8 Tricks Emotionally Intelligent People Use to Handle Arguments
By Sherrie Hurd, A.A.
learning-mind.com
Posted on September 19, 2023
Posted on September 19, 2023
Emotionally intelligent people have an unseen arsenal. Well, they have the ability to logically charm and reason their way through almost any issue.
I think the major trick used by emotionally intelligent people is self-control. They have so much self-control that negative situations don’t automatically shake their deepest feelings. Arguments become an equation they must solve, and not a nerve-wracking situation that leaves scars.
Secrets Emotionally Intelligent People Use to Handle Arguments
I admire an emotionally intelligent person, as I can lose my cool easily sometimes. I am hotheaded. There, I said it. So, what sort of tricks are these guys playing, you might ask? Let’s take a look.
1. Use small talk
Most arguments rarely include small talk. Let’s face it, if one of your friends is mad at you, then they probably don’t care about the weather or current events. Hey, but emotionally intelligent people are going to make small talk, anyway.
If you want to be more emotionally intelligent, instead of jumping right into the argument, take some time to say “Hello, it’s nice to see you”. It’s so much harder for someone to be insulting when you say something nice, you know. And yes, confusion may be their first response to this too.
2. Tap into positivity
When you’re in a disagreement with another person, attempt to tap into their positivity. Yeah, they may be angry or frustrated about something, but deep down, there is still a positive seed.
Smile at them. A smile can change the atmosphere and even make the other party reconsider their own standpoints. Smiling can even make people forget why they are angry for a moment. This moment may just give them the time they need to cool down and think straight.
3. Manage thoughts
An emotionally intelligent person can manage their thoughts. While most of us get into arguments and our thoughts become cluttered, this individual already has the end goal of the confrontation in mind. They also consider all possibilities and questions, with choices and answers for those situations.
With all these things cataloged and ready to go, emotionally intelligent people can stop an argument before it even starts. This is a win right from the start.
4. Control reactions
Every action has a reaction, right? Yes, it does. However, reactions do not have to be inflated and dramatized. This is how a person loses an argument really fast. How you react to accusations or insults shows your inner strength.
Emotionally intelligent people have a firm foundation of feelings, primed for proper reaction. They are not easily angered or get their feelings hurt by what someone else says. They understand that their reactions are powerful if used in the correct way — these individuals are stable, logical, and calm.
5. Try on perspectives
An emotionally intelligent person isn’t always right, and they know that. So, another trick they utilize to handle arguments is they strive to see other’s perspectives. They know that everyone is an individual with personal ideas, morals, and beliefs.
With that being said, people with stable emotions believe that a person’s perspectives should be respected and considered. This also means that it’s profitable to have an open mind without judgment.During an argument, they can listen to the other person and understand where they’re coming from, possibly coming to an agreement.
6. Leverage emotions (both yours and theirs)
One of the tricks of an emotionally intelligent person is the ability to leverage emotions. When you leverage emotions, you essentially try to bring out the feelings that are most useful for each situation in an argument.
If you need the other person to laugh, then you bring that out by telling a joke to lighten the mood. You can call it a step up from just offering a smile. You can also leverage your own emotions when needed, tapping into happiness or contentedness at will.
7. They do not pretend
Emotionally intelligent people are also rather honest people when it comes to revealing how much they know. In an argument, you’ll not see them proclaiming things without proof.
So many of us, when in heated arguments, will say untrue things to other people, and this just enrages them more. Being honest during a confrontation can make the other person pause and consider how they should react to the truth.
Truth is powerful, and emotionally intelligent people are aware of this.
8. Strengths and weaknesses
One other vital thing to remember is that emotionally intelligent people know their strengths and weaknesses, including triggers. They understand when to speak and when to listen, according to their vulnerabilities.
During confrontations, they already know how to respond to threats against certain parts of their character. They are also aware of just how resilient those strong places are.
Let’s Try to Be More Emotionally Intelligent!
I think that if we all try to be more emotionally intelligent, we can stop so many confrontations before they start. It just makes sense.I remember my father telling me about the fist fights he got into as a young man, and how he lost them most of the time. I asked him why. He said,
“I don’t know, I was just furious at the moment.”
You see, losing your temper with a head full of conflicting emotions and ideas, yeah, that’s not the winning recipe. It’s so much better to be, you guessed it, cool, calm, and collected.
I think we all can learn so much from emotionally intelligent people and how they handle arguments. But I also think, if anyone is a hothead, there’s hope of getting better. I know I’m still working on it.
Emotionally intelligent people have an unseen arsenal. Well, they have the ability to logically charm and reason their way through almost any issue.
I think the major trick used by emotionally intelligent people is self-control. They have so much self-control that negative situations don’t automatically shake their deepest feelings. Arguments become an equation they must solve, and not a nerve-wracking situation that leaves scars.
Secrets Emotionally Intelligent People Use to Handle Arguments
I admire an emotionally intelligent person, as I can lose my cool easily sometimes. I am hotheaded. There, I said it. So, what sort of tricks are these guys playing, you might ask? Let’s take a look.
1. Use small talk
Most arguments rarely include small talk. Let’s face it, if one of your friends is mad at you, then they probably don’t care about the weather or current events. Hey, but emotionally intelligent people are going to make small talk, anyway.
If you want to be more emotionally intelligent, instead of jumping right into the argument, take some time to say “Hello, it’s nice to see you”. It’s so much harder for someone to be insulting when you say something nice, you know. And yes, confusion may be their first response to this too.
2. Tap into positivity
When you’re in a disagreement with another person, attempt to tap into their positivity. Yeah, they may be angry or frustrated about something, but deep down, there is still a positive seed.
Smile at them. A smile can change the atmosphere and even make the other party reconsider their own standpoints. Smiling can even make people forget why they are angry for a moment. This moment may just give them the time they need to cool down and think straight.
3. Manage thoughts
An emotionally intelligent person can manage their thoughts. While most of us get into arguments and our thoughts become cluttered, this individual already has the end goal of the confrontation in mind. They also consider all possibilities and questions, with choices and answers for those situations.
With all these things cataloged and ready to go, emotionally intelligent people can stop an argument before it even starts. This is a win right from the start.
4. Control reactions
Every action has a reaction, right? Yes, it does. However, reactions do not have to be inflated and dramatized. This is how a person loses an argument really fast. How you react to accusations or insults shows your inner strength.
Emotionally intelligent people have a firm foundation of feelings, primed for proper reaction. They are not easily angered or get their feelings hurt by what someone else says. They understand that their reactions are powerful if used in the correct way — these individuals are stable, logical, and calm.
5. Try on perspectives
An emotionally intelligent person isn’t always right, and they know that. So, another trick they utilize to handle arguments is they strive to see other’s perspectives. They know that everyone is an individual with personal ideas, morals, and beliefs.
With that being said, people with stable emotions believe that a person’s perspectives should be respected and considered. This also means that it’s profitable to have an open mind without judgment.
During an argument, they can listen to the other person and understand where they’re coming from, possibly coming to an agreement.
6. Leverage emotions (both yours and theirs)
One of the tricks of an emotionally intelligent person is the ability to leverage emotions. When you leverage emotions, you essentially try to bring out the feelings that are most useful for each situation in an argument.
If you need the other person to laugh, then you bring that out by telling a joke to lighten the mood. You can call it a step up from just offering a smile. You can also leverage your own emotions when needed, tapping into happiness or contentedness at will.
7. They do not pretend
Emotionally intelligent people are also rather honest people when it comes to revealing how much they know. In an argument, you’ll not see them proclaiming things without proof.
So many of us, when in heated arguments, will say untrue things to other people, and this just enrages them more. Being honest during a confrontation can make the other person pause and consider how they should react to the truth.
Truth is powerful, and emotionally intelligent people are aware of this.
8. Strengths and weaknesses
One other vital thing to remember is that emotionally intelligent people know their strengths and weaknesses, including triggers. They understand when to speak and when to listen, according to their vulnerabilities.
During confrontations, they already know how to respond to threats against certain parts of their character. They are also aware of just how resilient those strong places are.
Let’s Try to Be More Emotionally Intelligent!
I think that if we all try to be more emotionally intelligent, we can stop so many confrontations before they start. It just makes sense.
I remember my father telling me about the fist fights he got into as a young man, and how he lost them most of the time. I asked him why. He said,
“I don’t know, I was just furious at the moment.”
You see, losing your temper with a head full of conflicting emotions and ideas, yeah, that’s not the winning recipe. It’s so much better to be, you guessed it, cool, calm, and collected.
I think we all can learn so much from emotionally intelligent people and how they handle arguments. But I also think, if anyone is a hothead, there’s hope of getting better. I know I’m still working on it.
Sherrie Hurd
Sherrie Hurd
About the author:
Staff writer at Learning Mind
Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.
Copyright © 2012-2023 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
About the author:
Staff writer at Learning Mind
Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.
Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.
Copyright © 2012-2023 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
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