The Secret to Empathic Listening
By Judith Orloff M. D.
Posted on November 24, 2024
Empathic listening is a way to help heal others through the quality of your presence and attention. You consciously give your time, focus, and compassion to someone who needs to be heard. You slow down to be fully in the moment without distractions. No checking messages, being on the internet, watching television, scanning the room, or taking calls. You are quiet. You are attuning. You are present.
As a psychiatrist, I’m a trained listener. When patients consult me, I’m able to listen to them on a deeper level by utilizing my intellect, my intuition, and empathic abilities. This is very gratifying to me as it gives me the opportunity to understand what they are experiencing on a deeper level. To empower my empath patients, I teach them to listen to their inner voice and set boundaries with difficult people so their empathy can be a source of strength, love, and vitality rather than “dis-ease.”
Empathic listening is very different from talking. It is a quiet, non-verbal exercise in cultivating presence and showing undivided attention. This is also known as “passive listening,” which is different from “active listening” where you ask questions and discuss what the person shared.
Six Keys to Empathic Listening
Here is an overview of the main points to practice empathic listening. You can learn additional techniques in my book The Genius of Empathy.
As you begin to practice empathic listening, simply offer the recipient a supportive, nonjudgmental presence. Allowing time to listen to someone gives them space to express themselves. People also enjoy sharing happy moments and breakthroughs. Listening to these is a way of sharing positive energy and a sense of celebration with each other.
Judith Orloff
- God the Source is unconditional love, not a zealous god of [some] dogmatic religions.
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