The Purple Light: A Judgmental Person Will Often Use These 10 Phrases

Sunday, August 18, 2024

A Judgmental Person Will Often Use These 10 Phrases

By Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted on August 18, 2024

It may not be obvious when you’re dealing with a judgmental person. But if you pay attention to the way people say things, it might leave you with a few clues.

While masquerading as a caring and sweet individual, a judgmental person will gradually have you questioning most of your decisions. Some cues include raised eyebrows or the silent treatment. But these are pretty obvious.

However, sometimes judgment comes as seemingly innocent statements.

A judgmental person does not mean well

Regardless of the words they say to you, a judgmental person does not mean well. They want you to doubt yourself because, to them, their views and opinions are the most important, if not the only ones that matter.

Sometimes judgmental people want full control or want to ruin your life. And their covert language can slip into the conversation effortlessly. Before you know it, you’re being manipulated to think as they do. Here are a few phrases to watch out for.

1. “Are you sure about that?”

Here’s a funny statement. A judgmental person will have you second-guessing your decisions all day long if you let them. They may say they are just being supportive and want you to think things through, but in reality, they’re jealous and do not want you to succeed.

Think about that for a moment and then read the statement again.

2. “I didn’t know you were into that sort of thing.”

Oh, this is just devious. They seem surprised by what you told them, don’t they? Maybe they have a shocked look on their faces. But listen, you probably aren’t doing anything wrong. They’re just upset that they cannot do the same thing for some reason.

Maybe they’re curious, but when you decide to do something adventurous, they turn judgmental instead of supporting you. Go figure.

3. “I have a much better idea.”

While this may seem harmless, like someone wanting to give their opinion, it can be judgmental. When someone says this, they’re implying that they have the best option or solution for a given problem. They’re one-upping everyone else in the conversation.

4. “If I were you…”

Let me finish that statement. “If I were you, I would do it this way.” A judgmental person believes that you should listen to them because they know what’s best for you.

The statement may seem like friendly advice, but it’s just the beginning of a whole tirade of being a better you than you can be for yourself. If that makes sense. They have already appointed themselves as ruler of your life.

5. “That’s a different style”

Have you ever received a compliment that didn’t sound right? Well, you were probably the victim of a judgmental person. They have a knack for giving backhanded compliments and disguising insults. What they mean is,

“I think that outfit looks bad or weird”, or even worse, “I wouldn’t be caught dead in that.”

Yes, they are judging you for your choice of fashion, your hairstyles, or your choice of accessories.

6. “I would never do that.”

Whatever you’ve done, the judgmental person believes it was a mistake. Better yet, they want you to know that they’ve never made such a “mistake” themselves.

What’s more, they want you to know that they are above doing such things, and would know better. They probably look down on what you’ve done, considering it deplorable. And if you’re talking on the phone, you can smell their judgmental stench from a mile away.

7. “It’s just common sense.”

This statement usually comes right after the judgmental person offers their opinion on any given subject. This phrase means that anyone else’s opinion doesn’t matter.

The judgmental person thinks what they say is more intelligent than what anyone else can offer. They are dismissing any possible differing opinions.

8. “To each their own.”

While this phrase may seem harmless, it can be quite the opposite. If a judgmental person says this, what they mean is,

“I do not agree, nor do I like what a person is doing.”

And honestly, it’s none of their business how others spend their time or what others do. But this doesn’t stop the judgmental individual from making this unnecessary statement.

9. “Some people have too much time to spare.”

This statement is a jab at how people choose to spend their time. Maybe you like to hang out with friends every week and go shopping. A judgmental person may say you’re wasting time with this activity.

In their mind, if they do not partake in this activity, it’s a bad idea. It all seems to go back to what they will and will not do with their free time.

10. “My goodness. Bless their heart.”

I was born and raised in the southern U.S., and I can attest to this statement being judgmental…sometimes.

First of all, it can be a show of genuine sympathy. However, in most cases, it tends to be patronizing, expressing pity and criticism instead of sympathy. It’s like they’re saying,

“Poor thing. You just don’t measure up, do you?”

So now, how cruel does that sound?

Let’s all try not to be so judgmental

Life would be more pleasant if we minded our own business, don’t you think? I believe this. And if you’re wondering if someone in your life is judgmental, they will make one or more similar remarks to the phrases I listed above. But the key is to not let these people bring you down.

Please keep enjoying things in your life. How you spend your time and who you spend your time with is your business and yours alone. So, when someone says things like this, it’s best to just let it go and concentrate on making yourself happy.

Go out there and conquer the world if you like. And don’t let others make you feel guilty about it, either.

Sherrie Hurd

About the author:

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

Staff writer at Learning Mind
Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.

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