Why Do I Feel So Unloved?
Jeshua (Jesus, Isa, ...)
Channel: Judith Coates
Posted on February 20, 2023
I am the one known as Jeshua ben Joseph. Jesus you have called me and some other names as well.
And it is in great joy that I come to abide with you this evening in your timing as you have chosen once again to call me fourth. Great joy of remembrance, right? With dwelling in the heart, the heart of love. Knowing that in truth that is what and all we are as the one, the one holy child from the Divinity known as the Father.
In this evening we will speak about again who you are, why you are. Yes, I have heard your questions. I have heard you sometimes when there has been a heaviness of question and wondering, “Why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing? I’m doing the best I can but it doesn’t feel like it’s all. It doesn’t feel like I am doing everything I signed up for.” And in truth you are.
Every time you look upon another one and you smile, you are gifting them with the remembrance of who and what and how you are. The remembrance of the one holy Child come forth to have a human experience as is your choice.
In some lifetimes, you have been the pussycat and very much into the oneness of I Am. “It is time to feed me” type of thing. And many lifetimes you have experimented with different form of life — sometimes small, sometimes the giant as you call it — to know everything there is to know about the creative One — capital “O.”
You have said, “I want to play. I want to know love. I want to know adventure to the point where I understand and know that I am calling forth everything in my experience. And to call it good.” A lot of times you say, “Why did I ask for this?” I have heard my beloved friend and teacher, the one you know as Judith, say even about allowing me to speak through her, “Why did I ask for this?” It is for the adventure of it. For the love of it. For the priceless being of knowing divinity.
“But Jeshua I don’t feel very divine, especially when I’m frustrated. And I have a few choice words to say.” Yes, I have heard them.
All of you have your litany of what you go through from time to time and you are in process now of changing that litany. You are changing it because you have said, “I’ve been told that I am the adventurer. I have been told that I am the creative one. I have been told that I am the One. No, I don’t feel the One when I look and I see particles of myself individuated. How can I be One?”
I have heard you asking. I have heard you ruminating as you are processing. Ruminating. You’re good at that. Knowing how to work through the human questions to arrive at the divine understanding. And yes, you are the divine One come forth to have a human experience. You are the one who has said, “I want to know all.” So, when you ask for that there is no thing and no one who can keep it from you.
You are the divine One — capital “O” — and yes, in your playing, you have made what seems to be a whole group of individuated ones to play with. And some of them, they bring up for you right in front of your face a question. “How can I be this and this all at the same time? How can I be the angelic nature and then other times I can be so full of energy because something is not going right? Or it is challenging? How can I be the divine One?”
Well, as you are discovering, part of your divinity is the freedom to express whatever you are living, feeling, knowing, being at a certain moment in what you call time. That is how inventive you are. And it is a great place. Yes, it is a great place to be and to stand back from it and say, “I invented this?” And yes, you have.
You invent as you go along. You are very good at the improv. And there are times when you meet up with someone, a friend perhaps. And you have a certain feeling about that friend, but you are going to be very kind. You’re not going to say how you really, really feel. You are going to keep that hidden. But I share with you that which you already know. You cannot hide. It is felt. It is known. It is seen. So, abide you in love because it feels better. Yes. For everyone, yes.
In truth, beloved Ones, you’re doing well with this human experience. Because in truth, the human experience can be so powerful that there are times when the Christ nature of you wonders, “How is this going to turn out?” I have heard you say that from time to time, “How is this going to turn out? I hope we all come through it as friends.”
And you do because you dwell in the heart. That is your true dwelling place. And the friends recognize that even if you seem a bit short, from time to time, on the love aspect and the equanimity that you want to project, perhaps. A friend knows and loves you. Full stop, period. You do the same for them.
And you laugh about it as you meet someone else. You say, “You know I was playing with –and you use a certain name for that person in this individuation — and you know what came up? And I was so…. But then I thought, ‘You know, if I just take that deep breath it disappears.’”
All of that pent up anger, judgment, criticism disappears. How does that happen? It happens by love and you know that. You feel that. You, yes. And you live in that space. Because truly that is where you live.
You have opted for a lifetime of knowing love by one way or another. All of your human friends, all of your four-footed ones, there is an acknowledgment of the essence of life. And you are the one who makes life either easy, fun, and they love it, or little bit of a challenge from time to time. And what I have seen of the human condition (and I have been there, done that), I know that it feels much better to be in love than it feels to be in anger. But beloved ones, there are times when I stood my ground and I said, in anger, “This is how it has to be.” And then I realized (I made real in my experience), that it could be love expressed with great feeling as well. And a little bit of humor. A little bit of humor goes a long way. Right? Right.
And you have learned and you are learning. You are exercising the feeling, the knowing that no matter what the energy seems to be in the beginning, you can turn it around to a smile. I have seen you do it. I have seen you come to the breakup. “I’m going to…Ahh” Exactly. This is what happens. And ones look upon you and they say, “What were you going to say?” “Oh, I don’t know. I forget. It’s gone.” And truly, it has gone.
You are the makers of your reality. I say that over and over to you. But not only that. You are the makers of the judgment of how that reality is. How it looks, how it feels. And more and more as the time of your lifetime goes by, you find yourself choosing quickly for peace, for the smile, for what feels good. Sometimes you say, “Well, I have to take a stand.” And you do. You take a stand for a minute or two. And then you say, “Okay, enough already. I’ve said my piece.” And you walk off and everybody says, What’s that all about?” And you leave them questioning, wondering. “That felt like it was going to be a volcano. But it wasn’t.”
This is the most wondrous attribute that humans have and will exercise from time to time –knowing that you are the creative one. You are creating the adventure, judging the adventure, and then saying, “Hey, that was pretty good. I liked that adventure.” Or, “Let’s try it again Sam. I want to see what other answers, outcome can be.” That is why sometimes you live over and over the same experience. And ones will say, “Well, you’ve already been there, done that. Why are you doing it again?” “Well, I want to see how well I can do it.” Or whatever.
You’re very good at making reasons. Ah, yes. And if that hits home, that’s fine. But yes, you are very good at finding, “Well, it was needed. He/she needed that lesson.” And who is the he/she?
You have — yes.
(Jeshua has exchange with audience members). Such a good example. As you were pointing out, that you have heard this. You have at least three or four fingers pointing back to the real source. Yes. Well, there are some ones who are adventurers. Yes. Very good. Is that why you did it? There are ones who are very good at the
improv. Oh yes. Ah yeah. And who, beloved One is the God’s self? Yes, you do. Yes, this is true. The god particle come to live what seems to be the human life.
I have seen ones of your brothers and sisters almost stand on their head trying to have the fingers go somewhere else and not have one pointing back. Yes. And you have wondered how did they get to be such acrobatic beings? They practice. Yes.
So, in this evening, we will speak about the individuated God Self. You are that individuated God Self walking on two feet, sometimes walking on four feet, trying to have an experience knowing that you have free choice in every moment. And yes, even if the pussycat does not think that she has free choice, she does. And her choice now is to sit on the sofa by herself. Okay, good, peaceful choice.
You are the pussycat of your life. You are the one who smiles — sometimes with great love, sometimes with a bit of what they call the Cheshire Cat, where I know a secret. I’m not going to tell you, but I know a secret. And you have felt this from time to time where you knew more about what was going on then what the human self seemed to acquiesce to. You have known. Yes, even without standing physically to the one side, “I know that there is more happening here than what I see, or what I understand.”
And that has brought great wisdom and peace to your being. Because in that moment of allowing for peace, the answer to all that you struggle with has an opportunity to run in and say, “But what about?” And you have heard. You have heard those words even. “What about? Well, I never thought about that?” Okay. Think about it.
There is great wisdom in the human condition and the lessons, as you call them, that you provide for yourself and for others. Because nothing is ever done in isolation. Everything is done in the oneness of the whole — wholly One (w-h-o-l-e-y).
Look to your language. There are many clues in your language. You know this. You know this even from studying what can be called the foreign language and how it is approached in different cultures. So, there is much of wisdom, there is much of teaching that is surrounding you if you will stop and breathe and be open to taking in extra — more.
And there is more. That is why some of your slogans are such good reminders of what is going on in your world. To see this (whatever that is) and then to know, to claim, “And there is more.” Because everything that you approach, everything that you judge, you see first a certain way. And then, as you will breathe and be at peace, there will be an idea of further meaning. And if it does not come right away, allow yourself to take the time to ask, to breathe, to be.
Right now, you have a great upheaval in your world. Many who are completing the human condition and have exited. And you have wondered, “Why have certain things happened that now ones are taking their leave of the human condition? And where do they go?” Back into the Allness of the One — to make choice, to experience one more time or to make choice to be. It is called heaven — to be in that place of peace and to (if you are interested) observe. See what the choices are.
There has been a seeming necessity for many lifetimes to make instant decision about something to do. “There is this huge tiger that is running after me and it is going to devour me if he/she catches me. I have to make instant decision. I have to run.” Or I can breathe and know that it is okay. If that which I have brought forth is changed, that is okay to live with also. And to be at peace with whatever.
Many times, there is the feeling that, “I must get out of here. I must save the body; I must find safety. I have to preserve this whatever this is.” And it can be the lion. It can be the flea that lives on the lion. It can be the worm in the dust. Or it can be the dinosaur which you have been because you wanted to know, “How does it feel to be powerful in physicality? How does it feel to be huge, larger than the small things, small creatures?” And it was a simile to allow you to feel that you are creating. And you took from that a message of separation that, “Okay, I am here. I am big and strong. I have power over everything that I see.” Or “I am a small little thing, a cog in the wheel of the existence. Who am I?”
Many, many lifetimes including this one, you have asked, “Who am I? What am I? Why am I?” I have heard you. And these are questions that I asked. You have in the writings, the meager number of writings that you have about me and about my life, the questions that I asked. Why did I spend a long time — 40 days and 40 nights — which is another way of saying a long time — in the wilderness of the world wondering what is this all about? Why am I striving to make sense of something that seems to be senseless? And you came to that one point – love. It is to know the essence of love. I Am that which I look upon with love. And you are. You are everything and all. You are the divine One bringing forth an experience that you call in this essence human.
Have you ever been the antelope? Of course, you have. Have you ever been the monkey? The bear? The worm? Yes. You have wanted to know how does it feel to crawl slowly across Holy Mother Earth and to look up at these gigantic beings that are as trees lumbering around. “Would that I could have that experience.” You asked. It is granted. So, here you are. Some of you short. Some of you are tall. Some of you big and some of you smaller.
You have chosen many lifetimes to experience everything. This aspect, that aspects, all aspects. And when you’re done with that, you have chosen another thing to be an aspect of.
Multitudinous — because you wanted to know.
You wanted to say, “How does it feel to look with eyes?” To be able to have something mirrored back and to interpret it a certain way — as friendly or as a wild beast that sees you as dinner. And to run and to say, “I could run. I can get away. I can save myself, ah, yes, for another day.” Okay. And you have done. You have been. And you will do again probably for the sheer fun of it. So, as you are running away from the majestic beast that wants to have dinner (the dinner on your bones, okay) say, “I am having an adventure.” Well, sure.
You are.
If you are surrounded by “friends” (in quotation marks) who are criticizing everything you do and taking you apart piece by piece, judgment by judgment, you can stay or you can say, “Adieu. See you later.” Or “au revoir.” I like saying that – au revoir. Your language is most revealing and it will show you what you are truly underneath working with.
You are creative. Not only that, but you are the Creator. Take it deeply within the mind that you call your own and know that truly you are the creative One — capital “O.” You are creating this evening, right now as we speak. How does it feel? Okay. Joyful. Wonderful and joyful. You are the ones who are creating it. You are the ones who judge it and put it out there. For this is how it is according to you. You are writing your own script. Call it joyful.
And you are finding that true. You are finding that day by day it seems to get a little bit happier, a little more understandable. At first, when you are the babe in arms, there’s not much that you understand except, “I want to sleep. I want to eat and sleep.” So okay, that is suitable at that time. Later on, you wanted to know does it feel to ride the three-wheeled tricycle. “I want to know. How does it feel to go. Ah, the speed! I’m going down the pathway as fast as whatever.” And then you get into what is called the automobile that is automatic — supposedly – but I’m in charge, okay. And you want to have that experience.
You are great inventors. And if there is not enough excitement in it, you will invent something to be excited about. Make it joyful, make it easy, make it happy. And this is what I see you doing. And the body that you are activating thanks you. Because when you are into stress, it does not feel good. The body doesn’t like it. The body says, “Can we stop and breathe a while?”
“Well, yes, but I have this appointment, I have to hurry up and get to this appointment. And then after that, I’ve said I will meet so and so at the coffee shop. And so, I’ve got to keep going.”
Who says? You do. You say. And if you want to choose anew, you are free to choose anew. To write a new story. That is where you stand in this day and time. You are poised, ready and beginning to write a new story. Because you have said, “Okay, I’ve been there done that,” with different ideas that come up that say “Well, you could do such and such.” “Well, okay. But I’ve tried that already. I’ve been there done that. And I want something joyful, happy, loving. I want to be able to feel at peace.”
And so, as you will ask, you will make it. You will create it and you will walk in peace with your friend.
Call upon me. I will walk with you. Call upon me if you truly understand what I’m saying. And ask of me to provide a body as well.
Now, I walk all the time with you, especially as you have the questions. I walk with you. I answer.
Sometimes you hear me. Sometimes you don’t. But now as you are asking, know — truly claim and know — that I walk with you as you.
“Oh my God, Jeshua. Really? I better watch what I say.”
Perfect. The smile. Perfect. It is beautiful. It gifts everyone who sees that smile with a feeling of light for them to acquiesce, to say, ‘I like that. I like the way that feels. You are my friend. I like the way it feels to walk with my friend.” And that is what you are bringing about for yourself. You are choosing the adventure of love.
You wanted to know this evening, “Who am I? Why am I? Am I making the right choices?” Yes, beloved one you are. Your choices have brought you to this place, this place that says, “I Am ….” And then there’s a blank for you to fill in. “I am the angel on two feet. And I like the socks that I put on my feet.” Most artistic. Beautiful.
Each and every one of you makes the most wonderous lifetime as you go through it. Make it happy.
Why not? Exactly. You have all garnered to yourself. Enough of the years’ experiences. You’ve been there, done that with a lot of choices. And you are ready now for the icing on the cake. “I want to know the goodness.” And that is why you are here this evening with friends who also want to know and to exhibit love, to feel the healing vibrations of love, to walk as friends. To know that truly the essence of life does not end with a demise of the physical body.
You have found that throughout many lifetimes, as the ant, as the winged bird, as the fish in the sea. As the one who is the furry animal in the wild chasing after and having the experience of how does it feel to run in the forest? How does it feel to fly as a butterfly? How does it feel? And when you ask that question, there is a knowing that feels because you have been there. You have done it. And there is a knowing that says, “Yes, I imagine…” and it is a prior knowledge that you are imagining that brings it to a realization of, “That feels real.” While of course.
Allow yourself to adventure. It is safe. You will not lose yourself. And if for a moment or so you feel a bit lost, ask of someone, “Where are we?” And they will tell you. May not be the right answer according to what you want to hear. But they will tell you. You may even say, “Get out of my life. Don’t confuse me with a fact. I want to know the adventure.”
That is truly what you are doing. You have come through so many human experiences, so many lifetimes of form that you know how it feels. You know the adventure. And now you make for yourself the creative situations where all of this knowledge comes back to you (if you need it) and allows you to revel in an adventure.
You are having a human experience at the same time as you have the angelic experience. And no, you don’t have to die in order to be an angel. You are an angel on two feet. You are an angel that flies with the love in the heart. There are times in every day when you feel yourself transported. Where you know there am I as one you look upon — even if it be what you call the four-footed one. How does it feel to look out through the eyes and you’re on the four-feet. “Okay, yes I can kind of imagine.” Of course, you can. You’ve been there, done that.
Why do you have certain dreams? Because you want to adventure one more time without giving up the body. So, you dream. And you have the adventure in the dream. And then you wake up and you say to some, “I just had the most fantastic dream. Boy, it was really far out.” Yes, of course. All of you are very good at fantasy, at fabrication. Making up something so that you could say, “I’ve been there, done that.” And you have, which is how you put together what seems to be a story in this point and focus.
You are most creative. That is why some of you get into writing the stories of things. Because you have been there, done that. And so, you say, “Okay, I will tell what seems to be a fantasy.” And yet, at the moment, when you’re in it, it is reality. And it will feel, “Oh my goodness, do I really want to be in this?” And sometimes, as your dreams will show you, you’d better wake up and smell the roses. Okay.
Life. What I’m trying to say to you is that life is an adventure. Life is a gift that you give to yourself. A life with form and a life outside of form where you have the imagination, the tool for knowing and making adventure. Allow yourself to say, “Ah! Boy that was a good one.” And all of you could relate to that.
Sometimes there have been chapters in your life, where you have wondered, “Am I going to come through this?” Are they (whoever they are) going to (chop motion) off with the head? And you’ve been there, done that so yes, you know — okay, (chop motion), we’re gone. You have been there, done that. And now where are you? Right back doing the adventure again — with perhaps a different ending. You’d rather have a different ending.
But, you know, I was of the same thinking for a while. And I thought the worst thing that could happen would be perhaps the sword that would slice the body in half. Or it could be the crucifixion. That would be a slow and painful death. “I don’t think I’d like to do that to the body.” But I found, as you understand now, that that experience is only an experience. It is what you call it. And I found that I (and this is true for you) I am not tied to the body. I am the God having a human experience.
Now I know if you go and stand on the street corner and you say, “I Am..” et cetera, there are ones who are going to say, “Okay I’ll hasten you on your way — (chop motion) off with the head or whatever. But at the same time beloved ones, you are making the experience. Allow yourself to know, “I am the creative One (capital “O”). I am the creator of my life, of what I experience. I Am.” And call it all good.
“Wow Jeshua, I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t know if I’ve got the courage for that.” Well, start small. Find that you can trim the nails. Okay. Don’t have to put the spike through the hand. Trim the nails. “Okay, well that worked. That didn’t hurt much.”
Okay. Some of you have trimmed off a couple of fingers. Yes, I guess it stings. (Audience member, “Didn’t hurt at all”). Right, see didn’t hurt at all. There you are. I’m not advising that you go out tomorrow and go (chop motion) and cut it back. But if it happens, you are still who you have always been. You will always be the Christ having a human experience.
Take that to heart. Even after you are finished with this physicality, you are still the Christ, the essence of being, the Godhood, the God Self that knows human experience. Or knows the experience of the lion, the fish, the whale, the bird, anything that you can call upon to ask how would if feel to be? The worm of the dust — you might get stepped on, oh heavens, or there might be a bird that will come by and say, “Oh, dinner.” It could be that complete. What would you do next? You would recreate another body, another form. What have you done in the past? That’s what you’ve done in the past.
If you were the worm in the dust, and a winged one came by and said, “Oh, dinner,” you have then created something else to experience. And if you were not finished with knowing the worm of the dust and how it feels to go quite gradually, you would recreate another worm form. That is how creative you are. You can always have a do over. Have you heard that term? Of course, you have. What are you doing now? You’re doing a do over. You said, “I want to be the big, tall, strong manly form. I want to be in charge.” And then the smaller one has come along and has said, “Okay, you can be in charge as long as I make the decisions.”
I have seen how it works. All of you are the great demonstrators. All of you are the love on two feet, four-feet, winged, however. All of you are having a life experience. And if you want to have the angelic experience that is a choice for a while. Try it. You might like it. Or you try it and you say, “Oh, I want to try something a little more form. I want to have more form. I want to have more power.” I’m telling you the angelic ones have a lot of power, okay. But your choice, free choice. You don’t even have to pay for it. You just choose and if you don’t like what you have chosen, try it and try, try, and try again until you think you’ve got it right.
And then you choose anew one because you want to try something else.
It is a choice, a free choice. And it is the angelic one, the one who knows I Am and chooses to live as if everything is free. Everything is as it is. Everything is the Christ nature. I Am.
So be it.
Q & A JUDITH
Now he is saying I know there was a question I was supposed to answer. What was the question? He says there was something in the title of this evening that I was to answer. Yes, call it up and see. What was he supposed to answer? Because as he says, I get enlivened, and off he goes.
EVA
The question was “If God loves me, why do I feel so unloved?”
JUDITH 44:34
Ah ha, that is a very great question. Okay, Jeshua, what’s the answer to that one?
JESHUA
Okay, beloved Ones, you are changing that. That is why I did not spend a lot of time with it. You are changing that to the place where you know the love that you are. And you know that love that you are in order to be experienced, has to be given. It has to be demonstrated. It has to be in a gathering where ones’ love each other and you come together. And as this evening was showing for you, in the essence of it, “I am happy to see you.” And oftentimes, then there is the coming together as one with a hug where you reach out and you can feel the heartbeat of the one.
So, indeed, each time when you reach out in your heart, you are hugging yourself because there is no separation. Okay. Mini lesson
EVA
There are many people though, who don’t feel that love of God and then don’t allow the love of their brothers and sisters to themselves. What would you say to them?
JESHUA
I will say, beloved One, that that is completing. It is finishing. Ones if they do not feel loved and cannot, they say, cannot feel love are exiting for a time period. They will be back. They will come back. But right now, what is happening is a graduation where you get to a certain level. And ones are graduating to a recognition of something more than just themselves and coming to that place of oneness of love.
The ones who do not feel it, they will come back because there is a feeling of wanting to know, “Who am I? Why am I?” And asking for the completion even in human terms, “Why is it I feel unloved? Why am I not good enough?” And so, they will exit what seems to be a failed life. And then they will come and create for themselves as the babe in arms that realizes, “I am being taken care of. “I am wanted.”
Because many are leaving now. You have seen this with the pandemic as it is called. And ones exiting for that reason — there always has to be a reason seemingly. And so there is a change that is happening. Because they have tried over and over, lifetime over lifetime and they have seen they go just so far with it. Just up to a certain point. And then what more is there?
Well, there is that awakening where the Christ is born — in recognition, in acknowledgement, in Allness, in the places of, “Oh, I thought it was just an idea in a book somewhere. You mean it’s real? I can really feel like I have made it. I am lovable.” And the ones that are exiting now because they don’t feel that they are good enough, they will be back. Over and over if it takes that many times in order to know I am good enough. I am wanted.
Because you have seen this for yourself. You have felt it with your own small ones, where you have said, “I really want a small one. I want to see that babe in arms and look into those eyes. I want to have that experience. I want to know.” And they also, “I want to be able to look up and see love in someone’s eyes. To be wanted.” Okay. So, roles are changed. And you get to experience both sides – all, everything.
There are many who have exited as you have seen because of certain reasons (such as the pandemic) who are finished with repetition. Who are wanting to know, “How does it feel to love? Not just to be loved — that is good. But how does it feel to love, actually love someone where you would do anything for that one?”
And the same with perhaps adopting a four-footed one because you want the feeling of caring for and loving the energy moving forth. And so, oftentimes ones will perhaps not go as far as the two-footed one. Two- footed ones can be a challenge, okay. So, you get the four-footed ones. They have a litter of little ones and they have to look after these little ones. And it’s not any easier for them than it is for you with a two-footed one sometimes. I mean those four-footed puppies, oh, they go everywhere. And the mother dog is saying, “I can’t keep up.” The same as the human mother says, “I can’t keep up.”
So, you get to experience it — different forms, different level — over and over until you say, “Now I feel it. Not only do I know (because you’re at a place of knowing) but I feel it. Feel how it feels to care beyond myself.” Because many of you, if your beloved pet, the one that you love, the animal runs out in front of a car, you would be right after that one. Maybe not in front of the car. But you would be yelling at them, “Get out of the street,” or whatever.
Yes, you get to experience how it feels to be the one who loves another one so much that there is oneness acknowledged, “I am that four-footed one running in front of the car.” Of course.
EVA
What about the ones who come and experience so much hate as has been happening recently? Judith said that last Sunday, that the young man that was beaten to death was actually a volunteer and was coming here to show us something. Could you speak a little bit to that, because it’s something that I think is on the mind and in the hearts of people all over the country and all over the world.
JESHUA
This is true. These ones are your teachers. And they are not the ones who stand up in front of a class. And they read from a book or whatever. They’re the ones who are living a life same as you, same as you, same as you. And they come to a certain place where they realize that if I show that I — the essence of I — is more than just the form, there will be at least one that will catch that glimmer of understanding of the Reality — capital “R” — that you are. And realize that the form, no matter what form, does not matter. It is the essence, the spirit as you would call it, that counts and makes the decisions. And goes forth and says, “The body I can recreate.”
And this is what you do lifetime after lifetime. You create the form that you then get to move around with or not depending on what lesson you want to put forth for yourself and for others. And so, you get to create and experience. That is what life is all about. To create and experience and to love through it all.
You can make what you call the sampler that you put up on your wall. You can stitch it, “To create, to love, to experience.” Those who like to make the cross stitch…
EVA
So, he was a teacher of our love?
JESHUA
Yes, yes. He was willing to be pummeled to death, to the place where the non-love would take the body but not the spirit.
Know you how great that one spirit is that he is being celebrated. Not only in this collection of people (ones whose country) but also around the world where it is being spoken of. That this one allowed his life — the same as they talk about me — to be given so that ones can wake up. That is what it is all about. Waking up.
Waking up. It is a gift that is given.
So yes, if you will receive it — and I know there are ones who are going to question this. They say, “But Jeshua it is much too soon.” This one has already incarnated again. Yes, finished with one form. Come back to live as the teacher that he is.
You are all teachers, one way or another. You don’t all have to sacrifice on the cross. In truth, you’ve all been there, done it. When I speak of having the heavy spikes through the palm of the hand. “Oh, Jeshua, I can feel that.” Of course, you can feel it. You’ve experienced it. I am not the only one. You even have the story of the two thieves that are crucified alongside. You were one of the thieves.
“Jeshua, how can you call me a thief? I have never in my whole lifetime, never stolen anything.” Sure, you would — for your family. If you had small ones, and they needed something you have taken a bit. Maybe not for yourself, but for them. You’ve been there, done that. And the creative One of you does not judge and say that one’s wrong.
“Oh, now you’re talking blasphemy?” Yes, yes.
EVA
So, we don’t judge because we’ve done it all and been there ourselves.
Jeshua
Exactly. You have been there, done that. You know how it feels to be on both sides. To be the one who goes and makes a decision. And the one who receives.
EVA
Thank you so very much.
JESHUA
Any more questions? I do enjoy the questions.
EVA
Well, I’m sure they will be coming in our Q & A. I just wanted to follow up on the one that was uppermost in our minds.
AUDIENCE MEMBER
It would seem then that heaven is really the love of God.
JESHUA
Right? I think he’s got it. And he’s right here.
EVA
We live in that kingdom all the time.
JESHUA
All the time. Be aware of it and give it. Yes, yes. That is why we, you have these groups. And that is why my beloved friend and teacher, and the same for all of you, enjoy being in the group where you can reach out and touch. Reach out and hug. Put the love to work. Yes. Beautiful.
You feel the vibration of love. Yes. And it is true. It is real. There is a vibration of love. It has been measured. It has been written about. It is real. So, allow yourself to live in that vibration. Give it freely. There is no charge. Well, yeah, there is a charge to it. But anyway, you are charged.
Is there a question?
AUDIENCE MEMBER
Thank you. Jeshua, in the presence of what you’ve spoken to us about so many times — about we are the creators. We are creating our own life and it is an adventure. And encouraging us to be in love, to be in joy. My question is (probably comes from a little bit of upbringing of) there is a reference made to as we go along in our journey to surrendering to the Divine. And could you give us some clarification about the practice or process of surrendering to the Divine and how that fits in with being a creator as we are?
JESHUA
Right. Well as you have recognized, every moment in time you are creating. You are creating this gathering. You are creating your feelings about the questions that are asked, about the answers, and the train of thought that comes forth from the questioning. You are creating all of that at the same time. That is how great you are.
You think that you are just a little point of vibration sitting on the sofa. You are much more than that.
You are the Mind — capital “M” — of humanity. The experiences that you have had, not only in this lifetime but many other lifetimes as well, come forth to be experienced, expressed, understood, explained to know what all those experiences were pointing to. All of your experiences are teachers in themselves. And they are saying, “But how do you feel about whatever the experience is? And what would you say to another one going through what you have just come through or what you’re contemplating? What would you say is the value if you were (and you are) the teacher.” Okay. Because you play all the roles. You play the role that is being taught and trying to find the morsel of truth in it. And you also play the teacher who is putting it forward so that others can know, relate to, grow perhaps, in a place of understanding.
Yes, there is much going on at the one moment in time as it seems to be. So, you are going, asking, living, testing out, adventuring — a word that I very much like because it feels like an adventure. Human life is an adventure. No matter how you live it. It’s an adventure.
You take from it a certain bit of understanding — experience, called experience. And then you meet up with someone who’s going through something similar. And you compare notes. And you say, “Well, this is how I see it. This is what I gained from it.” And they say, “Well, I didn’t get that. I got something else,” et cetera.
So, there is a wealth of information and experience that can be shared and is shared. You are wealthy, not only this lifetime but other lifetimes as well, where you bring that as past experience. And there may be something that comes up and you make a decision. And someone will say, “Well, how did you know what to choose from that?” And you say, “I don’t know. It just felt right.” Yes.
And you’ve come through a lot of experiences where you’ve tried something out and you didn’t feel right. Or you’ve tried something out and it was like, “Oh, that’s what that was all about. I have heard my beloved friend and teacher, the one you know as Judith. She says that almost daily, “Oh, that’s what that was all about.” She’s a little bit slow. But she wants to get the goodness out of each experience.” So yes.
I heard that. Thank you for your question. Very good. That is — one more? Sure.
AUDIENCE MEMBER
So, we’ve been watching a lot of NDAs, near death experiences where people pass out of the body. The body physically dies; they go somewhere and come back into that body. And they’re all a little bit different. And people have a little bit different scene. But one of the things that seems to be really kind of ubiquitous is that many people initially find themselves in a dark void. And they’re pretty uncertain about it. They don’t feel real good about that. And then there’s a light, some kind of light. And all these people are choosing to go to the light which sends them right back here. So, what kind of experience would it be if you chose the void?
JESHUA
Try it and see. Right?
AUDIENCE MEMBER
Good answer.
JESHUA
Nothing can harm the spirit of you, of who you truly are. So, the adventuresome ones will say, “Okay, I’ve tried going to the light many times, to the place where I have to wear the sunglasses now. But I want to know how does it feel to go to the shadowy part? Can I still know who I am there?” Wait and see. Come back and write up a report. You have an assignment.
AUDIENCE MEMBER
Yes, sir.
CONVERSATION FROM AUDIENCE
No matter where you go, there WE are.
JESHUA
Yes. Right. Yes, there is only one. Exactly. I think he’s got it.
EVA
Well Jeshua, one last request. And that is we have a sister who has a birthday today. And I promised her that she would be doubly blessed by coming. And here she is.
JESHUA
You’d be here anyway,
EVA
Do you have a message for her on this special day?
JESHUA
Yes. You have chosen this day, this number as you understand numbers in your language. Numbers have a language of themselves. This — every year as it comes up for you, it has a slightly different take on it, shadowing, however you want to say it. The basic message each year is the same and it is welcome home. To come to that place of saying, “Yes, I have chosen to be here in what feels sometimes not like home.” And sometimes it doesn’t.
Sometimes it’s like, “What is this all about? Why did I choose this?” I know I have heard that many times. You chose it for the wealth of the friends, of the experiences of humanhood. Because you have said, “I want to know all aspects of being human. I have tried being the cricket I have tried being the butterfly, I have tried being the whale. I have tried being the essence of the skunk.” Whatever.
I’m getting a little bit of criticism from my beloved friend and teacher. Okay. But you have tried everything in order to know everything. “How does it feel? How would it be if I chose what seems to be a lifetime as that being?” And so, you have, you’ve developed (this is true for all of you), what you call the imagination. “I can imagine,” you say “how it would feel to be x, y & z.” Okay.
And that is a gifting. And people speak of the gifts that you have, as a human. There are certain gifts, certain drawbacks as well — ones will be very quick to point those out, okay. But for a birthday anniversary, allow yourself to know the friends that you have, and how they value you in their lifetime in being able to share the goodness of human life. And the ups and downs. Because human life presents opportunity, you know, for the ups and for the down days.
So, you have a certain shared reality with ones and it is rich. Allow yourself to celebrate, to look upon on other ones who are your friends. And to say to them, “Thank you for being in my life,” as they will say to you, “Thank you for walking the human path.” They may not choose those words, but it’s the same as ones are happy to skip through life that’s happy. Which is a gift that you are giving as you live it. Know that you are.
And you feel this. I know that you feel this — the child, always the divine child having a human experience. Live it up. Enjoy. Be all you can be.
So be it.
– Jeshua ben Joseph (Jesus)
in expression through Judith
Judith Coates
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