Exploring Gentleness
By Steve Beckow
On one level, it doesn’t matter what’s going on outside. I know the purpose of life is Self-Realization (1) and so I continue to observe myself, separating the transitory from the eternal, moving along the path of self-awareness and self-discovery.
I reflect on my life, at 5 in the morning, no one else being up. And I see what a prominent place anger has played in it.
Having been kicked around and swatted as a kid by my father, I eventually learned how to defend myself and then went around looking for a fight. Anger was such a valuable survival tool that I regarded it as a friend.
But it’s not a friend on the receiving end and I regret my part in the conflict. I still get angry when triggered. And all of that has to go before Michaelangelo & Partners opens its doors.
So this delay and then hope and then delay and then hope (since 2013, in my case) has always worked for me because it allows me a dress rehearsal. I may go over my post-Reval To Do list again. I may practise describing the work of the fund to an imaginary applicant. All the time I’m learning, growing.
Anger is something that can upset the apple cart quickest so I’d prefer not to have a trace of it in me when showtime arrives.
Something I noticed this morning is that I can practise ways of being that increase my distance from anger.
Good example: Gentleness. There’s more distance between gentleness and anger than, say, between roughness or crudeness and anger.
Gentleness also seems like an anger-retardant. Even when it’s spurned.
Again, the further my distance from anger, theoretically, the more reaction time I have. The more time to detect anger rising and express what its message is while I’m minimally reactivated and maximally in control. These are my working hypotheses.
What does anger say? I don’t want to do that. I want to do this. I want that. I don’t want this. You can’t have it! Oh, go ahead.
This is infantile. What happened to “say no nicely”?
I’m back in kindergarten with this one.
***
My grand motif, (2) the thought that organizes other thoughts, is “you can’t trust anyone.” Keep your dukes up. Don’t turn your back on anyone. It always comes when you least expect it.
Dad speaking. Merchant marine. WW2. Down manning the ship’s boiler. Dead duck in case of a torpedo attack. Very rough. I don’t blame him.
And I also suspect that it was designed to awaken in me a past-life memory of … a military life. It awakened a martial spirit in me. I think that has done its job now and can probably be put back on the shelf. I know where it is, where it came from, and what its use is if needed.
But it’ll be needed less and less, perhaps as I learn more and more not to resort to anger but to resort to gentleness instead. And perhaps the rising lovelight energies – and med beds – will erase the rest.
Footnotes
(1) See The Purpose of Life is Enlightenment at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Purpose-of-Life-is-Enlightenment-5.pdf
(2) “The Grand Motif,”
- God the Source is unconditional love, not a zealous god of [some] dogmatic religions.
- All articles are the responsibility of the respective authors.
- My personal opinion: Nobody is more Anti-Semite then the Zionists.
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