Friday, August 30, 2024

Kneaded to Make Sacred Bread

By Steve Beckow

Posted on August 30, 2024

Entitlement

This continues to be a period of one failure after another. But the process is so educational that I can’t overlook recording it.

Where do I start? Two external hard drives that I purchased didn’t work, for different reasons. One was locked and I couldn’t unlock it. Etc. Long stories. A day of faffing around with that.

A bill that I thought I had paid for I had not. It required an additional and unexpected payment.

I purchased a protective plastic keyboard cover from Amazon. When it arrived the case that came with it didn’t fit altogether and the plastic keyboard cover fit all but one row of keys.

I later learned that problems I began having with my new computer were traceable to this same plastic cover. It kept the lid open a fraction and convinced the machine that I was still using it. The machine would cut out and turn on and cut out. I couldn’t figure out why!

On and on it went.

Nothing seemed to be concluded on the first pass. Something went wrong or some hitch developed. Resubmission was needed. More work. More delay.

I’m very clear on what’s happening. I’m having every shred of ego, every last trace of impatience, arrogance, and entitlement ground out of me. That’s one way of talking about it.

My change of vote from orneriness to loving-kindness is being helped along by increasing the pressure on me to come from the latter – or pay a cost.

I noticed, uniformly, that, when I came from loving-kindness and was speaking to an agent? Universally every interaction went very successfully, even happily. So initial experiment successful.

Initial beachhead of understanding? Loving kindness increases one’s chances of success in interaction.

If I get surly, as I’ve done in the past, (1) sooner or later, I’m going to get my vote cancelled. I have this gut feeling about it. Time to get it, Stevie.

XSeeing this, I’ve cast down the unworkable paradigm of entitlement and created space for a new one to arise.

Or, as I’ve also called it on other occasions, I changed my vote. (2)

When the price of obstinateness or orneriness gets too high, we begin to question our choices and paradigms.

I was either going to drop my ornery way of being, which I did a week ago, (3) or pay a very high price. Michael has already identified for me what I consider a very high price: Failing in my mission for the Divine Mother. (4)

So let me dig in to these obstacles to being loving-kind to prepare for my upcoming business role of CEO of a large organization.

***

It’s all ego. But let’s look at one manageable aspect, entitlement.

Never mind whether I’m entitled to “anything” or not. Someone once gave me an invaluable piece of advice which I heed here (as a future CEO): Iris Hone (if you’re out there) once told me: You can have anything you want in this world provided you don’t have to take credit for it. Thank you, Iris.

That really comes into play the larger the arena, the greater the project, etc.

How many times have I heard another person take credit for something I thought I did. And, remembering Iris, I kept silent.

If I were to say, I did that, a fight could ensure or at the least bruised feelings.

I want the outcome to be successful more than I want or need the notch in my belt, the collar, the credit.

Why do I, who has access to love and have realized all my worldly goals, need to take credit for anything? I really don’t.

So much for the issue of entitlement. So you see the process?

I’m being hit every day with so many things that I’m beginning to see these “problems” as simply one situation after another that needs to be handled as and when I have the time.

My ability to weather the unexpected and urgent, without drama or complaint has increased. I’m not reacting from extremes as much anymore. I feel more balanced.

This is what it took to drive entitlement (I hope) right out of me.

I know I am (like you) being kneaded to make sacred bread for God’s Holy Feast of Ascension. I know I’m also being cleansed and in other ways prepared to handle the magnified challenge that awaits me – and all of us who are participating – after the Reval.

And, as I’ve said before, if I wake up tomorrow and it was all a dream? Who cares, given the amount I’ve grown preparing for it.

Footnotes

(1) “Squeezing the Orneriness Outta Me,” July 10, 2024, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2024/07/10/squeezing-the-orniriness-outta-me/

(2) On a change of vote, see:

“Changing My Vote on Change,” January 25, 2023, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2023/01/25/changing-my-vote-on-change/ 
“Changed My Mind,” September 6, 2021, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2021/09/06/changed-my-mind/
“How Do I Change Myself?” August 5, 2020, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2020/08/05/312381/ 
“A Radical Change of Vote,” December 23, 2019, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2019/12/23/a-radical-change-of-vote/.

(3) See “Squeezing the Orniriness Outta Me,” July 10, 2024, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2024/07/10/squeezing-the-orniriness-outta-me/.

(4) Archangel Michael: The fear within the fear is that you will let down the Mother. …

But let us suggest, it can’t all ride on your shoulders. This is an issue, a vasana (core issue), that you and the channel both share. So look at the fear and give it to me. (Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Aug. 1, 2014.) (Hereafter AAM.)

Archangel Michael: It is not matter of overreaching and exhausting yourself. It is not a matter of thinking, “Well, then if I work and I don’t put in 13 hours a day…, somehow I have let the Mother down.’ That is not so.… It is the balance, sweet one. (AAM, Feb. 20, 2018.)

Steve Beckow