Posted on August 22, 2025
Patricia Cota-Robles
-“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” ~Frederick Douglass
We all experience struggles. Some are seemingly insurmountable. Others, like mine, are comparatively small. Regardless of their scale, it’s what we learn from our struggles that counts.
Mine began while at university in London. Originally from a small town in the Welsh valleys, the move to the big city was a scary one for me.
A mum’s boy at heart, I didn’t deal well with being so far away from home. I’m also an introvert who didn’t embrace the uni lifestyle of drinking to failure, so I didn’t make many friends early on.
The workload was tough too, and the course content didn’t inspire me one bit. I had never really considered what I wanted out of life, but I quickly discovered that rocks and complex math weren’t part it. Still, I pushed through, partly because I was stubborn but mainly because I was scared to fail.
As I said, my struggles weren’t monumental. My first-world problems pale in comparison to others, but at the time it was hard to see past them. I felt trapped and stressed out.
As a coping mechanism for the stress, I turned to my safe haven: sports. Martial arts, football, weight lifting—anything that allowed my brain to shut off temporarily.
What started as an escape quickly became unhealthy. Training sometimes three times a day was only adding to the problem, and eventually things broke down.
I started developing a mouthful of painful ulcers regularly, making it difficult to talk and eat. They came with bouts of fatigue and digestive issues too, and one particularly nasty flare up led to a hospital visit.
A few blood tests and examinations later, the news came back that I likely had Crohn’s disease, an inflammatory condition that can affect any part of the digestive tract (from the mouth, to the other end).
Crohn’s can be pretty miserable. Oftentimes, sufferers face a lifetime of medications and surgery. I knew that wasn’t a path I wanted. I decided right then (in a naïve and almost boisterous manner) that Crohn’s or not, I would beat this myself.
I took a step back to examine the big picture.
In my eyes, I had these habits that were making me ill and keeping me on a path that I didn’t want. To change my trajectory, I just needed to alter my habits. If only it was that simple…
I soon found out the hard way that habit changing isn’t the easiest pastime. After many failed attempts, I always came back to the same question: How can we create habits that are lasting rather than ones that phase out after a few weeks?
Eventually, through trial and error, I was able to come up with a few answers, and gradually began transforming my life. I started eating a plant-based diet, and altered how I trained, which gave me more energy.
I read more, worried less, and meditated regularly, which reduced my stress levels and allowed me to see more clearly the road I wanted to take.
Fast forward a few years to the present day, things have vastly improved. Although I still occasionally get health issues, the symptoms are much easier to deal with.
Despite repeated blood tests and investigations, I haven’t been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. Maybe it was an overzealous initial prognosis, or perhaps I dodged a bullet by changing my habits. Either way, I’m happy that I went through the struggle. It taught me a lot, and allowed me to create the life I‘m living today.
If you’re feeling a little lost right now, or you’re struggling to implement changes, you may benefit from applying these five important lessons I’ve learned about forming habits.
Most of us practice unconditional love toward our close friends and family, regardless of their flaws, but it’s rare that we show the same acceptance toward ourselves.
Instead, we beat ourselves up over every mistake we make, and every little defect. Our big belly, our bad eating habits, our laziness, and inability to manifest change. We waste so much energy focusing on these things, energy that could be used productively elsewhere.
Perhaps the most important step in habit changing is to first accept yourself for who you are, flaws and all. Those imperfections are what make us human.
Instead of talking yourself down, try treating yourself as you would a loved one. Be forgiving, and realize that wherever you are right now, it’s okay.
You’re more likely to succeed in making changes if they’re coming from a place of self-respect rather than self-hatred.
It’s easy to lose sight of what’s really important to us. We’re constantly comparing ourselves to others. We get a neatly packaged glimpse into their life on Facebook, and form a false idea of perfection that we should live up to.
We then attempt to make a load of changes to become more like that person, without considering why. We set goals that are not aligned with our values, resulting in discomfort and dis-ease, and we never commit to them long term because they’re not that important to us.
Be you, not a second-rate version of someone else. First, determine your values by asking yourself a few questions. What would you do if money weren’t an issue? Where are you most organized and reliable? What do you surround yourself with?
Some people value their health above all else. Others are more concerned with their family, or making lots of money, or a mixture of all the above.
Whatever’s most important to you, set goals that align with it. For example, if you want to eat healthily, but your highest value is caring for your family, how can you reframe that goal?
Eating healthier may allow you to spend more quality time with your loved ones, or help you do a better job of looking after them. That’s your strong reason “why” that will excite you and inspire you to move forward.
Willpower is not an infinite energy source, and when forming habits we should avoid tapping into it as much as possible.
I’m a sucker for getting over zealous and trying to make many big changes at once, but rarely does this ever lead to long-term success. Lasting changes are made from many small steps added together, not from a flick of the switch.
Rather than fixating on an end goal, plan your next few steps in that general direction, then execute them. If you want to eat healthily, maybe start by changing your breakfast, and nothing else. When you’re fully comfortable with that, perhaps begin to adjust your lunch.
Take your time, and don’t be tempted to bite off more than you can chew. Commit to the long haul rather than looking for the quick fix. It’s a more satisfying process, and each small step you take, you build your self-esteem, and your ability to produce further change.
I’ve always had the tendency to try to tackle problems on my own. I thought asking for help was a sign of weakness, but the opposite is true. Building community is an important part of forming habits. It was only when I involved others that I really started to see success.
Perhaps tell a reliable friend about the next few steps you’re taking with your new habit, and ask them to hold you accountable with weekly progress reports. Maybe even introduce rewards. This can give you that extra push you need to succeed.
Many of us grow up fearing failure. The reality is that failure can be a good thing, but we’re not taught how to deal with it properly. For most young people, failure is met with the less than inspiring statement of ”Oh well, better luck next time.” They’re left feeling deflated, with low self-esteem and nothing to act upon.
You’ll likely fail several times when changing your habits, just like I did (and still do). First, realize it’s okay. Those road bumps are a vital part of the learning process.
Secondly, search for the lesson. Failure teaches us what we can do to improve so we can come back next time as an upgraded version of ourselves. Maybe it means altering your goal to make it a little easier.
Make your adjustments, pick yourself up, and get back on the path to fulfilling your passions.
By Luke Jones
Posted on August 21, 2025
As we move closer to this weekends new moon there is a rising agitation in the energy which is pressing on old wounds and subconscious emotions and fears. What is rising is calling for release and it essential that we monitor our reactions and refrain from falling into reactive behaviours, which will only inflame and escalate what we are feeling and experiencing. The new moon will bring a renewed ability to act with clarity as whatever is being clouded by confusion or uncertainty becomes clear.
Allow yourself to sit with the discomfort of what is rising by acknowledging and accepting what is without trying to immediately eliminate the feelings. Observe with curiosity rather than judgment what is surfacing. Be open, receptive and willing to move beyond the surface level observations and uncover the roots of your discomfort, and the limiting beliefs and patterns that may be holding you back. Be mindful of any feelings of contraction, resistance or tension recognizing that this is your old self struggling to adapt to a new, more expansive state of being. Maintaining a balanced perspective will enable you to expand and then respond with greater wisdom and compassion.
Much love
Kate
Kate
spirit-pathways.com
Posted on August 20, 2025
Today there is a subtle shifting in the energies, and a lightening of the heaviness which will come as a welcome relief. In the last few months we’ve been taken through the fires of transformation where the old beliefs, habits, patterns, ignorance and limitations that no longer serve us and need to be released have been highlighted. It has been a time that has demanded conscious effort and the willingness to change. The changes cannot just be internal and must now also be reflected in our choices, actions, relationships and how we interact with the world. As we move deeper into the week, and closer to the new moon, we will feel a sense of release and also a building of our strength and power. We are being urged to persevere through any difficulties with self-awareness while recognizing the progress we have made.
Facing fears, stepping out of old comfort zones and embracing new experiences requires courage and a willingness to confront the unknown. Today focus on cultivating inner peace, emotional regulation and remember that it is best to break down the changes you need to make into small, manageable steps. Regularly assess your current state of being and adjust where necessary. It is natural to feel uncomfortable with the new, whether it’s a new situation, idea or even a good change. This discomfort often stems from a natural resistance to stepping out of one’s comfort zone and the fear of the unknown. That feeling of healthy discomfort is often a sign of progress and growth. Question your fears and doubts and know that with time you will adapt to the new and find greater ease and flow in the uncertainty that change often brings.
Much love
Kate
Kate
spirit-pathways.com
Everything we are experiencing is pushing us in some way to break free of our usual ways of being and doing. We are being urged to open ourselves up to a whole new way of seeing, and experiencing life which asks us to take risks and to move beyond the comfort of old roles, routines and outdated ways of living and being.
The energies in August have brought more light, more intensity, more awareness and a deeper awakening. Our intuition and inner knowing has been strengthened expanding our perspective and giving us a wider view of ourselves and our lives. Beliefs that we’ve held as truth are now being seen as limiting. Behaviours that may have served us at some point no longer feel like they do. And attachments that keep us from moving forward are being identified.
These are unpredictable, exciting and in moments bewildering times. Things are changing quickly and as a result, you may be feeling restless and impatient with yourself, others and the situations and circumstances you have outgrown. And yet, there is more that needs to come to light, more for you to discover and more that needs to be seen. Do not attempt to rush ahead. Breakthroughs are coming. Allow yourself to shift from striving and forcing and into a space of surrender and trust where you are open and receptive to change.
Much love
Kate
Kate
spirit-pathways.com
Posted on August 19, 2025
So much becomes possible when we just show up regularly.
Some of the best people I’ve known are people who just show up for others, regularly. They show up, take care of things, do their best. And the lives of others get changed.
When we’re struggling with our lives, often it’s a struggle to show up for our lives.
So today, I’m going to recommend the idea of building the simple habit of showing up. Simple, but of course not always easy.
If you can show up regularly, things will start to change.
Showing up can be applied to any area of our lives:
Fitness: When I wanted to start running, my mantra was to just lace up my shoes and get out the door. I didn’t have to run if I didn’t feel like it — I just needed to show up. Eventually I ran my first marathon this way! The same thing applies if you want to work out at the gym, or do yoga regularly, or play a sport. Just show up, and you’ll see progress.
Finances: For me, this looks like opening my budget app every day (You Need a Budget is what I recommend) and sorting through transactions, making sure I’m on plan, making payments and adjustments to the plan as needed. It takes 5-10 minutes a day. For someone else, it might be some other small steps — but showing up regularly can make a huge difference in getting finances in order.
Meditation: Practicing mindfulness through meditation can have a huge impact on your life — but only if you’re showing up regularly and practicing. I’ve gone through many periods where I struggled to show up, mostly because I always feel too busy. But if I can remind myself that all I need to do is get my butt on the cushion, then my meditation practice starts to happen.
Big project: A writer friend of mine told me that he just needed to get his butt on the chair at a certain time and the book gets written. That’s what showing up for a project looks like.
Clutter: If you have mountains of clutter … can you take just 10 minutes a day to clear out a little of it? Slowly the mountains shrink to molehills.
Email: Overflowing inbox? Have a session every day where you clear out the less important emails (archive, quick replies) and try to reply to a few of the more important ones.
Learning: We learn best when we’re consistently showing up. Whether it’s reading through a textbook or studying Anki flashcards, you’ll see great progress by just showing up regularly.
You get the picture. A habit of showing up regularly changes any area of your life — including relationships, your career, your pile of small tasks that can feel overwhelming, and more.
So how do we build this as a habit? Well, intention and practice.
Start with the intention: pick one area (any of the areas above would be good) and have the intention to just show up in that area every day (or at least, most days). It’s not about perfection. Just start with the intention. Write it down.
Then practice:
It’s an underappreciated skill, but I think showing up regularly changes everything.
