have no attachment to anything impermanent.
Anicca, anicca, anicca, my meditation teacher used to say. Not this impermanent reality, not this, not this. That is not who I am or what I’m looking for.
I’m pushing my edge here, to get myself going, but not in conversation. In self-awareness.
I push that edge on whatever level of reality is available to me in the moment.
The tool I can use most effectively to check for blocking is my breath. If there is muscular tension – a holding pattern in my body – it’ll impede my breathing and thus be sensible to me.
Yes, there’s lots of holding.
When I open to realizing what the holding is about, I realize that, growing up, I was not allowed to voice disagreements, dislikes, etc. Where I funnelled my energy was into a withholding of love and a holding on to resentments.
Massive work to be done there. I’ll be using the Law of Karmic Dispensation to forgive those who have harmed me and ask forgiveness of those whom I may have harmed. I’m not sure how else I could be free of it all in a short amount of time.
From the realization comes the real work.
I love what the Divine Mother said about our choice:
Divine Mother: We are not talking about transient interpretations of what is transpiring. It is aligning and adhering to the standalone truth – and the standalone truth, sweet one, is only love. (2)
The choice is not left or right, Democrats or Republicans, but for the experience of love or no love.
And not even loving this person or that, but loving love itself. Loving being in the experience of it, savoring it, and sharing it. Loving being love. Or not.
The choice to do that, for me, is the only true choice in my life and development. All the rest is subsidiary, dependent.
I’m watching something happen within myself which is subtle, but tangible nonetheless.
At any point in time, other things compete with it for my attention. At any time, I could be distracted and forget about it. And almost always, I am distracted and forget immediately what I may have noticed.
The tenuousness of the contact is similar to seeing a person in a crowd with no chance of interaction. Hi! Goodbye! That’s the kind of weak, distant, subtle contact I have with it.
Usually, of course, I have no deep sense at all so this is an improvement!
***
But enough. Let me get to it.
I’ve been saying to you for some time that I know X is happening on the southern border, Y is happening in the Middle East, etc. But, meanwhile, almost imperceptibly, what has crept up on me is this now-familiar and increasingly-magnetic draw to go inwards.
Long-time readers will be familiar with the longing for liberation. (1) This is of that sort but with the dial turned up; i.e., much stronger.
I’ve mentioned the inner draw before and I mention it now because it reveals to me the process whereby anyone – light or dark – might end up being drawn to Ascension or building Nova Earth.
This same magnetic draw that I’m aware of at this moment is, I believe, exactly the mechanism that is and will be used to invite a change of course, if one is ever going to happen.
In my case, that change of vote and change of course is from resisting the inner draw and continuing to focus externally to allowing it and going where it leads.
This morning I noticed the draw again. I felt the pull to get everything necessary out of the way and go inward. And I noticed how strong it was getting.
What was just a suspicion some time ago is now becoming tangible. For the first time it’s showing up on my radar.
***
I surmise, as I peer into the future, that a time will come when I’ll actually be drawn inwardly deep enough that I’ll switch my vote.
I’ll switch it from having an external focus of attention be the norm, to having an internal focus be the norm. But by that time, I believe I’ll have learned how to integrate the outer and the inner.
I remember what Yogananda said about bliss. You gradually get used to it and are able to interact after a while without seeming strange.
I don’t believe I’m being drawn inward forever, but until whatever the inward draw is intended to accomplish – personally or as a planet – is accomplished.
A stage of advancement would be an example of a personal outcome; the Ring of Fire is an example of a planetary outcome. The latter will have us draw inward big time, but it, like other experiences, won’t last.
If we listen to Vedantic sources, only Sahaja is lasting; only it is powerful enough to burn the seeds of karma and advance our consciousness beyond the Third and Fourth Dimensions. (2)
What’s happening with me is in no way Ascension. It’s a spiritual experience, yes, but in the form of a process rather than a snap.
I’m choosing to see it as a rite of passage, in the same way that St. John of the Cross’s dark night of the soul is a rite of passage. (3)
It doesn’t mean an abandonment of external awareness. It just means adjusting the balance somewhat and choosing the best sources in the time available until such time as the process achieves its result.
And it doesn’t mean I can’t report in on what’s happening. That’s what I’m here for: To go up with everyone else and write about it.
And maybe this process will never achieve a final result; maybe the process is never-ending.
(2) Ramana Maharshi: The Sahaja Nirvikalpa is permanent and in it lies liberation from rebirths [i.e., Ascension]. (Ramana Maharshi in S.S. Cohen, Guru Ramana. Memories and Notes. 6th edition. Tiruvannamalai: Sri Ramanasramam, 1993, 88.)
And the Divine Mother as well:
Steve Beckow: I’m trying to understand what level of enlightenment Ascension corresponds to and I think it’s beyond the normal seventh-chakra enlightenment. I think it is what is called — and I’ll make this clear to readers — sahaja samadhi. Am I correct?
Divine Mother: Yes, it is beyond what you think of [as being] with your seven chakras. … We have emerged from the Third-Dimensional realm, which is that reference point for the [seven] chakra system, into the new. So yes, you are correct, in this question and in this statement. (“The Divine Mother: Come to Me as I Come to You – Part 1/2,” Oct. 17, 2012, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2012/10/17/the-divine-mother-come-to-me-as-i-come-to-you-part-12/.)
(3) On what is actually meant by the phrase “dark night of the soul,” see “St. John of the Cross on the Dark Night of the Soul,”
I’m going to make the most radical statement I’ve ever made and I do so only to get your attention.
Here goes:
I estimate that 99.99% of people around the world are looking in … the wrong … hmmm…. OK, the least effective place for love.
99.99% of people are seeking love from someone else.
And they look, and they look, and they look. And they do not find. And they are disappointed. Eventually relationships break down (“You don’t love me!”) and the two part.
… And then we meet another! Hope springs eternal!
No, no, no. Stop. How much disappointment can you take? As Kathleen says, how’s it working for ya? Chances are you feel, well, a little starved for love?
99.99% of people do not know that the most effective place to look for love is in your very own heart. (1) After you strike the big one, – that is, your heart opens – you don’t have to look any more. You have a direct pipeline to the endless flow.
It won’t stay 100% open. Like all spiritual experiences short of Ascension, it’ll go and come and go, as Michael tells me:
Archangel Michael: You have had a heart opening. Think of it this way, as a heart opening, [it] is not 1000% and it is like a rubber stopper that opens, closes, opens, closes. So it is partially open.
So, it is a permanent heart opening because you are most certainly not only in the truth and the love of your own being, but in THE love of the Mother, far more than you have ever been. That is permanent and irreversible. But it is not 1000%. (2)
Enough for a journalist to savor for the rest of his life and tell you about it here.
After Ascension, our heart will remain 100% … errrr, 1,000% open forever. (And reportedly we’ll be interdimensional.) (3)
The heart is a portal to the higher dimensions, which are all only love. (4)
That heart is a wellspring of love, the doorway to bliss, a tsunami of love ending in an Ocean of Love. (5)
Breathe love up from your heart. Pause and enjoy it passing through you (because love must flow) and release it out into the world.
Breathe love in. Breathe love out. From love we came; to love we return.
This has been an unpaid, non-political message from your Maker, through yours truly, special delivery and pony express. (6)
Footnotes
(1) And remember to ask for a heart opening. Ask and ye shall receive. Knock and the door shall be opened. Were these idle words?
(2) Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Aug. 3, 2015. (Hereafter, AAM.)
(4) Specifically, the heart’s door, the hridayam, remains closed until a heart opening. Ascension itself is a full and permanent heart opening. That opening sees us visit for a time higher states of consciousness.
It is only about love, as the Mother says:
Divine Mother: It is all journey of love. … And truly of anchoring and being nothing but the love, in intellect, in wisdom, in sharing, in adventure, in relationship. It can only be [so] when you continue to bring all adventures, all arguments, all explorations back to the love. (The Divine Mother in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, April 30, 2019.)
(6) Archangel Michael: Oh, you haven’t heard anything yet! We will talk about the evolutionary ladders (as you tend to think of it) and the various choices that are available in terms of that….
Steve: Oh please! We’ve got it all wrong down here! Help! Help! Message in a bottle!
AAM: I will send it parcel post and express mail! (AAM, Jan. 20, 2016.)
I’m more and more realizing the idiocy of claiming to be an “expert.”
I’m left musing after reading Marilyn’s thought-provoking history of the Council of Nicea.
The only historical connection I have – even to the Christian Church broadly at that time, save a lifelong fascination with the desert fathers – is with St. Nonnus of Panopolis, (1) whom I came to admire.
St. Nonnus was an embodied archangel, Michael told me. (2) His best-known act was his relationship with Pelagia, an actress and prostitute, renowned in Antioch. (3)
She had such a powerful experience listening to his sermon that she sold all her jewels and gold, gave the money away, and joined a nunnery, it was thought.
After her death, a brother sent to her discovered her locked in a brothers’ cell in Jerusalem, where she was known as Brother Pelagius. She’d lived on scraps, the most pious of the pious. No one knew Brother Pelagius was a woman. (4)
Wow, did that story have an effect on me at the time.
That’s it. That’s my knowledge of the times and the Christian Church back then. Having that scrap of knowledge, does that make me an expert?
Only if I spin it.
***
And that raises the second point. How many experts are indeed simply masterful at spinning it? We saw how many professional medical people were willing to swallow the Kool-Aid and go along with the Covid narrative even though they knew their actions were wrong. The persecutors claimed to be experts.
Going along with the narrative included attributing even deaths by murder to Covid, giving politicians the placebo and the rest of us the toxic vaccine, forcing people to take the vaccine, de-credentialing professionals who opposed it, etc.
How many of these people posed as experts on Covid, when what they were espousing was killing people?
I’m so tired of our tendency to make and worship “experts.”
***
I think that’s why I prefer awareness writing so much. I can really only tell you my story – what I see, hear, think, feel. It’s probably self-servingly packaged (reader beware), dressed up to look nice, told and retold perhaps. Hopefully not.
But, with that tool, I can burrow down, below that layer, below the vasanas (core issues), until we get to places in our field of awareness where things really happen – realizations, experiences, insights.
I’m an expert in me. That’s all I’m an expert in and, even there, if I don’t watch myself, I can kid myself, choose to remain ignorant, make things up. The human mind is capable … of anything… as we’re seeing all around us in these end times – the end of darkness.
Michael says he knows me better. Undoubtedly he does. But I’m the final arbiter, the final judge. I plow the row. I plant the seeds. I reap the harvest.
Footnotes
(1) Wikipedia says: “[Nonnus of Panopolis] is sometimes conflated with St Nonnus from the hagiographies of St Pelagia and with Nonnus, the bishop of Edessa who attended the Council of Chalcedon, both of whom seem to have been roughly contemporary, but these associations are probably mistaken.” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonnus.)
But Michael says Nonnus of Panopolis and St. Nonnus were the same being:
Steve: Did [St.] Nonnus write the Dionysiac? Is he also the Nonnus that wrote the [Paraphrase of the] Epistle of St. John?
AAM: That is correct. (AAM, March 13, 2015.)
(2) Steve: I’m trying to figure out why I love Nonnus [of Panopolis] so much. Whenever I come across his name I get a surge of love. Can you tell me?
Archangel Michael: Because you cherish this energy which is known in many ways and in many forms.
S: So it’s not necessarily Nonnus…
AAM: No, it is the energy that has been known as Nonnus’s, but is known in many ways.
S: Can you tell me of the other ways that it is known?
AAM: Archangelic, dear heart.
S: Nonnus was archangelic?
AAM: Yes.
S: Oh, gosh, isn’t that wonderful! (AAM, March 13, 2015.)
(3) It was common for actors and actresses to sleep with members of the audience, for the right price.
(4) Here is Oxford’s version:
“Pelagia, actress of Antioch, penitent at Jerusalem. Her Legend has been immensely popular in East and West. It was written by someone well versed in the writings of the Desert Fathers, who purported to be James the deacon of bishop Nonnus. According to this fictional account, Pelagia was a beautiful but dissolute actress of Antioch, at the height of her renown, with many lovers, jewels, and servants.
“When some bishops were seated at the tomb of St Julian, listening to a sermon from Nonnus, she passed by, provocatively dressed, surrounded by her ‘fans.’ All the bishops turned away shocked, except Nonnus, who was moved to tears by her zeal and success in her profession (regarded as Satan’s) compared with the tepidity and slowness of his own and others’ progress in holiness.
“After a dream-troubled night Nonnos preached in the cathedral of Antioch and Pelagia walked in again, was converted on the spot, and asked for baptism. A deaconess Romana was deputed to be her sponsor and Pelagia was duly instructed and baptized.
“Soon afterwards she gave away all her ill-gotten gains, left her life of comfort and luxury, and went to live as a hermit, dressed as a man, on the Mount of Olives ( Jerusalem). There the deacon James visited the beardless recluse ‘Pelagius’; only after her death. Not long afterwards were her identity and her sex discovered.”
