The Felt Need to Be Right
By Steve Beckow
As I transition from ogre to loving kindness, I’m watching myself, to spot any impediments.
And I just saw myself spark at such a very minor, everyday matter that I feel embarrassed to mention it. OK, OK. It was implied that I was not right in saying what time I got home.
Right away I rolled out the heavy guns and looked around me to see who was the transgressor, who had implied I was wrong?
As I waited to identify the threat, I began reviewing my favorite justifications, excuses, and denials just in case they were needed.
So simple a matter, huh? The stuff of wars.
One accusation of being wrong is equal to another. I’d start World War III over a false accusation of getting the time wrong as easily as I would over Pearl Harbor.
Vasanas (core issues) are insane. The way the mind works can be insane. I’m glad I changed my vote. I no longer have to occupy that ornery territory.
So this is what I’m doing: I’m either getting the experience of loving kindness or getting the barrier. If the barrier, I’m processing it. (1)
Keep in mind that loving kindness is already there. It’s simply buried under our personal load of resentments, complaints, judgments, etc.
As I saw at Xenia on Sept. 17, 2018, my purity and innocence are native to me. They exist at a place that can be thought of as way under or way deeper than the vasanas (core issues), something I saw in meditation on that day. (2)
I’m not seeking something outside myself. Like everything else good, I suspect I’ll find it in my heart.
Thus, for me, the work is to experience through to completion – or eliminate – the obstacles, the vasanas and the independently-existing automatic behavior patterns that the vasanas give rise to.
Underneath I’m sure I’ll find that the true Me is already wholly loving and kind.
Footnotes
(1) On processing a vasana, see “How to Handle Unwanted Feelings: The Upset Clearing Process,” in Vasanas: Preparing for Ascension by Clearing Old Issues at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Vasanas-Preparing-for-Ascension-R8.pages.pdf
(2) On the experience of the Self at Xenia, see:
- “We Are, All of Us, Innocent and Pure,” April 7, 2020, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2020/04/07/307247/
- “Archangel Michael Explains What Happened at Xenia,” Sept. 22, 2018, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2018/09/22/archangel-michael-explains-what-happened-at-xenia/
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