58 Passive Aggressive Phrases Disguised as Polite

58 Passive Aggressive Phrases Disguised as Polite

By Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

Posted on June 21, 2024

 

 

Passive-aggressive behavior is a way of expressing negative emotions like anger or annoyance through indirect ways like sarcasm, fake flattery, procrastination or ignoring someone. These negative emotions come across as passive aggressive phrases.

For example, let’s say I always buy you a birthday present, and this year you forgot to get me one. You call a few days later and apologize, and I say, “Hey, that’s fine, we all forget.” But I am properly miffed.

The problem is, you’re my good friend, so I don’t come out directly and challenge you. Instead, I drop subtle clues I’m not happy. I may ‘forget’ to return your calls and blame a busy work schedule, or I might say mean things about you and laugh them off as ‘only joking’ when you challenge me.

58 Passive Aggressive Phrases

Passive-aggressive behavior occurs in any situation where the perpetrator doesn’t want to deal directly with their negative feelings.

You are most likely to hear passive aggressive phrases in the workplace. Research shows passive-aggressive behavior is common in the workplace, with 73% experiencing some kind of passive-aggressive communication at work. At work, we expect ourselves to be respectful to our colleagues.

We frown on outbursts and confrontations. We rely on workplace etiquette from our co-workers, but this can lead to resentment and bottling up our feelings.

20 Passive Aggressive Phrases in the Workplace

According to this study, co-workers (20%) are the most passive-aggressive people. Of all passive-aggressive behavior, co-workers describe fake politeness and weaponized kindness as the worst examples.

Examples of workplace passive-aggressive phrases:

• “As you are no doubt aware…”
• “For future reference…”
• “I’m sure you’re doing the best you can.”
• “Reattaching for your convenience.”
• “Hopefully this helps.”
• “You couldn’t have done any better.”
• “Friendly reminder…”
• “Just circling back.”
• “Wow, you’re working harder than anyone else out there. And it shows.”
• “As per my last email…”
• “This person is serviceable.”
• “Correct me if I’m wrong.”
• “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
• “I advise you to waste no time in hiring this candidate.”
• “Going forward…”
• “I’m not sure if you saw my last email.”
• “Like I already told you.”
• “I wish I had as much time off as you.”
• “Oh, you’re quitting? Well, you are irreplaceable.”
• “No one could be a better choice than you.”

18 Passive Aggressive Phrases From Family Members

The most passive-aggressive people after co-workers are mothers (18%). Passive-aggressive comments from either parent can be brutal, as we constantly strive for attention and validation.

• “You did way better than expected.”
• “You look so much nicer when you smile.”
• “Can’t you take a joke?”
• “That was surprisingly good.”
• “You’d look more professional without those tattoos.”
• “I thought you knew?”
• “Looks like you’re finally getting your shit together.”
• “If only you were more like your sister/brother.”
• “I didn’t think you’d want to be invited.”
• “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’re good at other stuff.”
• “Well, if that’s what you want.”
• “Did you do something different today? You look pretty.”
• “If you think so…”
• “When did you get so smart?”
• “You’re so lucky.”
• “Wow, those clothes look so slimming on you.”
• “You look so good; I hardly recognized you.”
• “You’re so brave to wear that.”

20 Passive Aggressive Things Friends Say

Finally, the same research shows that our friends make up 16% of all passive-aggressive phrases.

• “Fine. Whatever.”
• “Wow, I didn’t recognize you. You’ve really matured.”
• “Why are you always so emotional?”
• “No offense, but…”
• “You’ve done well, considering your background.”
• “Good for you.”
• “Why don’t you…”
• “I’m so sorry that bothers you so much.”
• “I like what you tried to do there.”
• “You are a Prince among Kings.”
• “If you say so.”
• “You look good when you make the effort.”
• “I’m sorry I asked so much of you.”
• “That’s probably for the best.”
• “Thanks for being so understanding.”
• “I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are.”
• “Well, that’s exceptional for someone like you.”
• “Your intelligence far exceeds your education level.”
• “Wow, nice car. You were going really fast when I passed you.”
• “I think it’s amazing how you’ve got the confidence to wear something like that! You’re so brave!”

What to Do about Passive Aggressive Phrases?

Of course, not every one of the above phrases could be passive aggressive. Some might be genuine compliments. You must look at the intent behind the phrase.

At its heart, passive aggressive behavior stems from a reluctance to confront a situation or person directly.

“Being passive-aggressive often entails a desire to avoid face-to-face conflict, not being truly honest about what [someone is] thinking or making subtle comments that appear harmless yet have an underlying negative impact on the receiver,”

-Miya Yung, associate clinical social worker

Perhaps the person is uncomfortable with confrontation, or they find it embarrassing. Or maybe they don’t want to let the other person know how upset they are because it will force a discussion about the relationship/situation and they’re not ready to address that.

If you’re on the receiving end of passive aggressive phrases:

• Don’t react immediately.
• Stay calm. This situation isn’t about you. Take it as a sign of unhappiness the other person cannot express directly just yet.
• Be nonjudgmental and encourage honest and open discussion.
• Be clear to this person. You cannot control how they react.

If you are being passive aggressive:

• Ask yourself why this behavior is so triggering for you.
• Acknowledge the negative emotions you’re feeling (at least to yourself).
• Practice gratitude for the things you have.
• Don’t compare yourself to others.

Final Thoughts

Anyone can fall into using passive aggressive phrases. However, ignoring it leads to resentment and toxic relationships. Being empathic to others’ needs and communicating with no judgment always produces the best in people.

References:

1. preply.com
2. www.huffingtonpost.co.uk
3. Featured image by freepik

Davies

 

 

Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

Sub-editor & staff writer at Learning Mind

Janey Davies has been published online for over 10 years. She has suffered from a panic disorder for over 30 years, which prompted her to study and receive an Honours degree in Psychology with the Open University. Janey uses the experiences of her own anxiety to offer help and advice to others dealing with mental health issues.

 

Copyright © 2012-2024 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

 

How to Deal with Mean Jokes

How to Deal with Mean Jokes

9 Clever Ways to Diffuse and Disarm People

By Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

Posted on April 30, 2024

 

 

I was walking with a friend the other day and she turned to me and said “God, you’ve made a real mess of your face!” My skin has always been problematic.

I have suffered from acne since the age of 13 years and even in my fifties, it hasn’t gone away.

As I’d made a real effort to cover up my acne, her comment upset me. For a moment, I was too shocked to say anything. When I finally found my voice, I told her she had upset me.

“Oh, don’t be so sensitive,” she said, “I was only joking.”

All I could mumble was “You’ve really upset me,” and I walked away from her. If you’ve had to deal with mean jokes like this, you’ll understand exactly how I felt at that moment.

There’s an element of shock; did that person really say that to me? Then you wonder how to respond. Did they mean what they said? Did they purposely intend to upset you? Were they just ignorant? Should you say something? What should you say?

How to Deal with Mean Jokes

The problem is that while these thoughts are racing through your head, the moment is passing. Often someone has said something so mean and turned it into a joke you don’t know how to respond. Or you think of a pithy comeback days after the situation is over.

Of course, I can’t give you answers or witty comebacks to all the mean jokes in the world. What I can do is give you some general tips and examples that allow you to respond with confidence.

These comebacks to mean jokes are not nasty or passive-aggressive. They put the focus back onto the person who has given you a snide remark.

In essence, we are calling out these people to face up to what they have said and not use excuses such as

“Oh, it was just a joke, get over yourself.”

Now, before I start, make sure you have considered the following:

• Did the person mean to hurt you or are they just being ignorant?
• Just how bothered are you by their comment? Are you fuming or can you let it go?
• Was it an offhand comment or directed at you personally?
• Do you have triggers that make you overreact to certain comments?
• How well do you know this person? Is this the first time you have met or are you friends?
• Are they in a habit of telling mean jokes?
• Do you feel confident enough to confront them?
• Are you in a power dynamic that makes it difficult for you to say anything?

It can be easy to jump in and start calling everyone out for bad behaviour. The problem in doing this is that we should try and weigh up each situation on its merit. Does it warrant a confrontation?

If you have decided yes, this is important enough that you want to say something, then this is how you can go about calling it out.

Use the following as a step-by-step set of actions. So, start with ignoring, then ask them to repeat, once they have repeated the comment, get them to explain it to you, etc.

So, if you have ever wondered what you should say when confronted with mean jokes, here are 9 ways you can diffuse, disarm and dissuade people from telling them in the future.

9 Ways to Deal With Mean Jokes

1. Ignore them/Don’t laugh

In any confrontation, you don’t want to jump in wielding the big guns straight away. The reason is that you may have misheard or misunderstood the joke.

Ignoring the person or not laughing at the mean joke can be an effective technique, especially if everyone else is laughing. Silence is a powerful tool because it puts the onus back on the perpetrator.

2. “I beg your pardon?”

Asking someone to repeat what they have said is also an effective way of confronting their actions. You are not saying you agree or disagree with what they have said.

However, you want clarification before you move on. Making the person repeat a mean or offensive joke takes the power away from them. And sometimes the mere act of asking them to repeat it shuts them up.

3. “Explain it to me?”

This is particularly effective when dealing with sexist, racist, or homophobic jokes. For example, I used to work for a manager who continually made sexist remarks about me in front of clients.

Things like “She would make a really good stripper,” or “If you ask her nicely, she’ll show you her body.”

By saying ‘explain that to me’ you put the perpetrator in the uncomfortable position of describing why he/she said that. Remember, you are not obligated to laugh at the joke to make this person feel better.

4. What was their intent?

The famous comedian Ricky Gervais once said there is nothing you cannot joke about. It is all about intent. What is the intent behind the joke?

For example, this is a risque joke:

A Holocaust victim goes to heaven and meets with God. God asks the survivor about his experiences in the camps and the survivor says “You had to be there”.

While some people argue that you cannot joke about something as horrific as the holocaust, we are all ‘in’ on this joke because obviously none of us would want to be there. However, if your far-right friend told this joke, their intent would be different.

Find out their intent. Did they mean to be offensive?

5. Kill them with sarcasm

In situations like these, sarcasm is not the lowest form of wit, it is a great way to deflect a situation back to the perpetrator.

For instance, if someone says “Gosh, did you get dressed in the dark?” Respond with “No, I’ve borrowed these clothes from your wardrobe.”

Or, my favourite:

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

6. Act genuinely surprised

If you are in a group, quite often, the best way to deal with mean jokes is to act surprised. In your world, people don’t say stuff like that.

Examples include “Gosh, what an awful thing to say!” or “Wow, where did that come from?” or “What century are they living in?” or my favourite (taken from my dad) “Who rattled his/her cage?”

This way, you draw attention to the person without confronting them directly. Hopefully, they will get the message and shut up. If not, move on to the next step.

7. Call on others for support

Again, group settings provide a degree of support. Think about it, if this mean joke offended or affected you, it is quite likely to have the same effect on others. You can look around and ask the question

“Why would anyone say that?” or “I find that totally inappropriate, don’t you?”

Calling out bad behaviour is easier when you have a backup.

8. Be direct

Quite often, the reason people tell mean jokes and get away with it is that no one wants a confrontation. As a society, we are polite and it is easier to laugh off a mean comment than question it. However, being direct cuts through the BS.

If you feel confident, you can say,

“Actually I find that really offensive” or “I’d rather you didn’t tell jokes like that” or “I really don’t like jokes that are racist/sexist/personal attacks”.

9. “It’s not funny” and I’m not being too sensitive”

People excuse telling mean jokes with replies such as “Oh I was only joking, chill out” or “You are being too sensitive”. These are gaslighting techniques to diminish your feelings.

You know how that joke made you feel. Stand your ground. Saying something is ‘just a joke’ is not an excuse. A joke is funny and inclusive. What they have said is mean and nasty.

Final thoughts

It’s difficult confronting the teller of mean jokes, but a rule of thumb is to not go in all guns blazing. Start gently and allow them to explain. If they don’t respond as you would like, you have two choices; put up with them or stay away.

References:

• huffpost.com
• wikihow.com
• psychologytoday.com

Janey Davies

 

 

Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

Sub-editor & staff writer at Learning Mind

Janey Davies has been published online for over 10 years. She has suffered from a panic disorder for over 30 years, which prompted her to study and receive an Honours degree in Psychology with the Open University. Janey uses the experiences of her own anxiety to offer help and advice to others dealing with mental health issues.

 

Copyright © 2012-2024 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

 

Conspiracy Theorists Were Right About Climate Lockdowns

Conspiracy Theorists Were Right About Climate Lockdowns

By Bobbie Anne Flower Cox

Posted on January 25, 2024

Well folks, I really hate to say this, but it’s another win for the conspiracy theorists. They can take off their tinfoil hats and take a deep bow. Yet another one of their outrageous “predictions” is coming true. For anyone keeping score, sadly the score card is rather one-sided. I think the count is something like Conspiracy Theorists = 1,000,000 wins vs. Logic & Normalcy = 0 wins. Boy how I wish we could win some on the “Logic & Normalcy” scale!

So, I acknowledge that I do have a rather dry sense of humor. I throw sarcasm in there a bunch. A couple of my friends tell me they cannot always tell when I’m being serious or if I’m joking. This makes me think that quite a few of you will be wondering, “Is she serious or is she joking with the title to her article?” To that I answer, I will tell you what I know, and then you decide. (You know how I love to promote critical thinking)…

Yesterday, our unfortunate Governor of New York, Kathy Hochul, issued a TRAVEL BAN for an entire county. You read that correctly. No, not a travel advisory, but a full on travel ban! Meaning, New Yorkers in Erie County are forbidden from going anywhere. What’s another name for that? Well, if you live in a rural or very suburban area (which most of New York State is), where driving on a road is the way you get from point A to point B, then I would say a synonym would be “lockdown.”

And what was Dictator Hochul’s, I mean Governor Hochul’s, reason for this lockdown of close to one million New Yorkers that live in Erie County? Wait for it. Ready? It was going to SNOW! For anyone who does not live in New York, or who has never been to Western New York in the winter, that area of our state gets a lot of snow. Often. And yet, the governor thinks (all of a sudden, out of nowhere) everyone living there is so ignorant, they must be confined to their homes until she says it’s safe for them to rejoin the world again. Either that, or she’s just testing you to see how far she can take her totalitarian desires. Or both.

For all the keyboard critics who love to jump in and twist my words, I’ll cut you off at the pass and say that I am not admonishing a governor’s desire to keep people safe in the wake of a storm. That’s not at all what I am saying. If a natural disaster is approaching, people should be warned, emergency services ready to roll, and help made readily available. Encourage people to stock up, stay home, and hunker down? For sure! Forbid people from leaving their homes? NO.

There is a big difference between caring about New Yorkers’ safety, and wanting to control people. Huge.

And in fact, Hochul was banning people from leaving their homes even if it was NOT snowing! Sound unbelievable? It sure does. But remember in my article last week, I cited an ancient Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, who fittingly said, “The truth often evades being recognized due to its utter incredibility.” Put another way, when something is so outrageous, it is often cast aside as untrue. Well, here’s what comrade Kathy posted on her Twitter yesterday:

She went on to post several other times about the snow and her travel ban. I was actually encouraged to read that most of the comments she received were negative, logical rebuttals to her power grab. Here are a few…

OK, so digging a bit into travel bans, you’ll recognize that there have been travel bans based on big storms in the past here in New York. However, those are issued by the local government (i.e. County Executive), after a state of emergency is declared. They are not issued by the Governor, nor are they issued without an emergency declaration.

By the way, the travel ban is still in effect for most of Erie County today. Anybody surprised?

Does anyone see the correlation here between government overreach, their quest for “centralized” power, and their fear-mongering? It’s the same thing the Governor and her DOH have been doing with their hideous “quarantine camp” regulation that I have been fighting in court for nearly two years now! The name of that case is Borrello v. Hochul, and you can read the details and case history here. Connecting the dots to the analysis at hand, you will note that the quarantine camp regulation tried to take the power from (elected) judges (in keeping with our law) who have the authority to temporarily quarantine sick, dangerous people, and shift that power to unelected, statewide, DOH employees and appointees who have zero accountability to We the People.

Under their quarantine camp reg, the Governor and her DOH would have centralized control over 19 million New Yorkers, to force you to lock down in your home, or they could force you (with the use of police) to go to a quarantine center/ facility/ camp (pick your noun), without any proof you are sick, indefinitely, with no procedure by which you can regain your freedom, and with no declared state of emergency! The fear factor used to try to justify the authoritarian power grab here is the threat of death…If we don’t lock people up who are possibly exposed to a disease, then you might die. Swap out “possibly exposed to a disease” and put in its stead “unclean.” What does that make you think of?

My next question: do you see any similarities here to Hochul’s probably illegal climate lockdown? I say “probably illegal” because I couldn’t find the supposed legal authority that she’s relying upon to prohibit people from driving. If you know what she is relying upon, feel free to post it in the Substack comment section below.

Before you draw your own final conclusion about all this, I will add one last thing for you to consider. In December, a month before Hochul issued this Erie County travel ban, the (Democrat) County Executive, Mark Poloncarz, set up an online portal so residents could check and see if they would be deemed “essential workers” and thus exempt from any futuristic travel bans. Oh, and he coordinated with their “partners” in the federal government to come up with the list! Sound familiar, folks?!

Remember Governor Cuomo’s C19 lockdown (“Just 2 weeks to flatten the curve”), which lasted for months, and all the “essential workers” that he exempted? Here’s an article about Erie’s coincidentally-just-in-time-for-a-travel-ban portal, “Erie County’s new online portal will identify essential workers exempt from travel bans.”

So… after taking in all that, is it 1,000,000 to 1… or is it 1,000,001 to 0?

• Source

How to Annoy a Passive-Aggressive Person: 13 Clever Ways to Fight Back

How to Annoy a Passive-Aggressive Person: 13 Clever Ways to Fight Back

By Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

Posted on March 10, 2023

If you’ve ever had to deal with a passive-aggressive person, you’ll know how frustrating it is. Passive-aggressive behavior takes many forms. From silent treatment to rolling eyes or even backhanded compliments.

The problem lies in its ambiguous nature. Often you don’t realize you have been the victim of a passive-aggressive person. Or, you don’t have time to think of a witty response. So, if you want to know how to annoy a passive-aggressive person, read on.

First, let’s examine types of passive-aggressive behavior.

Passive-Aggressive Behavior: What Does It Look Like?

Passive-aggressive behavior is conveying anger through indirect or surreptitious ways. Passive-aggressive behavior can be verbal or physical.

Types of Passive-Aggressive Behavior

VerbalSarcasm

Silent treatment

Sulking

Telling jokes or saying things that are not funny

Playing the victim

Patronizing comments

PhysicalConstant lateness

Social exclusion

Procrastination

Withholding affection

Incompetent behavior

Gossiping behind your back

Rolling the eyes/sighing/yawning

I want to show you examples and suggestions of what you can do. Here’s how to annoy a passive-aggressive person.

How to Annoy a Passive-Aggressive Person – 13 Ways

1. Sarcasm: Reply with sarcasm

Sarcasm is a way of appearing witty, but it comes with a nasty underlying tone. If you want to know how to annoy a sarcastic passive-aggressive person, have a bank of replies ready. Here’s a few:

“It’s so refreshing to see that not everyone is obsessed with appearances.”

“You’re really clever; you must be right at the top of the bell curve.”

“You’re like those idiot savants; without the savant part.”

“I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.”

“I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are.”

“I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll make an exception.”

“I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.”

“I admire how you don’t care what other people think of you.”

2. Silent treatment: Ignore them and have fun

Giving someone the silent treatment is typical passive-aggressive behavior. This is because the person avoids confrontation without saying a word. They can also pretend that nothing is wrong if you call or text, that they were busy or didn’t see your messages.

They are happy while you are in the dark. The silent treatment is a way of controlling you. But how to annoy a passive-aggressive person who is saying nothing? How to break silent treatment? Ignore it.

When someone gives you the silent treatment, they want it to affect you. They want to know how terrible you’re feeling, wondering what is wrong with them. The best way to annoy passive-aggressive behavior like this is to play them at their own game.

Ignore them. Get on with your life. Post on social media. Go out with other friends. Eventually, they will break their silence.

3. Sulking: Do your own thing

Sulking sets the atmosphere. It’s that ‘Fine, whatever’ response. This brooding, moody behavior permeates the whole relationship. After all, it’s difficult to have fun and be upbeat with someone in the corner, looking like a wet weekend. So, how do you stop a sulker?

Do your own thing. Let the person know you are in a good mood, and you don’t want to spoil it. If they cannot tell you what is wrong, you’ll just leave them to sort it out themselves. You are more than happy to discuss any issues, but you won’t put up with sulking; that’s what children do.

4. Telling jokes or saying things that are not funny: Ask for an explanation

Do you get accused of being too sensitive? Have you been told you’ve got no sense of humor? That you can’t take a joke? Manipulators conceal hurtful words under the guise of “I was only joking.” Or they accuse you of being super-sensitive.

This is a bullying tactic with a double whammy; the person gets away with saying something awful and trashes your reputation.

Take the sting out of a rude remark cloaked as a joke by asking the person to explain it to you. You can even act a little self-deprecating by apologizing for not ‘getting it’. Keep at them, saying

“Sorry, I just don’t understand the joke.”

5. Playing the victim: Annoying responses

We see passive-aggressive behavior in those who play the victim. It undermines someone else’s achievements or gains them sympathy.

Examples of playing the victim look like this, and if you want to know how to annoy a passive-aggressive person, have a look at my responses:

“I never had the chances you had, otherwise I could have a successful career.”

Response: “We can only dream and wonder.”

“You’re lucky. You’ve always had supportive parents. I’ve had to fend for myself.”

Response: “You little trooper! Gosh, I honestly don’t know how you’ve managed all these years.”

“You’d be late all the time if you were as busy as me!”

Response: “We’re all busy love. Maybe my time management is better than yours.”

“I wish my life was as easy as yours.”

Response: “I know. I’ve worked hard to get where I am.”

6. Patronizing behavior: Agree with them/Ignore them

People mask passive-aggressive behavior with patronizing remarks. These remarks appear as words of wisdom, encouragement, or friendly advice. In fact, they are controlling behavior, designed to tip you off balance and lower your self-esteem.

If you want to play them at their own game, you can agree with their statements, or embarrass them into silence.

For example:

“Oh, my dear, don’t worry about it. It’s far too complicated for you.”

Response: “Gosh, thanks, my little fluffy-filled kitten head nearly exploded!”

“Well, aren’t you looking better?!”

Response: “It’s all the colonic irrigation treatments, but thank you for noticing.”

“We’re so happy you’ve finally managed to find a boyfriend; we were getting worried!”

Response: “Oh don’t worry, I’ve been making up for lost time in the bedroom, if you see what I mean!”

“I can see you’ve made a genuine effort with that casserole. Well done for trying.”

Response: “Yes, I’m not an excellent cook like you. I’m better at sex.”

You can also ignore what they’ve said and walk away. If you like, pretend you haven’t heard what they’ve said. Their goal is to get a reaction from you. By walking away, you are deflating their goal.

7. Constant lateness: Tell them an earlier time

I only have one simple tip for you if someone is constantly late and you’re fed up with it. Lie.

Tell them it is Wednesday if they have a Friday deadline. Inform them that the meeting starts at 1.30pm if they have to attend it at 2pm. If you’re meeting for lunch, tell them it’s brunch. If they’re always late, rewinding time ensures they arrive on time, and you’re not stressed.

8. Social exclusion: Be direct

It’s not nice to be excluded from a party or event. Leaving someone off the guest list is typical passive-aggressive behavior. You might only find out after the event through gossip or social media.

Leaving someone out is sneaky but deliberate. The person doesn’t want to confront you, but they want you to feel isolated.

You can annoy passive-aggressors like this by direct confrontation. So, say something like:

“Oh, how was your party? Did many people turn up? I’m sorry I missed it, but I had to work.”

9. Procrastination: Set consequences

I had a housemate whose only job was to clean the bathroom. I did everything else. He hadn’t done it for three months and it was coming up to Christmas when we had guests staying. Christmas Eve arrived, and he still hadn’t done it. I ended up cleaning it.

He would say things like:

“You don’t have to keep reminding me.”

“I’ll get round to it when I have time.”

“It’s hardly important, is it?”

After Christmas, I put my foot down. I used to do all the cooking and shopping and would leave him a meal every day. The first day I didn’t cook for him he asked where his dinner was. I told him, clean the bathroom and I’ll cook for you. He started getting takeaways and ready meals, but soon found it too expensive.

After a week, I came home to a sparkling clean bathroom. That’s how to annoy a passive-aggressive person who is procrastinating.

10. Withholding affection

This is a manipulative way to behave. Not wanting sex, turning away from a kiss or hug is demoralizing. My advice? Be all over your partner like a rash.

I do this with my dogs. As part of our playtime, I give them lots of love and kisses. If your partner gets stroppy, tell them you’ll find someone who wants affection.

11. Incompetent behavior

Excuses such as ‘I don’t know how to load the dishwasher’ or ‘You are a better cook than me’ or ‘I never do the housework as good as you’ don’t cut it with me.

I had a boyfriend once that couldn’t do his laundry. So, I showed him how to work the washing machine. We are talking about grown adults here people.

12. Gossiping behind your back

Badmouthing a person has many root causes. But that’s a different article. If someone is gossiping behind your back, the best way to annoy them is to embarrass them.

Call them out but passive-aggressively. Say to them you’ve heard someone is spreading rumors about you and what sort of lowlife would do that? How can a friend stoop to such levels? They must be insecure and stupid.

13. Rolling eyes/Sighing loudly/Yawning

This sort of passive-aggressive behavior makes the person feel superior. They’re showing boredom or disagreement, but in a conspiratorial way, behind the person’s back.

Bring their behavior to everyone’s attention. Annoy the passive-aggressive perpetrators with comments such as:

‘Have you got something in your eye?’ ‘Oh, *waving hands around* did you forget to brush your teeth today?’ ‘Were you up all night masturbating?’

Final Thoughts

Passive-aggressive behavior is insidious, cowardly, and downright irritating. Fight back with my tips on how to annoy a passive-aggressive person.

Featured image by luis_molinero on Freepik

Janey Davies

Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

Sub-editor & staff writer at Learning Mind

Janey Davies has been published online for over 10 years. She has suffered from a panic disorder for over 30 years, which prompted her to study and receive an Honours degree in Psychology with the Open University. Janey uses the experiences of her own anxiety to offer help and advice to others dealing with mental health issues.