The Purple Light: 13 Non-Verbal Signs a Coworker Likes You but Is Hiding It

Saturday, August 3, 2024

13 Non-Verbal Signs a Coworker Likes You but Is Hiding It

By Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

Posted on August 3, 2024

Did you know, the average person spends 30% of their time at work? And since we form relationships with people who are familiar, it’s not surprising to find our partners in the workplace, but if you suck at body language (me included), how do you know when someone is interested?

Some companies frown upon workplace romances and have rules against them, so your coworker might hide their feelings, making it even more challenging to identify them. If you need some help, here are 13 subtle signs a coworker likes you.

13 Signs a Coworker Likes You

1. They raise their eyebrows when they see you.

The eyebrow flash is a universal sign of nonverbal attraction. It’s an unconscious gesture that lasts one fifth of a second. Often paired with a smile, it means the person is happy to see you.

2. They show their top front teeth when they smile at you.

Have you noticed that when you smile at someone you fancy, your top front teeth show? This usually happens during the first stages of attraction, but it’s involuntary and a fascinating sign to look out for.

3. They look at you when they tell a joke to the entire team.

People tend to look at their favorite person when laughing. Studies also suggest someone who likes you will automatically look at you when telling a joke.

4. “I saw this and thought of you.”

Do they remember little details of your life? Do they mention your previous remarks or tell you stuff they think you’ll like? When we’re interested in someone, we want to know more about them.

5. They groom themselves when you approach them.

You can spot signs that a coworker likes you by paying attention to what they do when you approach them. Self-grooming is a dead giveaway.

We want to look our best to people we find attractive, so we’ll straighten our clothes, smooth our hair, brush imaginary dust from our shoulders or knees, or even straighten up and flick our hair back.

6. They tilt their head to one side when you’re talking.

You know when dogs tilt their heads to one side? It looks as if they’re concentrating or that they’re curious. It’s the same with humans.

We instinctively tilt our heads when we are keen to know more. This could mean you’re telling a captivating story, or it’s one of the signs a coworker likes you.

7. They are touchy / feely with you.

Our body language gives away our thoughts and emotions. For example, we only let people we like into our personal space. Watch for gentle touches on the arm, shoulder, back or knees, accidentally brushing up against you (not in a pervy way) or being close. These are all signs a coworker likes you.

8. They mirror your body movements.

You can test this theory yourself if you want proof that your coworker likes you. It’s reliable because when we’re attracted to someone, we imitate their movements.

Try changing how you stand or sit, for example, leaning against a wall or resting your head on your left hand and see if the other person copies you.

9. They use the same words you do or copy your accent.

People who are attracted to you will not only mirror your movements but also pick up on slight variations in your speech and start using them.

Pay attention if your coworker includes words you often use. It’s a quick way of forming a connection. You’ll often see detectives using the same vernacular as suspects to create a rapport.

10. They laugh a lot around you.

Humans find laughter attractive. Women like men who can make them laugh, and men like women who laugh at their jokes. But there’s another reason humor is sexy; when we laugh, it shows we like someone and knowing someone likes you makes you like them even more.

“If you ask people about their experience of falling in love, over 90 percent will say that a major factor was discovering that the other person liked them.”

– Dr Arthur Aron

11. They keep the dialogue going.

If someone likes you, they’ll want to keep talking to you. For example, a question at the end of a text message is their way of saying ‘let’s keep talking’.

You: “Thanks for sending that invoice over.”

Not interested: “No problem.”

Interested: “Sure, no problem. Did you get the returns finished in time?”

12. They are always present or hanging around you.

According to the proximity effect, we find people who are physically near us more attractive. This is because we like things that are familiar, and a close proximity allows more interactions.

“The more a person sees something (or someone), the more they are disposed to like it. This favoring of familiarity is a psychological bias called the mere-exposure effect.”

– Bryan Lufkin, BBC writer

But this principle also works the other way. We gravitate to the things we like, and we want to spend more time with them.

13. Their voice changes when they speak to you.

Watch out for subtle changes in a person’s voice which show attraction. For example, speaking in a lower tone is one of the signs a male coworker likes you but is hiding it, and softening the voice is a sign a female coworker likes you.

Final Thoughts

It’s difficult to spot the signs a coworker likes you, especially if they’re trying to hide it. But there are a few subtle signals that give away a coworker’s intentions without them realizing. You can learn to recognize the signals and perhaps move the potential relationship forward.

Janey Davies

Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

Sub-editor & staff writer at Learning Mind

Janey Davies has been published online for over 10 years. She has suffered from a panic disorder for over 30 years, which prompted her to study and receive an Honours degree in Psychology with the Open University. Janey uses the experiences of her own anxiety to offer help and advice to others dealing with mental health issues.

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