8 Traits of a Super Empath:
Find Out If You Are One
By Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)
Posted on April 1, 2023
What is a super empath? You might think it means an empath with heightened sensitivity. You’re right, but it’s complicated.
Super empaths feel other people’s emotions more intensely. It’s like having a superpower; you can use it for good or evil. In this article, I want to examine super empath traits, how they differ from empaths and how they cope with this hypersensitivity.
8 Traits of a Super Empath
1. You can dial your emotions up or down
Super empaths can dial down their empathy levels or ramp them up. It all depends on the situation. Typically, this happens after prolonged abuse. Super empaths call this ‘shutting down their emotions’.
Super empaths are finely tuned to other people’s feelings. They use their opponent’s insecurities and fears like a heat-seeking missile against abusers.
Super empaths know what the other person is going through. It’s easy for them to know what triggers a person. For instance, if their partner is giving them the silent treatment, they won’t speak either. If someone continually puts them down, they’ll do the same. Super empaths can project nasty traits back onto their abuser, but with added oomph.
Meanness or indifference are not associated with empathy. However, in certain circumstances, they are a super empath trait. Super empaths can become critical, impatient, derogatory, mean, and spiteful. In effect, mirroring their abuser, or playing them at their own game.
They can also appear uninterested and then explode with rage. However, it doesn’t give them pleasure and they are aware of how damaging their actions are.
2. You attract narcissists
You might wonder why super empaths take such drastic action. One reason is that their caring and empathic nature attracts narcissists. One of the most common empath traits is a desire to help others. Narcissists pick up on this quickly and ensnare a super empath.
Narcissists use the empath’s compassion to their advantage. However, while an empath may remain in an unhealthy relationship, super empaths are different. Some call this a super empath awakening.
The empath finally realizes their powers and begins manipulating the narcissist. In a battle between a super empath vs narcissist, I’d put my money on the former.
3. You can see situations from both sides
Do you defend other people’s actions? Do you play Devil’s Advocate in arguments? Do you explain the situation from the other person’s point of view?
Super empaths understand why people do things. For example, you may have a black sheep in the family. Your siblings disowned them long ago, but you stay in touch. You remember how they struggled in adolescence. You understand how this accounts for their behavior.
4. You are critically self-aware
Critically self-aware people can tap into others’ emotions. However, they’re also mindful of their mental state and how that can influence them. You may have even conducted shadow work on yourself.
As a result, you are aware of your biases. You understand you’re seeing the world through an imperfect lens. This lens has many influences; your upbringing, family and friends, environment, mainstream and social media.
You know your triggers, why you react the way you do, and moderate your behavior accordingly.
5. You have a strong sense of identity
Being self-aware is beneficial in all aspects of life. It provides super empaths with the insight to change their behavior and understand their strengths and weaknesses. You know who you are, what you stand for, and what your beliefs and values are, and you’re unapologetic about voicing them.
However, you combine your self-awareness with tact and diplomacy. You are also aware of other people’s feelings. You hope to educate people, not preach to them.
A super empath wants to spread compassion, mediate, and bring people together. They want a utopian world where everyone gets along; those who can contribute do, and those who cannot, are looked after.
6. You are a people-pleaser
Some people offer advice without being asked, give you their opinion whether you want it or not, and ‘like to tell it straight’. In other words, they are tactless and have no motive apart from making themselves look and feel superior.
I’ll give you my favorite example; I had just bought my new car and was excited about showing it to a friend. It was the most I’d ever spent on a vehicle. I was buzzing about driving this ‘luxurious model’ home. My friend saw it and said,
“I don’t like the color.”
My friend is the opposite of a super empath. Super empaths are always conscious of how they come across to other people. They think before speaking, taking people’s feelings into account. They certainly don’t say anything upsetting to people.
7. You are highly in tune with others’ emotions
Super empaths are hyper-sensitive to the experiences and feelings of others. This isn’t just about understanding what someone is going through. For instance, we can all sympathize with someone grieving their partner’s loss. We might console them, feel sad for them, offer practical help or a shoulder to cry on.
But super empaths feel their grief as if it’s their own. They experience the pain, heartbreak and deep sorrow of others for themselves.
I know someone who cannot watch a film where a child or a dog dies. She has set up several donations for charities after becoming overwhelmed with sadness at the plight of starving children, overworked donkeys, the homeless, bile bears, you name it, she donates to it.
8. Your partners can change your mood
Do you ever feel like you’re not in control of your emotions? Perhaps you feel that others have unfettered access to your mood, changing it at will.
Some people naturally brighten up a room, whereas others are emotional vampires, sucking the joy from everything around them. You lean towards the strongest mood. You’re like a sponge; sucking up the atmosphere but not able to change it.
Final Thoughts
It’s difficult being a super empath. You’re at the mercy of other people’s pain or pleasure. Super empaths attract narcissists and can end up in abusive relationships. However, they are also the best people to recognize manipulating behavior thanks to their self-awareness.
If you think you are a super empath after reading this article, remember, you need to care for yourself as well as others.
References:
Janey Davies
Sub-editor & staff writer at Learning Mind
Janey Davies has been published online for over 10 years. She has suffered from a panic disorder for over 30 years, which prompted her to study and receive an Honours degree in Psychology with the Open University. Janey uses the experiences of her own anxiety to offer help and advice to others dealing with mental health issues.
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