The Purple Light: 10 Signs Your Friend Secretly Dislikes You

Tuesday, January 16, 2024

10 Signs Your Friend Secretly Dislikes You

By Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted on January 16, 2024

If a friend is sending a bad vibe or seems a bit off, could it be that this person secretly dislikes you? It can be true. Sometimes friends aren’t what they seem.

When someone secretly dislikes you, know this: they are sending signals. The problem is that you might not be getting the hint. Sometimes they show their distaste for you in subtle ways. Yet sometimes, they are obvious about their hatred. So, how can you determine the truth?

Signs someone secretly dislikes you

Well, there are several ways to determine if someone secretly dislikes you. They may send weird vibrations or they may make jokes that are actually passive-aggressive statements.

There are so many ways to discover that your friends or family members don’t like you. Here are 10 signs to help you weed them out:

1. They do not smile at you

This may seem petty, but it can be a sign. You will notice that a person may smile at everyone else, but when they turn to you, the smile drops. This is a sudden indicator that something just isn’t quite right. You may also notice that they carry a scowl on their face.

Sometimes people have bad days, but if they always frown in your direction, they probably don’t like you as much as you thought.

2. You’re excluded from conversations

Have you ever tried to talk to one particular person in a group of people, and this person completely ignored you?

Well, that happened to me a couple of weeks ago. This lady spoke to everyone else in the group, and when I asked her a question, she looked me right in the face and turned away. So, to check this, I spoke to her again. The same thing happened.

When someone secretly doesn’t like you, they will pretend like you don’t exist and refuse to include you in conversations.

3. They mock you

One thing that can be worse than being ignored is being mocked. When someone secretly dislikes you, they will make fun of you. There could be a couple of reasons for this. Maybe they feel threatened by you and they’re trying to bring you down. Or your presence could irritate them.

If you have a friend who does this, consider that they may not like you as much as you like them.

4. Strange eye contact

If a person has trouble making eye contact with you, then they may not like you. This is even true when it comes to family members. On the other hand, some people make hard steady eye contact that verges on the confrontational. It seems aggressive.

Either the lack of or too much eye contact can be a problem. Maybe they are pretending to be someone they’re not, which means they’re not your friend.

5. You’re getting back-handed compliments

Do you know what a back-handed compliment is? Well, in case you don’t, let me explain. A back-handed compliment is when someone seems to say something nice to you but always has to add a negative aspect to the compliment. For instance,

“You’d look great if you lost a little weight”, is a back-handed compliment.

And guess what, those who pretend to be your friend will often do this. Have you heard these types of things before? If so, you should do a friendship inventory.

6. They’re spreading rumors about you

It hurts so much when you find out that a friend is spreading horrible rumors about you. Well, let me tell you the truth. That’s not really your friend. When a person spreads rumors about you, it should be obvious that this is someone who secretly dislikes you. Because a person who really likes you would never do that.

7. They make excuses to never socialize

It’s normal to cancel plans every once in a while, but when a person cancels all the time, you may start to wonder if they even like you at all. Chances are, they don’t.

I cannot say 100% that people who cancel spending time with you are fake friends. It could be that things just keep happening. But, if you pair this with other signs, it could be that your “friend” secretly dislikes you.

8. They only share small talk

When someone secretly dislikes you, they will not share their personal issues or insight. No, they save that for those they really like.

For example, this person you think is your friend will only talk about the weather, the latest fashion, or food. A real friend will talk about their feelings, relationships, and even deeper things. While it’s not always true, this is a pretty good indicator.

9. Details about you don’t matter

True friends will remember the little things about you, like your birthday, hobbies, and interests. And yes, sometimes even genuine friends forget important dates. But those who pretend to like you will never really remember the most important aspects of your life, and this hurts.

When you seek support in difficult times, they won’t have a clue about your true character or how to help you.

10. They never initiate contact

Here’s a big one. And I bet some of you aren’t going to like hearing this, but oh well. Someone who secretly dislikes you will never initiate contact. You will always be calling them, texting them, or going to visit.

I venture to say that some of these fake friends aren’t even aware of what your house looks like or where you live. And I’m telling you, if they live around the corner, and they’ve never seen your place, I doubt they really like you. I know, right? Ouch!

Who are your real friends?

Those who like you will make sure you know that they do. While loyal friends sometimes do a couple of the things that I listed above, they are not consistently doing these negative things.

Life happens sometimes. However, if you have a friend who’s ticking off every one of these indicators, then beware. Please use these signs to discover who’s in your corner and who’s just using you. You might be surprised by what you find out.

I wish you the best.

Featured image by cookie_studio on Freepik

Sherrie Hurd

About the author:

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

Staff writer at Learning Mind
Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.

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