The Purple Light: Top 7 Most Toxic Relationship Patterns You Want to Avoid

Saturday, April 27, 2024

Top 7 Most Toxic Relationship Patterns You Want to Avoid

By Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted on April 27, 2024

Toxic relationship patterns differ from toxic actions. These repetitive behaviors are present in unhealthy relationships, and the patterns reveal truths.

The toxic personality is a complex entity on its own, presenting various negative behaviors. When operating within a relationship, this personality style is amplified. Repeated toxic behavior reinforces control, power, and manipulation. It builds patterns that strengthen its poisonous foundation.

Toxic relationship patterns to avoid

Most of the time, toxic relationship patterns include mutually toxic individuals. Toxic relationships actually go through three stages: idealizing, devaluing, and discarding.

There are many signs of a toxic relationship, including jealousy, manipulation, control issues, and gaslighting. Yes, there are more signs than that too. However, toxic relationship patterns must also be recognized when taking notes, introspecting, or recognizing numerous red flags. Here are a few to look out for.

1. Demand/withdrawal

This pattern looks normal to many people. It’s the classic “crying wife” and “silent husband” image that comes to mind. Of course, this applies to any relationship dynamic; one partner is nagging while the other seems cold.

And these actions, when repeated, create a toxic relationship pattern. It’s a situation where nothing really gets resolved and control remains firmly with one partner while the other continues to suffer.

2. Jealousy and insecurity

While some people find jealousy cute, it’s not. One of the most common patterns in toxic relationships is the duo of jealousy and insecurity. One cannot survive without the other.

If you’re constantly worried about your partner cheating on you, then it may be time to find another partner instead of bickering about these issues.

Living a life like this will destroy your self-worth and create emotional scars to carry to the next relationship. It’s best to deal with this sooner than later, by recognizing this toxic relationship pattern.

3. Frequent aggression

One of the most dangerous toxic relationship patterns is frequent anger or outbursts. This is also one of the most common features. Living with someone who has frequent aggressive behaviors makes life unpredictable and stressful.

This anger may not be directed toward the partner at the beginning of the relationship. But as commitments are made, aggression becomes more intertwined with the relationship itself. Aggression comes with threats of leaving, accusations about things you didn’t do, and an inability to communicate properly.

4. Don’t adhere to rules

One toxic relationship pattern involves not being able to submit to authority. This includes your boundaries in a relationship. If you’re in a union with someone who keeps disregarding the rules you’ve set for yourself, beware. This is a sign of something much worse.

They will think everything they decide to do is perfect, but will never respect your decisions. A toxic person who has patterns like this will never think the rules apply to them. Behavior such as this often leads to public embarrassment and even aggression.

5. Lack of empathy

A lack of empathy is more than just the inability to feel for others, it’s also the inability to feel one’s sadness. This toxic relationship pattern makes it almost impossible for partners to apologize to each other.

It seems one cannot take the blame for actions that upset the other. It is also quite difficult for partners to see each other’s perspective or feel sorry for things that happened. The lack of empathy is a pattern that leaves those in toxic relationships feeling empty.

6. Manipulation

Gaslighting is one of the most notable forms of toxic manipulation often observed in relationships. If their significant other can convince one partner that they are crazy, then manipulating them is easier.

But there are many other forms of manipulation, including control, playing the victim, and even silent treatment. Toxic relationship patterns are built on a foundation of manipulation, making all other actions much easier to use.

7. Deception

Lies are common with toxic relationship patterns. Oh, and beware of the “little white lies” These count too! You see, lies are sometimes the glue that keeps this debacle going.

Partners who lie to each other get used to being in a relationship that lacks trust. They easily use each other, deceiving and pretending that everything is fine… until it’s not. You will want to avoid someone who seems to think this sort of behavior is normal. And trust me, many people live like this every day.

Toxic relationship patterns: Help!

If you’ve found yourself in a toxic relationship, take heed. You’ll want to change things before you or your partner have developed negative patterns.

While it is possible to change, cultivating a healthy relationship together, it’s not always the best avenue. Some people aren’t interested in being better human beings and considering other perspectives. Many people are set in their ways, carrying emotional baggage from decades before.

To save yourself from toxic relationship patterns, study these patterns above to learn what’s unhealthy and what’s best for you. You cannot fix another person, nor would you want to try. It’s best to remember your self-worth and prioritize this over others. After all, you cannot help others until you first help yourself.

However, if your partner is willing to seek professional help with you, there may be hope. If you are in a toxic relationship, there are many places available online or by phone to give you expert advice. I leave you with love and positive vibes for your journey of improvement.

Be blessed.

Sherrie Hurd

About the author:

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

Staff writer at Learning Mind
Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.

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